my official diagnosis and appointment today

[shalee]

today i met with my wonderful psychiatrist, for what was supposed to be a half hour 'check up' and ended up being a two hour session complete with audio/visual recordings of our meeting. he wanted us to have it all on tape so that we can look back on our meetings over time, and see how things have changed.

my formal diagnosis was given. bipolar type 1 with mixed states.

i'm still confused though because i was put on citalopram a month ago...which, according to my drug guide, can escalate manic episodes. so am i REALLY bipolar type 1, or was it just drug-induced and really i'm totally fine? i don't know...i know this is probably a bit of denial taking.

for the next two weeks i am being put on lorazepam prn and olanzapine once daily. i'm not really sure what the point of this is, because i sort of expected to be put on a mood stabilizer/antidepressant combo. but i'm sure this man has a plan in mind..he is a fantastic psychiatrist.

he said he will likely not put me on lithium, as this can sometimes 'dull' mania to the point of losing your creativity...which i want so badly to hold on to because it is a huge part of who i am. so i think he is trying to sort out what a good drug combo will be for me.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

At least you can start trying too accept the diagnosis and once the meds are sorted you can start living your life again

 

[Dollit]

I wouldn't write of lithium completely because I take it and have done for quite a while and it dulls nothing in me. I'm just as creative and productive - in fact a little more so because I can concentrate. But there are other mood stabilizers on the market that can work equally as well.

As for the "maybe you weren't because it was the medication" well most people do that argument with themselves at one point. Speaking from one who fought my diagnosis for more years than strictly necessary, it's actually better to work on acceptance.

Good luck and keep coming back.