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My name is Tomo and im struggling

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Tomo

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Hull
Im already a member of AA so i guess im used to finally admitting stuff. Hi. My names Tomo and I have BPD and its got worse since i stopped drinking nearly 2 years ago. Im in a relationship with someone whom i dearly love. But.... i "dump" her nearly every month, have a melt down, want to top myself, send nasty texts, hound her, get distraut that ive lost her. But hey up tomo what did you expect? You dumped her !! Now i want her back when ive suffered enough emotional pain ( which is intense trust me). Luckily for me shes a councillor but its taking ots toll on her now. I love her so much but im going to loose her soon. Ive started to see a therapist as well as attending loafs of aa meetings. Im 58 and fed up with this horrible illness.
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,728
Location
Florida
Hi Tomo. I go to a psychiatrist and therapist. I abuse alcohol and I have BPD. You know what my psychiatrist told me-I can not use my mental illness to get out of living life. So when you start acting off balance you need to repair the issue. Sounds like you have a lovely person in your life. Keep going to meetings and seeing your therapist. You have a great support system in place. It is a life long process so do not give up. Hugs Jules
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,032
Location
Lancashire
Have you every heard of DBT? Its dialectical behavioural therapy and was originally designed for people with BPD although its being rolled out for other conditions now. I did it (I am bipolar diagnosed) and haven't looked back. Its worth looking into and asking locally if its on offer there. It takes a year to year and half to complete but its well worth it.
 
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Tomo

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Hull
Hi Tomo. I go to a psychiatrist and therapist. I abuse alcohol and I have BPD. You know what my psychiatrist told me-I can not use my mental illness to get out of living life. So when you start acting off balance you need to repair the issue. Sounds like you have a lovely person in your life. Keep going to meetings and seeing your therapist. You have a great support system in place. It is a life long process so do not give up. Hugs Jules
Hi Jules.
Thanks for your reply and kind words.
My problems only realy surfaced after 40 years of drinking. I didnt really notice when i drank and sometimes smoked weed. By not drinking im getting more self aware and getting to know myself a little. Sometimes i wished i had stayed in the " haze" of denial but its time to change. Im not so sure if my condition has improved by stopping drinking or maybe im just more aware? Try AA its fantastic and could change your life forever.👍👋
 
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Tomo

Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Hull
Have you every heard of DBT? Its dialectical behavioural therapy and was originally designed for people with BPD although its being rolled out for other conditions now. I did it (I am bipolar diagnosed) and haven't looked back. Its worth looking into and asking locally if its on offer there. It takes a year to year and half to complete but its well worth it.
Thanks so much for this advice. I have heard of this but not sure what it is?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,032
Location
Lancashire
Its a therapy based on 4 Core aspects that cause most problems for people with MH conditions especially BPD. Now I am bound to forget one but these are Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Distress Tolerance and Emotional Regulation. Mindfulness is the basis behind all of them and the aspect practised most. It is totally practical and teaches techniques and methods of thinking to cope with each one of these. I found it brilliant and would recommend it to anyone, BPD or not.
 
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