- Jun 8, 2018
I don't want to write a massive piece on my life because it doesn't really matter does it? All I really want to say is I can't take my life anymore. I'm 23 the only job I'v had was Mcdonalds and I got mocked a fair bit by people I used to go to school with because they had better jobs. I ended up quiting got depressed, I stopped going out as much with friends (18-20 years old) but I still did from time to time and felt like we had fun and I wasen't a burden, I didn't complain about my life to them or anything, yet none speak to me now. I got banned from all the chats we used online, (we used to play games together on the pc) I asked why and I swear to god I'm not lying here to seem like I did nothing wrong, they said nothing. Just nothing. So why am I banned from your chats? Why don't any of you pop up to me on facebook? Why don't I get invited out? All things I don't know till this day. Keep in mind I did everything with these friends since.. Primery school, at least some of them. Now I see them going on holidays and having fun out drinking. It hurt so much.. None of them have replied to me since I got the "you did nothing" Or "I don't know, you did nothing as far as I'm aware" So why the hell are you all ignoring me? Why!! that was 2-3 years ago now. Still not over it. My depression is so bad at this point. My confidance my social life and my work life.. None existent. I have been sitting in my room for the past roughly 3 years. Well not entirely true, I had another group of friends but they also don't speak to me but thats more of they moved on in life and went different ways save one, now.. Its funny, he got depressed too, and I was there for him (my last friend) day after day (bad break up) and now? I message him fancy meeting? Yeah I'll come see you tomorrow. Does he? Nope. There is more to this but I do want to keep it somewhat short, basically I had a crap childhood and that's what caused my depression when I was 18. Now I can't even leave my room. Just the other day I got so frustrated with myself I grabbed something beside me and really hurt my arm. I think I'm going to kill myself soon, so.. yeah.
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