D
doinnothin
Member
TL;DR my mom (59) has been struggling with severe anxiety and insomnia that evolved into psychotic episodes and manic depression that has lasted about 4 months. She’s lost a lot of weight/hair and refuses medication or any medical help. Unsure of what to do or how to help her.
This all started in October of 2018 when my mom (59) lost her father. The two were extremely close and his passing really affected her. But she was able to distract herself with all of the arraignments, fixing up the house to sell, etc. This also created a massive rift between herself and two of her three brothers. They no longer speak and there’s a good chance they will never reconnect. Through all of this she was experiencing anxiety, but was able to combat it with keeping herself busy.
December of 2019: my mom went back and forth on whether or not she should sell the house. Ultimately she realized it was too much work to keep up and when the house sold everything changed. The death of her father finally hit her and the anxiety started to turn into a form of manic depression. At first it manifested in her sleeping patterns. She typically slept around 6 hours a night, but she began only sleeping around 3 hours every night.
In January of 2020: I decided to move out of the house to move in with my girlfriend. This was another massive change for her to swallow as she and I are very close. She suddenly began to obsessively panic trying to figure out what she was going to do with her life. We spoke daily about this crisis and I tried to get her to see a therapist or life coach. She eventually went to our family physician who suggested therapy and prescribed Xanax to take whenever she felt a serious bout of anxiety coming on.
February 2020 - now: over the last few months her state of mind has dissolved. Her insomnia has gotten to the point where she’s only sleeping a couple hours a night. Her focus and ability to follow conversations began to severely decline. She couldn’t watch TV as it frustrated her too much. We took her to the same family physician who prescribed Zoloft. Despite our efforts, she wouldn’t take it. Over the next few weeks she became increasingly paranoid and manic. After a pretty severe meltdown we got her in to see a psychologist who also recommended Zoloft. She still wouldn’t take it.
My dad then took her to another family physician who prescribed Remeron. She agreed to try it as it would also help her sleep, but would only take half of the suggested dosage as she became paranoid of becoming dependent on medication. This paranoia grew to the point where she would stare at the side-effects for hours on end. She only took the half-dosage of Remeron for a couple weeks and then refused to continue.
We returned to the doctor and he prescribed yet another anti-depressant that she refused to take. It became very clear that this approach wasn’t going anywhere. Her mental state continued to decline as well as her physical appearance. She’s typically thin and athletic. She’s lost a lot of weight and all the muscle definition in her arms and legs is completely gone. She’s basically skin and bone despite eating somewhat normally. On top of that almost half of her hair has fallen out.
The physical side of this has compounded a lot of the problems she was already facing. She now stares at herself in the mirror for hours and won’t leave the house. She can’t even get the mail or go sit in the backyard. This makes any doctor’s appointment or potential therapy sessions impossible. Luckily, with the COVID quarantine she’s been able to keep a low profile with her friends and hasn’t been pressured to see anyone outside the house.
My father has been with her 24/7 through all of this and has managed it the best he can. It’s great that she’s not alone, but at times he wonders if he’s enabling her behavior. It’s a daily occurrence where she will just stand and stare at him for long periods of time until he tries to walk away. She’ll grab his arm and try to get him to stay. She’s become increasingly paranoid that he’s going to abandon her.
He’s hit a breaking point twice. Once he asked me to come to the house where we tried to bargain with her to go to the hospital to get help. My mom was a complete manic wreck and I stood in the yard for 10 hours trying to calm her down and get her in the car to no avail. She was a nurse and was convinced that if we take her to the hospital that she’d be put in a straight jacket. I know she knows this isn’t true.
The second time was a couple weeks ago when my dad called the NAMI crisis line. They sent a mental health professional to the house to assess the situation along with two police officers. My dad had no idea about the police showing up and my mom had another meltdown. She became so worried that the neighbors would see all the cop cars at the house and told them to leave. They somehow talked her down and the mental health professional was able to speak with her. Because she’s not a risk to herself or anyone we cannot legally force her to go to the hospital.
Ultimately they suggested a phone-therapy routine that consists of talking to a therapist, a life coach and a sponsor (somebody who has also experienced similar psychotic episodes / manic depression). And now we are caught in a catch-22 where she doesn’t believe the people on the phone will help because they can’t see her physical state and she won’t go see a therapist because she’s self-conscious of her appearance.
Now she’s just stuck. She hasn’t had any meltdowns recently, but she’s still suffering from crippling anxiety, can barely sleep and has behavioral ticks that won’t go away. She’ll stand at the kitchen table for hours at a time, repeat sentences and basic activities (like texting or watching tv) seem insurmountable. I call her about 2-3 times a week and try to keep the conversation small talk (I do all the talking) because if we start talking about her condition we will go around in circles for hours. I try my best not to get frustrated with her but have slipped a few times.
The timing of all this with the quarantine has been a blessing and a curse. It’s given her time and privacy to try and get through this, but it’s also made everything feel more strange for her. Now as things start to re-open I don’t know what to expect.
