Thinking of you Poopy. I can't imagine how complicated and difficult this time must be for you. I hope you are coping ok and getting good support
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What's metta, Kerome ?? Well, here's the update. My mother passed last night at 11:33 PM. My son called me this morning to send me a fax. I had to sign for the cremation. I sent the paper back.
Now I find out that my sister wants to sit by the body at the funeral home which will cost $7000 for three days. My son cannot access that kind of money from my mothers accounts. My sister doesn't have the money. But she thinks my son could get it. I don't know if my sister will start yelling at me again. But basically I authorized them to proceed without her input. I am not there and she is, so she may feel she had more of a right to hold things up and demand to sit with the body. My mother made my son in charge of everything legally, not my sister. My Grandfather use to say, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy".
You know, in the good old days, they would just lay Grandma out on the couch in the living room and all the relations would come to the house to pay their respects. Seven thousand dollars to sit with the deceased is really insane.
Gee that is so crazy ok then if your sis wants to do that then she should pay for it no if or buts. That’s just a bit creepy. Money is for the folk left behind what good will that do other than increase the grief.My girlfriend H explained to me that my son does have access to my mother's money. But he thinks seven grand to sit with a body for three days is a selfish request, just for my sister. It's a lot of money and my mother wouldn't have agreed to this. Anyways, it's my son's decision. I'm just worried that she'll see the paperwork I signed and I'm expecting an angry phone call. She's a screamer and a guilt tripper. I can't even think about my mother because all I'm thinking about is my sister yelling at me.
You're so right, Mami, that we should be pulling together. But instead, my sister and son had a huge fight. She had one of her nuclear meltdowns. She was so hysterical that the funeral home director said she could stay with mom's body for only $500; day and night at the funeral home. So my sister got what she wanted. They rewarded bad behavior. She made them drop down from $7000 to $500. Unbelievable. But not before many horrible things were said.Sorry for your loss Poppy
Last thing you need now is agro off your sister, you should be pulling together as a family to support each other.
Thinking of you, take care
Thank you, Mami. I know you are familiar with the wiles of the mind. My sister's mind keeps repeating the unkind things my son said to her. And she wants my support. She pushes me to take her side against my own son, which I won't do. Instead, it is a real matter of diplomacy on my part. A lot of reflective comments on my part, mirroring her pain. Today it was an hour on the phone. I am hoping she will settle down now.Thinking of you during this difficult time Poopy
Hope things have settled down a bit with your sister.