My life falling apart every second...

[Angels]

So Ive been feeling really physically tired. after the overdose incident, being rushed off my feet with psychologists, key workers, therapists, early intervention team ... as well as ajusting to my new meds. its all just crazy and i can feel it gathering up and weighing me down.
Ive not been sleeping alot at all because when i do finally get to sleep i have nightmares.
As im only 15, ive never been on any type of medication to do with mental health... being slapped up with rispersiodone isnt very plesant.. i get alot of headaches.
I just dont know if i want to carry all this on. its all one huge burden. i think of my life as go to school >> come home >> sleep (which i cant even do... so its just one big void) .. I have some days off school because im in too much pain physically and mentally. im just so tired all of my joints ache. I cant leave the house because of my anxiety.
Ive started seeing things in my room too. ( i know im going on, but i guess i just need to talk about it) My parents say there their for me but there not. im getting very paraniod. i just want to curl up and sleep and never ever wake up from this endless nightmare. my lifes been really screwed up.
Pfft i though this year was going to be a good new year.. its been the worst one of my life.
My meds dont work, i cant stand seeing so many people that cant actually help me, i hate talking about lots of things but i have to, i have to put on an act all the time when i do go out in public (and in school which is the worst) because i dont want to be labeled as some sort of 'crazy person' because people my age and all other teenagers can just be so cruel. im out of place.
i want to belong. it will never happen. im getting worse every single day.

what to do next.. hopefully i will find out soon enough
Thanks for reading
/sigh

 

[DELATEXT]

It is terrible to be burdened so young with this amount of pressure,
you are not crazy just ill, I was very saddened to hear you over dosed ??
The Medics are trying to help you but I can understand how you feel overwhelmed by it all.
Try talking to them and express your worries and fears so that they can help you ??
As for the Bullies, there are always curs who will iry to inflict pain if you let them ??
You need to progress slowly and effectively towards getting to a better place within yourself ??

 

[BORTU]

Hi Angels,

Read your story, so sorry. But as DELATEXT says talk to your carers and hang in there. It CAN get better. I was bullied and picked on in school because I dared to be different. You are yourself, a very special person. We all wish you good feelings.

 

[DELATEXT]

Wishing you a continued recovery and remember you are special, so take it easy and rest !!

 

[Angels]

Thanks everyone, Things are just getting hard and i guess i dont want it. but i just dont see myself progressing. il try though and see what happens. people that feel the need to bully others are just not worth my time. I really apprechiate the kind words!!
xxxx hannah xx

 

[Sophie]

Hi Angels,
just read your post, my heart goes out to you. It is terrible suffering from depression, but even worse at your age. I know you wont believe this, but you will come through all of this, and be stronger. When I had depression, I was very paranoid and made my husbands life hell, it is another symptom of depression. Please don't think about overdosing, you are loved by so many people. Keep posting on here, and if you need to ask anything, I'm sure someone will try to help you.