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My life stopped at 17

M

matthewxyz

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Joined
Mar 2, 2020
Messages
14
Location
UK
My memory is awful so I’m trying to piece together my past and pull some dates together.. what I realised is my life essentially stopped at 17 (2007). I know I still went out with “friends” and used alcohol and drugs to numb my sadness, depression and lack of motivation, but in terms of my life on paper, education etc.. 3 months into 17 is when it stops and it doesn’t start again until I was 21 (2011)

17 is so young.. SO young. Why wasn’t anyone there to save me? I just sunk further and further into depression until I stopped leaving my house age 18 (2008) I spent all of 18 and 19 trapped in my house, not leaving my room, abusing myself with eating disorders hoping it would kill me. I tried to on my 20th birthday (2010). I didn’t want to go into my 20’s in the state that I was in..

Now I’m turning 30 this year and I’m still hurt and broken, albeit in a better situation than back then, but I can’t let go of all the pain I endured back then and I still don’t know why no one thought to save that 17 year old kid I was and put him on the right track.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
6,007
Location
Nashua NH
My memory is awful so I’m trying to piece together my past and pull some dates together.. what I realised is my life essentially stopped at 17 (2007). I know I still went out with “friends” and used alcohol and drugs to numb my sadness, depression and lack of motivation, but in terms of my life on paper, education etc.. 3 months into 17 is when it stops and it doesn’t start again until I was 21 (2011)

17 is so young.. SO young. Why wasn’t anyone there to save me? I just sunk further and further into depression until I stopped leaving my house age 18 (2008) I spent all of 18 and 19 trapped in my house, not leaving my room, abusing myself with eating disorders hoping it would kill me. I tried to on my 20th birthday (2010). I didn’t want to go into my 20’s in the state that I was in..

Now I’m turning 30 this year and I’m still hurt and broken, albeit in a better situation than back then, but I can’t let go of all the pain I endured back then and I still don’t know why no one thought to save that 17 year old kid I was and put him on the right track.
Glad you made it through the low times.
My parents didn’t understand what I was going through when I had my first depression. They thought that with enough rest I would snap out it. I also put on quite a bit of weight during this time.
People are doing the best they can usually.
Especially if they have no experience with mental illness it is hard for people to diagnose it or to clearly see that s person needs help when they need it. Maybe like my parents they thought it was just a phase. The only way to know for sure is to ask them. My parents and I have discussed this period of my life many times now and I am at peace.
 
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