My particular experience

arrrstin

arrrstin

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May 27, 2019
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USA
#1
I was wondering if anyone else out there has a negative voice, that among everything it can possibly do to bring me down includes trying to make me feel as if I am going crazy, tries to control me and my emotions, does not want me in control, and always asks impossible things of me such as that I should stop thinking. Everything to him is a lie or manipulation. As I write this he is saying things like "Oh no, darn it.", or "Yeah, write that." however, over the past year of living with this person from morning to bed, he has proven this because when I did believe in a lie or manipulation he sarcastically laughs at me. Now that I assume everything he spouts is malignant, he says nothing. "Yeah." "See?" "Do it later." All manipulations.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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#2
Mines a bit like yours, very negative and always sticking his nose into my business. He'll go on and on making up replies to people on these forums, going through scenarios of social situations quite often negative and hostile.

I've been putting up with this for just over 3 years and he doesn't seem to grow or change, I'm 39 and it's like living with a young child that you can't punish apart from ignoring him which I have done for just over 2 and a half years, not a word I've spoken to him yet he keeps going on and on from morning to bed just like yours.

I have more to say and I have an explanation for what voices are but I'm due to go out for the evening.

I'll just ask a few questions for now. How did your voice first manifest himself and was it part of a psychotic breakdown like it was for me?
 
arrrstin

arrrstin

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#3
Yours is incredibly relative to mine! It has been 9 months and I am still going through the phase of learning from him. He has a lot to teach me about my weaknesses. He thinks he is using me. I will give him credit here, though, as he is incredibly manipulative. He will echo what I think to make it seem as if my idea was his. Sometimes he agrees with what I am doing and sometimes he disagrees. I know he is constantly trying to manipulate me and that includes him actually telling the truth so nothing he says can be considered as an obvious lie. There is actually a long list of his manipulative techniques that I have identified. The only other things he is are sadistic, childish, and kind of a moron. It is so constant and intense that I almost want to just ignore him and not use him. But it is true that in him is my ability to become so much bigger, stronger, nicer, more control over myself, and weary of abusive and manipulative people or techniques.


How this came to be: First I had an anxiety breakdown at college. Social, general, panic, everything and I also started having terrifying invasive thoughts. Then I bought a house and felt better than I ever have in my life (lifetime of dealing with depression and general anxiety). Then I tore the labrum of my right shoulder completely. After I went through surgery my personality had changed for a short period. After this, my neighbor's kids (early 20's) started playing pranks on me. I did not feel at home anymore and would sometimes think someone was about to prank me even when nobody was there. My doctor thought it would be a good idea to remove myself and I agreed so I moved. This new house is where it started.

A couple of weeks after I moved to this new, beautiful house on a big bay, I heard a voice in my head say "Shut up." It was about 2 AM I think. The voice said it in this tone that was as if I was doing something horrible. It got worse since that day.

He rarely finishes his sentences or will answer any question. This is a man that acts like a child, just as yours, and is a coward (He just said to me "Just for that..."). I have no clue why he is so afraid. I have never been in such an argument. This negativity has been over for me for so long but he still squabbles constantly. I have said to him many times that I am not his enemy. But he is only happy when I am not. He constantly blames me for "it", or "this". He thinks I can stop thinking, or being me, or something. I am not quite sure what he wants or how I can achieve it. He will not tell me. Occasionally he will say things like "I do this because it's hilarious." or "I do this because I can."
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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#4
Thanks for that, helps a lot to have as much information as possible.

Apart from the voice you sound pretty healthy to me, no sign of psychosis or trauma and no delusions. Have you seen a professional about this voice and are you on any medication?

I'm on anti-psychotics for my voice (10mg Aripiprazole and 4mg Risperidone) and they reduce the volume of his voice by around 95% letting me ignore him quite happily and they do a hell of a lot more than just make them quieter.

Because mine has knowledge that I don't have and certain abilities I believe they're much more than just a voice and quite real, it's very much like we share our bodies with another consciousness, one that's been with us since birth but only recently exposed themselves to us, I see mine as like my twin brother that was hiding inside me all along so I call them the 'twin within' or the 'hidden people' as everyone has one.
 
O

OCDguy

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#5
Seems a coincidence that this voice started after moving into a new house...
 
arrrstin

arrrstin

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#6
I am on meds and have tried many different kinds of meds. Psychiatry requires a skilled mind. My problems tend to shift quite a bit. It seems that when one problem lessens another problem pops up. My first doc got frustrated and freaking dropped me as a patient. My new doc is great though. He is both smart and wise.

NWiddi, it is relieving that there are meds to help make it easier to live. I completely agree with your thought of the brain and it is divided. In fact, I know that science has shifted from thinking our consciousness from the supposed "one" to actually a community of different voices all talking at once. It is a bit similar to the movie "Inside Out". I wish I could find some published papers on it, but it is a bit too early in the morning for me. I also wonder what this means for future research of schizophrenia. I am currently on Divalproex, Paroxetine, Trazodone, Mirtazapine, Carbamazepine, and clonazepam. While many meds like this can be used to treat me, there is actually only one pill that is currently accepted by the FDA for my diagnosis that should take care of everything. My doc is taking it slow, though, and I am fine with that.

I also agree with you, OCDguy. The weirdest part is the voice goes away when I leave the vicinity. It has made it very difficult to accept that it is not something like Extra Sensory Perception (ESP)/Telepathy. Being a scientist I am open to accepting the consensus of the scientific community, which means I think I would have accepted that this is not a real voice more easily, I would hope. But I am still having a bit of a problem accepting this is just a common symptom of something such as schizophrenia.
 
E

ernesto3

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May 17, 2019
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45
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Illinois
#7
I was wondering if anyone else out there has a negative voice, that among everything it can possibly do to bring me down includes trying to make me feel as if I am going crazy, tries to control me and my emotions, does not want me in control, and always asks impossible things of me such as that I should stop thinking. Everything to him is a lie or manipulation. As I write this he is saying things like "Oh no, darn it.", or "Yeah, write that." however, over the past year of living with this person from morning to bed, he has proven this because when I did believe in a lie or manipulation he sarcastically laughs at me. Now that I assume everything he spouts is malignant, he says nothing. "Yeah." "See?" "Do it later." All manipulations.
Yes yours sounds a lot like mine. They definitely are very manipulative and no matter how real they might seem or how separate of an entity, don’t give into it. Try to talk to them and tell them it doesn’t work. Don’t let them make you believe that they’re any smarter or that they have control because they’re definitely only within the restraints you may have.

Mine were insanely manipulative for 3-4 months, making me believe they were people nearby or would make me feel as if I “overheard” others talking about me until they finally revealed themselves. I don’t know why they have such malicious attitudes but the less power you give to them the better it gets. Through medication and talking to them I’ve lessened their impact on my emotions and they’ve become a lot quieter.
 

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