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My messed up family

M

MacLeod

Active member
Joined
Oct 29, 2014
Messages
30
If this post isn't in the right place I apologise. Right I'm 27 and I pop round my mums every evening to see if she's ok need anything doing and to see my dogs. My mum has taken in 2 of my sisters kids ( she has 7 kids and basically abandoned all but the youngest 2 partly because of her 13 years younger partner ) one is 18 and he's generealy a nice lad the other who is 15 is a nightmare he steals tobacco of my 64 year old mum ( his nan ) who has numerous illnesses and talks to every like crap especially me. It's got to a point were I don't want go round because of him I've never known such a disrespectful little s*** it gets to a point were I just want to beat the little brat ( I wounldnt though obviously) but I really don't what to do anymore because my mum has had enough as well so she doesn't reenforce rules anymore so he's just getting worse. I mainly just wanted to rant but I'm also curios if any one else has a similier problem or can relate or just a little advice, I don't know what I can do.
 
T

Topcat

Guest
Tricky one.
Kids at 15 seem quite grown up, but they are still kids inside. It must have hurt him somewhat to be abandoned by his mum, and I assume his dad's also not about as he's living with his nan. He could have feelings about his life situation which are adding to his acting out (I know it's not necessarily all to blame, some teens act like a nightmare anyway, but could make things worse).
Do you know how he acts out of the house, at school etc?
Maybe talking to his school? See if they have a school counsellor?
I saw a programme once about difficult teens, and the conclusion was that they need rules enforced, they even want rules themselves - it helps them feel secure in boundaries (even if they do push against them all the time)
Does he have anything to keep him out of trouble in his free time? Things like army cadets/air cadets etc can help teach discipline and build self respect/confidence which might help? Plus keeps them busy and out of trouble a couple of nights a week. My eldest goes to army cadets, she really enjoys it, its cheap, they do loads of camps and activities, all very affordable. Just an idea. Might not be in your area of course.
Sorry. Waffling a bit.
 
M

MacLeod

Active member
Joined
Oct 29, 2014
Messages
30
I appreciate your input a lot thank you. And I completly agree with you that they need rules, boundaries etc. And I agree he most likely has a lot of issues with his mum and dad ( who wouldn't ) he was offered counselling at his school and refused it, he won't talk to anyone about anything.

I think the army cadets would be brilliant but mention anything like that and it's f*** that etc so sadly I can't see that as an option, he's a chav kid ( you can't even understand him much as he uses so much slang ) it's just got to a point ( for me ) were I'd rather him in foster care than abuse my mum like he does but at his age even that wouldn't help. The funny thing is my mum still pops to my sisters every second Friday and to her life is pretty dandy and I hate for it I mean despise her. The only time I see her is if I bump into her and even then 5 seconds is to long.

It just feels like my mum ( and me as a third party ) is stuck between a rock and a hard place without any site of things getting better.

Again thank you a lot for taking your time to read and suggest ideas it's much appreciated.
 
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