My mental health story

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Feb 11, 2019
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#1
My father died in September due to his alcoholism, which as far as I know started when my stepbrother died in a car accident when I was a kid. Dad also dealt with suicidal depression and it seems like he basically drank himself to the point where he got hospitalized, and eventually died. There were many times when I had to deal with him being wasted when I was over at his apartment. At one point when I was a teenager he basically told me he had suicidal thoughts, which I didn't know how to respond to, being a teenager. I also recall one incident where dad told my other (currently living) brother he was feeling suicidal, and my brother went to talk to him. When he came back home there was an argument with my mom and for whatever reason my mom slapped my brother.

On top of that, when he got older my brother majorly screwed up his life, with, of all things, child pornography. Naturally this made things worse and caused many conflicts. My father threatened my brother on two occasions and we had to call the cops the second time. One time my father also threatened me over the phone because I had difficulty forgiving him. I did end up forgiving him, somewhat begrudgingly, because I didn't want more conflicts to occur.

Then, my brother got fed up with mom's alcoholism (there was an argument), and he moved out to live with dad, after he also forgave him and they made up. It didn't last because they had a fight, and dad claimed my brother punched him. So he went back to live with mom, but things got better with him and mom. Then he started going to Church often, got baptized, and is now married. So it seems like he may have turned his life around. As for me, I have a job now and am just living life as best I can. There's a little more that happened with my mother as well, but decided to keep the story shorter.
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hiya. I am sorry for your loss, losing a parent is always really hard. YOu must still be in the grief process and feeling very lost at times. My husband died of alcoholism and I know that it left me feeling that he just gave up on us all. I was quite angry with him for a while, but gradually decided that he did his best, he just got caught in the spiral of drink.

I am pleased that you have a job and have managed to get your own life on an even keel. I hope you can find us all supportive on here.