My mental problems please advise me?

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Riley1982

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Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
9
#1
Hi I’m not sure if I have mental health issues but I will explain.
I have had to move in with my parents as I can’t afford a place on my own (I am 36) I am embarrassed I’ve got no friends I can move in with they are settled even people my age from school are. I am miserable because I want to settle down. I’ve taken part time courses to try get a better job so I can get a place I have hobbies also trying to meet people through hobbies. I feel down when I think about it.
 
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Keith1

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Oct 9, 2018
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Location
Northern Ireland
#2
Hey Riley,

Certainly not the end of the world buddy. I can emphasise with you as a 35 year old guy noticing everyone is paired off.

Depends on how we communicate this to ourselves. I am learning about this recently. We can decide to look at only negatives when there are soo many positives.

Isn't it great to have parents that love you and a roof over your head when many people in the world dont have either. Assuming you also have your health as well when many people are terminally ill. Gotta keep it positive man, things won't be like this forever and you are already seeking ways to improve your situation so you should be proud of yourself.

Keep the chin up you are stronger than you think
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
1,844
#4
Hi Riley,

It sounds like being able to settle down, get a job and make friends are things that you feel you're missing out on, and it makes sense - at that age, we start to think about having a family! Don't worry if others are doing it before you though - some people do it early, others later, and there's nothing wrong with that. Work hard at your job/job-searching. Staying at home saves you rent money, so set that aside to save for a deposit. Get involved with the hobbies and get to know the people. I don't think you have any mental health issues from I'm seeing - put the effort in, and you'll achieve what you want before you know it!x

Much love <3
 
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Riley1982

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Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
9
#5
Thanks it makes sense. I just feel lonely I used to be shy but getting better as I meet people through my hobbies.
 
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Keith1

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Oct 9, 2018
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Location
Northern Ireland
#6
Hey Riley,

We all go through periods like this but look your situation is improving everyday. Get out of the house, when I was made redundant i struggled with no purpose and feelings of worthlessness for a long time, hobbies are great and routine as well
I can't stress this enough, I went from watching crap on tv until 3am then sleeping to midday to going to the gym every morning before 9am, I'd just do a little cardio, have a hot shower there and have a coffee afterwards. It was a positive way to start my day and these little achievements gave me purpose...

It is hard I know when you have negatives in your head but you have to stay strong and positive and pick yourselve up out of it.

Today I have to drop off my ex girlfriends things at her house she broke it off with me yesterday. I was in love but this last week her strange behaviour was a bad sign. It was only 4 months so not that bad but it still hurt and I felt rejected. It became apparent this last week how many underlying issues she had.

I can say to myself

Whats wrong with me why did this person leave

OR

Thank goodness this toxic relationship has finished so I can now make room for someone who is right for me in my life..

I chose the 2nd option.

Take care of yourself mate
 
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Riley1982

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Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
9
#7
I hope you are ok i send you best wishes.
Thanks for the good advice you did right in choosing the 2nd option take care of yourself.
 
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Keith1

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Joined
Oct 9, 2018
Messages
9
Location
Northern Ireland
#8
I will be ok mate, yesterday she wasn't even home and I felt like id be left out with the blue bin on a Wednesday night ready for Thursday recycle bin collection.

But hey, who knows, if i get down i will become a victim if I get back up again I will become a survivor.
 
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LovesSeafood

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2018
Messages
14
#9
I have met people who are depressed because they try to fit into a mold instead of making their own mold. It is just a matter of perspective. Please do not be offended because this might not be you, I am just thinking aloud. We want to have the perfect job, nice place, good income, great looking gf, adoring friends. We see other people have these, so why not me? And if we don’t we feel miserable. The key here is enjoy and appreciate what you have now, as Keith1 mentioned. Be thankful for whatever you have. I have been to a poor country where some people only eat once a day. No one is depressed because no one is better off and they see it. When they are given free food, they are so full of joy and talk about it for days.

It doesn’t mean you should not aim for something higher. It just means aim for something close enough that you really have a chance to get it. Then aim for the next higher one but while doing this have a great time. Even of your friends are settled down, do not compare yourself to them, just relax and enjoy life. When you become someone who is just so content and happy, you will eventually become a person who is fun to be with and eventually someone will notice.
 

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