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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

My life story

C

Celexion

New member
Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
3
Location
United states
As a young child I was always happy walking around without a care in the world. I would make friends with just about anybody that would talk to me. I remember one day at school we walked around the track 4 times, walking one mile. So I came home from school and told my dad that walking 4 laps around something was 1 mile. I believe I was about 7 or 8 at the time. So he said then walk around our table 4 times and I didn't want to but he forced me to and in a stern voice said was that a mile. It crushed me so much i cried. Jumping forward to when I was 12 as I can't remember much of my youth. This young girl about 17 years old nocked on the door and told us she was my fathers daughter. I remember she hung around for awhile and one day we were washing my dads truck and I sprayed her with the hose and she told my dad and he yelled at me for it. I believe it was a few months later my dad told us he was leaving to go be with this sister of ours. I broke down and cried for 3 days straight but on the 4th day i stopped crying and havn't cried about anything sense. That was the start of my mental breakdown. My mom was taking me to a therapist im guessing to see the effects the devorce had on me. But going forward a few more months the only friend I had at the time passed away from a heart condition. That was the final straw that broke my mental stability into pieces. Like a piece of glass my mind shattered into fragments. After that I only saw darkness in everyday life. I began to be bullied and school and getting into fights almost everyday. Around 14 years old i stared self harming as a release and when I was 15 I was arrested for having a knife on school grounds. The officer didn't care that it was an accident so he took me to juvie and i spent a week there as he waited till the last minute to file his paperwork. So as apart of my release i had to go to therapy and that lead to seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and insomnia. He ended up prescribing me about 6 medications to manage my emotions and sleep. I was expelled from the school and had to go to a community day school. We had a few different teachers and there was one that i couldn't get along with and knowing the issues i had said that people with depression only have themselves to blame as its easy to be happy and its not a real condition. So the school moved me over to the credit recovery class as they wouldn't allow me to the main campus as i was expelled from a different school district. Continuing in this class one day our teacher was running late so they split us up between two teachers to wait for our own teacher to arive and they put me in the same room as the teacher i have issues with. I sat there on my phone as its not my class and I didn't have anything to do and she told me to give her my phone so i said no your not my teacher and I am in here waiting for my teacher. She said again give me your phone or go to the office so i stood up said f you flipped the desk walked out the door punching the wall on the way out. Now sitting in the office cooling off i felt mild pain in my hand looked down at it and noticed i broke my 5th metacarpal bone and told the lady I was with i think i broke my hand and she asked why so i showed her and she called my mom to pick me up and take me. Needless to say ma wasn't very happy but whatever right. So after that whole accident I was never put around that teacher again. Now 17 years old I had gotten really depressed and self harmed and took an overdose. I dont know why but decided to tell my mom i guess to say goodbye and she came in and took me to the er on the way i passed out and woke up in the hospital. From then on I have been in a constant state of ups and downs. I finished high school and went to school for automotive work and tried living my life. Around 24 i decide my meds wernt working anymore and stopped taking all of them and started to live a little happier. I got in touch with a girl I was friends with in high school and she had a 2 year old son and we eventually started dating and things were going good and we moved in together we both got a traveling job working together and traveled all over California rebuilding stores. We had a daughter together and now we are engaged trying to plan out a wedding. The biggest pain in our relationship is no matter how good she tries to make me feel i just cant share my feeling with her and it makes her pull away every now and then. I dont know if its the anxiety or the fact I grew up being told I cant have feelings or a mix of both.

Sorry for the long story and it jumping around but that is all I can remember of my life.

Thank you to anyone who read my story and gave me a moment of your day.
 
