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My husband damage me so bad How do I get me back?

Tambam2021

Tambam2021

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Los angeles
Emotionally physically mentally I put up with it for 8 years I thought by showing him how much I love him things will change they just got worse I'm no longer with him moving on with my life my self-esteem is so low all I do is cry. Because I feel like I'm not worth anything can I do better than that all I do is cry and put myself down nobody wants me nobody wants to be around me but that's not true I have a boyfriend and I'm pushing him away cuz I don't want to please please help me tell me something
 
kimidare

kimidare

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Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
217
Location
France
Your life is important. You surely have people who care about you. Is your current boyfriend nice with you ?

Crying is to externalize all that you have accumulated before, it s okay to cry.
You have successfully break up with your ex husband. Living with a loved one should not be painful, you can have a healthy relationship.

Can you try to find some things you like to do or qualities ?
Writing positive things about you or about your day can help you remember that the world is not just dark.

By example it can be simple things like for me today :
I took a bath
I listened a good unknown music
I took a day off
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
21,703
Location
England
Hi,
Well done for moving on with your life, you are very brave.
Have you sought out any therapy/counselling etc?
Hugs
 
Vikingchild

Vikingchild

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Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
49
Location
Liverpool
Now u have moved on u first need to find a way to love yourself again. Try doing the things that made u happy b4 he broke u. Once u start to feel good about yourself u will be able to find the strength and confidence to be the person u wish to be. Right now u are a blank canvas so pair the pic u wish everyone to see
 
Tambam2021

Tambam2021

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Los angeles
Thank you everyone has reached out to me I don't know what to do I will be going to visit my brother first Super Bowl I'm going to see my nieces and nephews I'm going to try and have a good time I thank you all if this isn't the last that you perform me I've been told by many that I am a good person with a kind heart I know this but I'm having a hard time. Believing it I want to get thank you all
 
Tambam2021

Tambam2021

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
6
Location
Los angeles
Thank you everyone has reached out to me I don't know what to do I will be going to visit my brother first Super Bowl I'm going to see my nieces and nephews I'm going to try and have a good time I thank you all if this isn't the last that you perform me I've been told by many that I am a good person with a kind heart I know this but I'm having a hard time. Believing it I want to get thank you all
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💗💗💗💗💗💗
 
T

ThinkingOfAUserName

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
59
Location
Mexico
Hello, 8 years of abuse is such a long time, it will take a long time to get fully well. But the worst is over, and not many people have the guts to put an end to it. Abuse can break a person in such ways that in most cases, a good therapist is needed to help undo all the damage done in a person's mind. So I strongly suggest you get a good therapist with experience in abuse cases.

Things that have helped me asides from therapy:

1) Get in touch with estranged friends, think of people you stopped seeing because you were in a relationship. Old friends and new friends, build a strong net of support, and always have at hand one friend who you can reach out to at any time.

2) Do you have hobbies and interests that you've not pursued in a long time? Drawing, swimming, sewing, cooking, jigsaw puzzles, songs you might not have listened to in 10 years, anything, as small as it may seen, start doing it again.

The goal of these two things is to start regaining certain aspects of your life that may seem lost at the moment. People, interests, things that you enjoy and make you feel good and remind you who you used to be before the bad relationship.

3) Get a journal, maybe 2, in one you can write everything you feel, start putting some order into those thoughts so when you go to therapy, you start writting the process and trying to make some sense. In a year you will be amazed at how much you have improved.

4) In the other journal, you can start writting things you feel grateful about. You might not feel like you have much to write about in the beginning, but page one could be that you are grateful for finally being free. Write down the date when you separated. Then start with little things, being grateful for an amazing cup of coffee or the cookies your friend brought you, the good conversation, the funny movie that made you feel ok for 1 1/2 hours, make a habit of saying thank you and soon you will start appreciating the bigger things in life, for example, your boyfriend, your friends, your freedom, your health, your life. You will suddenly discover that your life is much more than a bad man. So much more.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
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