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My mom pretty much lives on the bathtub...



New member
Sep 20, 2010
My mom is a mess. 21 years ago when her dad died, she became alcoholic. When she wasn't drunk, she was sick throwing up, spending most of the day in bed or the bath tub. She'd go through these sick spells that could last up to weeks. When she'd get better, she'd be back to herself - which we think may be bipolar. Then sooner or later she'd start drinking again, and the whole cycle would start over again. So we were stuck with either bipolar mom, drunk mom, depressed mom, or sick mom for many years.

She finally stopped drinking for the most part for about 9 years. She still had issues with her stomach sometimes, but not nearly as frequently or as severe as she did before. Then her mom died 5 years ago. To make a long story short, she had a big estate, and a con artist wanted it. My parents have been in a legal battle with this evil man ever since. They have gone through all their assets and now live paycheck to paycheck. There is no end in sight, as this man's life mission seems to be to make my parents lives a nightmare.

My mom started drinking again within a year after my grandma died, and has gone downhill on these past 5 years. She is now worse than ever. She has spent most of the past seven months in bed or in the bath tub. She claims being in the bath and smoking weed are the only things that make her stomach better. She has days and has even had a couple weeks where she has been better (not 100%, but more functional anyway), but whenever she does get better, she drinks and ends up sick again. She's been seeing a counselor for a few months (Finally! We haven't been able to get her so see one in about 17 years!), and everyone has tried to help or or talk some sense into her. Nothing has worked. She just continues to get worse. She is very stubborn and has a horrible temper by nature, and just about every day she goes into either a rage about her misfortune or goes into this victim mode (which is out of character for her) and gets very depressed and cries about it.

When I was a kid, a part of me actually looked forward to when she'd be sick again, cause when she was sick, she was at least nice. She COULD be nice part of the time when she was well, but the rest of the time, I'd always have to be careful not to piss her off. You piss her off, she makes you regret it. These days, when she's sick, she's not even very nice anymore all the time. She's grouchy and wants everyone to wait on her a lot of the time. She seems like she's not even sick a lot of the time, but just wants to lay in the bathtub all day anyway. She wills herself to get better only when she has to. She's also just stopped caring about many things. Never picks up after herself, she plays stupid/lies about things, doesn't follow through and let's people down, she's done some dishonest random things... This is out of her character, cause my mom was always a strong, honest, dependable woman before.

I do feel very sorry and frustrated for her - both of my parents - for all they've had to go through these past few years, but enough is enough. My dad has managed to cope and find happiness in life, even though this whole ordeal has severely damaged his quality of life as well. My mom just continues to get worse though. I don't think she will ever get better. She refuses to go on any medication, she refuses to go to the dr even when she's so sick she says she thinks she's going to die... I'm surprised she is even seeing a counselor now. It doesn't even appear to be doing her any good. Not yet anyway.

Ps. I keep clearing all this tags, but the site keeps automatically putting some in anyway... I know tags like "paycheck" have nothing to do with this


Well-known member
Aug 17, 2012
The West Country
Ps. I keep clearing all this tags, but the site keeps automatically putting some in anyway... I know tags like "paycheck" have nothing to do with this
I don't quite know why tags automatically get put in, but i've noticed it too.
Sometimes it seems to pick random words in your post and uses them, which is why there were irrelevant words coming up when you tried posting. As I said, I don't quite know how the feature works so not sure if there is a way around it.

Anyway, reading your post, i'm wondering if you've ever considered going to Family Anonymous?
It's for people who have a family member or loved one who is suffering with addiction.
I went to a couple of meetings and found it really good.. there is space to vent and people to support you, but the focus is also on yourself and how you can do things in your own life in order to cope.

I wonder too if you've ever considered counselling? Not that I think you need it or there's anything wrong with you, I just wonder if you've ever thought about having that kind of support. It's not easy at all to live in a family with these kinds of dynamics going on.
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