My OCD.

Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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#1
I have OCD. I remember when I worked at a University, I was in a hall that had students taking their exams, although i'm pretty sure we called them schools rather than halls. So this was the south school I was in and it was assigned to me to look after and make changes, etc for the exam period of that part of the year.

Anyways I remember walking through the isles between the students and having this thought and feeling of touching the/a student's hand or the student themself (i feel like i'm lying about this? but i see either the student or their hand to cover both bases).
I guess that might of been or is when I first had OCD? But now something else comes to mind about not wanting to lie.

The not wanting to lie but feeling like lying? at times? was a result of a relationship I had where I lied about most things and after I told the truth to my ex, eventually the relationship ended but also because of something else I did that i admitted to/told her.

So from there perhaps the not wanting to lie eventually combined with my addiction some how resulted in OCD eventually down the line.

So if the whole student thing was the first bit of OCD then that was back in summer of 2010.
Since then my OCD is now very dominent over my life.
I hand wash, have intrusive thoughts which include touching people inappropriately, intrusive feelings but I guess they are from intrusive thought but I will say to cover bases that intrusive feelings themselves.
I get upset easily but I don't show it outwardly, it's inwardly. My mind wonders to the past, day dreams, about the future.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#2
It is interesting that you can trace your OCD back to a specific event.

I use to compulsively use the telephone and annoy people. I really don't know how I stopped except that I got sick of myself like that.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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#3
Well also I have had anxiety and still do but back before the OCD, depression and addiction, this feeling of anxiety was a mostly a uncomfortable feeling if not totally uncomfortable but i didn't know it was anxiety.
So I've have that way before although it's wasn't daily or anything like that ( I guess).
Plus my brother has Schizophrenia and my mother's sister does also. And on my fathers side, my father himself was an alcoholic? had trouble with the drink? I guess so.
 
Stephen Geog

Stephen Geog

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#4
Stephen

Hiya, I think I have OCD amongst other issues, I was abused during childhood, in the 1970's, physically,sexually, everything,. I'm now 49 and still suffer flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks,
But my OCD if it is that, I've tried explaining this to Doctors over the years and a psychologist,they look at me like I'm crazy,"which I probably am". My OCD is all mental, in my head, if I'm having a bad day thinking about my abused past, for example, anybody can talk to me, and say ""hello, how are you doing today, Stephen?"". I will suddenly remember a sentence my abuser said to me, and I make it fit into the sentence the stranger said to me, like
ABUSER-- come here and effing sit down
Stranger--hello, how are you doing today Stephen
So I get the last words of each sentence which is down,and Stephen, and I have to count the letters from both sentences so they both end at the letters N for Stephen and N for dowN,
So ABUSER said "" come here and effing sit down,.
So I start at ""sit down"" which equals ""hello ho""" then start at beginning"" come here and effing sit down"" ----w are you doing today Stephen""it goes on and on for hours and hours sometimes, No- one seems to understand, they don't listen to my other problems, so I don't expect anyone to listen to me talk about this, if anyone can understand me, is it OCD??