S

Sadface

Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2021
Messages
11
Location
Canada
As a young child I was always happy walking around without a care in the world. I would make friends with just about anybody that would talk to me. I remember one day at school we walked around the track 4 times, walking one mile. So I came home from school and told my dad that walking 4 laps around something was 1 mile. I believe I was about 7 or 8 at the time. So he said then walk around our table 4 times and I didn't want to but he forced me to and in a stern voice said was that a mile. It crushed me so much i cried. Jumping forward to when I was 12 as I can't remember much of my youth. This young girl about 17 years old nocked on the door and told us she was my fathers daughter. I remember she hung around for awhile and one day we were washing my dads truck and I sprayed her with the hose and she told my dad and he yelled at me for it. I believe it was a few months later my dad told us he was leaving to go be with this sister of ours. I broke down and cried for 3 days straight but on the 4th day i stopped crying and havn't cried about anything sense. That was the start of my mental breakdown. My mom was taking me to a therapist im guessing to see the effects the devorce had on me. But going forward a few more months the only friend I had at the time passed away from a heart condition. That was the final straw that broke my mental stability into pieces. Like a piece of glass my mind shattered into fragments. After that I only saw darkness in everyday life. I began to be bullied and school and getting into fights almost everyday. Around 14 years old i stared self harming as a release and when I was 15 I was arrested for having a knife on school grounds. The officer didn't care that it was an accident so he took me to juvie and i spent a week there as he waited till the last minute to file his paperwork. So as apart of my release i had to go to therapy and that lead to seeing a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and insomnia. He ended up prescribing me about 6 medications to manage my emotions and sleep. I was expelled from the school and had to go to a community day school. We had a few different teachers and there was one that i couldn't get along with and knowing the issues i had said that people with depression only have themselves to blame as its easy to be happy and its not a real condition. So the school moved me over to the credit recovery class as they wouldn't allow me to the main campus as i was expelled from a different school district. Continuing in this class one day our teacher was running late so they split us up between two teachers to wait for our own teacher to arive and they put me in the same room as the teacher i have issues with. I sat there on my phone as its not my class and I didn't have anything to do and she told me to give her my phone so i said no your not my teacher and I am in here waiting for my teacher. She said again give me your phone or go to the office so i stood up said f you flipped the desk walked out the door punching the wall on the way out. Now sitting in the office cooling off i felt mild pain in my hand looked down at it and noticed i broke my 5th metacarpal bone and told the lady I was with i think i broke my hand and she asked why so i showed her and she called my mom to pick me up and take me. Needless to say ma wasn't very happy but whatever right. So after that whole accident I was never put around that teacher again. Now 17 years old I had gotten really depressed and self harmed and took an overdose. I dont know why but decided to tell my mom i guess to say goodbye and she came in and took me to the er on the way i passed out and woke up in the hospital. From then on I have been in a constant state of ups and downs. I finished high school and went to school for automotive work and tried living my life. Around 24 i decide my meds wernt working anymore and stopped taking all of them and started to live a little happier. I got in touch with a girl I was friends with in high school and she had a 2 year old son and we eventually started dating and things were going good and we moved in together we both got a traveling job working together and traveled all over California rebuilding stores. We had a daughter together and now we are engaged trying to plan out a wedding. The biggest pain in our relationship is no matter how good she tries to make me feel i just cant share my feeling with her and it makes her pull away every now and then. I dont know if its the anxiety or the fact I grew up being told I cant have feelings or a mix of both.

Sorry for the long story and it jumping around but that is all I can remember of my life.

Thank you to anyone who read my story and gave me a moment of your day.
Wow, I’m sorry for the crappy life you have had to deal with. No one should be treated this way. No one. Some people should not have children like your father. Pretty poor excuse for a man to treat his child like that. If possible focus on what you have now. It sounds really good. You know the mistakes your own dad made so you can avoid those and be the best you can be. My mom kicked me out of the house when I was just 14 years old so I found foster homes for myself from friends Until I turned 18 and then I went to work and took care of myself. It’s hard for a girl at such a young age but I managed. I forgave my mom when I got older and that released me to heal. Life is short. You sound like you are on the right track now though. God bless you.
 
Z

ZechariahElijah

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
149
Location
United States
The biggest pain in our relationship is no matter how good she tries to make me feel i just cant share my feeling with her and it makes her pull away every now and then.
I can relate to this. My wife and I love each other, but my depression often leaves us feeling far apart. A small thank you to let her know I appreciate her care goes a long way.
Thanks for sharing your story.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,176
Location
USA
You have a lot bottled up inside you that needs a controlled release. Find a therapist you're comfortable with and start unloading some of that stuff. If you leave it in there, it festers and comes out in bad ways-like being unable to share feelings with your spouse. You need to air out your issues, trust me you'll feel better.
 
Mazikeen

Mazikeen

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2021
Messages
19
Location
39563
Wow, I’m sorry for the crappy life you have had to deal with. No one should be treated this way. No one. Some people should not have children like your father. Pretty poor excuse for a man to treat his child like that. If possible focus on what you have now. It sounds really good. You know the mistakes your own dad made so you can avoid those and be the best you can be. My mom kicked me out of the house when I was just 14 years old so I found foster homes for myself from friends Until I turned 18 and then I went to work and took care of myself. It’s hard for a girl at such a young age but I managed. I forgave my mom when I got older and that released me to heal. Life is short. You sound like you are on the right track now though. God bless you.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I have bipolar and insomnia as well. I was kicked out at 15 and had to grow up earlier than expected. My dad was an alcoholic and very hurtful sometimes. My mother has bipolar as well so we didn't get along. Lots of therapy and the right medication has helped me tremendously. I now have a relationship with my parents. Although it is rocky at times. Give therapy a try. From experience I know it can take several different trys to get the medications right for you.
 
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