Thank you for reading. Any help or suggestions would be very much appreciated.
This all started in October of 2018 when my mom (59) lost her father. The two were extremely close and his passing really affected her. But she was able to distract herself with all of the arraignments, fixing up the house to sell, etc. This also created a massive rift between herself and two of her three brothers. They no longer speak and there’s a good chance they will never reconnect. Through all of this she was experiencing anxiety, but was able to combat it with keeping herself busy.
December of 2019: my mom went back and forth on whether or not she should sell the house. Ultimately she realized it was too much work to keep up and when the house sold everything changed. The death of her father finally hit her and the anxiety started to turn into a form of manic depression. At first it manifested in her sleeping patterns. She typically slept around 6 hours a night, but she began only sleeping around 3 hours every night.
In January of 2020: I decided to move out of the house to move in with my girlfriend. This was another massive change for her to swallow as she and I are very close. She suddenly began to obsessively panic trying to figure out what she was going to do with her life. We spoke daily about this crisis and I tried to get her to see a therapist or life coach. She eventually went to our family physician who suggested therapy and prescribed Xanax to take whenever she felt a serious bout of anxiety coming on.
February 2020 - now: over the last few months her state of mind has dissolved. Her insomnia has gotten to the point where she’s only sleeping a couple hours a night. Her focus and ability to follow conversations began to severely decline. She couldn’t watch TV as it frustrated her too much. We took her to the same family physician who prescribed Zoloft. Despite our efforts, she wouldn’t take it. Over the next few weeks she became increasingly paranoid and manic. After a pretty severe meltdown we got her in to see a psychologist who also recommended Zoloft. She still wouldn’t take it.
My dad then took her to another family physician who prescribed Remeron. She agreed to try it as it would also help her sleep, but would only take half of the suggested dosage as she became paranoid of becoming dependent on medication. This paranoia grew to the point where she would stare at the side-effects for hours on end. She only took the half-dosage of Remeron for a couple weeks and then refused to continue.
We returned to the doctor and he prescribed yet another anti-depressant that she refused to take. It became very clear that this approach wasn’t going anywhere. Her mental state continued to decline as well as her physical appearance. She’s typically thin and athletic. She’s lost a lot of weight and all the muscle definition in her arms and legs is completely gone. She’s basically skin and bone despite eating somewhat normally. On top of that almost half of her hair has fallen out.
The physical side of this has compounded a lot of the problems she was already facing. She now stares at herself in the mirror for hours and won’t leave the house. She can’t even get the mail or go sit in the backyard. This makes any doctor’s appointment or potential therapy sessions impossible. Luckily, with the COVID quarantine she’s been able to keep a low profile with her friends and hasn’t been pressured to see anyone outside the house.
My father has been with her 24/7 through all of this and has managed it the best he can. It’s great that she’s not alone, but at times he wonders if he’s enabling her behavior. It’s a daily occurrence where she will just stand and stare at him for long periods of time until he tries to walk away. She’ll grab his arm and try to get him to stay. She’s become increasingly paranoid that he’s going to abandon her.
He’s hit a breaking point twice. Once he asked me to come to the house where we tried to bargain with her to go to the hospital to get help. My mom was a complete manic wreck and I stood in the yard for 10 hours trying to calm her down and get her in the car to no avail. She was a nurse and was convinced that if we take her to the hospital that she’d be put in a straight jacket. I know she knows this isn’t true.
The second time was a couple weeks ago when my dad called the NAMI crisis line. They sent a mental health professional to the house to assess the situation along with two police officers. My dad had no idea about the police showing up and my mom had another meltdown. She became so worried that the neighbors would see all the cop cars at the house and told them to leave. They somehow talked her down and the mental health professional was able to speak with her. Because she’s not a risk to herself or anyone we cannot legally force her to go to the hospital.
Ultimately they suggested a phone-therapy routine that consists of talking to a therapist, a life coach and a sponsor (somebody who has also experienced similar psychotic episodes / manic depression). And now we are caught in a catch-22 where she doesn’t believe the people on the phone will help because they can’t see her physical state and she won’t go see a therapist because she’s self-conscious of her appearance.
Now she’s just stuck. She hasn’t had any meltdowns recently, but she’s still suffering from crippling anxiety, can barely sleep and has behavioral ticks that won’t go away. She’ll stand at the kitchen table for hours at a time, repeat sentences and basic activities (like texting or watching tv) seem insurmountable. I call her about 2-3 times a week and try to keep the conversation small talk (I do all the talking) because if we start talking about her condition we will go around in circles for hours. I try my best not to get frustrated with her but have slipped a few times.
The timing of all this with the quarantine has been a blessing and a curse. It’s given her time and privacy to try and get through this, but it’s also made everything feel more strange for her. Now as things start to re-open I don’t know what to expect.
Thank you for reading. Any help or suggestions would be very much appreciated.
