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My husband believes the voices and doesn't think anything is wrong.

L

LegoLand

Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Berkshire
How can I help him?
The strategies on here are great if you accept you are hearing voices, but what if you don't accept you are hearing them or that there is anything wrong?
What if his behavior is getting erratic but he does not believe it. How can an outsider (family member, wife in my case) help?
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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Sheffiield
Quoted from your introduction.
Hi, I'm new here and looking for guidance, help, support as my husband is hearing voices and believes our friends of many years are out to harm him. This has been brought about by a breakdown in our marriage as we are in the throws of divorce.
His behaviour is getting worse - attacking our friends, and more recently our friends mother. All reported to police but no action being taken.
Not sure what I can do, but feeling really helpless and afraid of what might happen next.
If he's a danger to others I don't see why the police won't help you get him sectioned, when I was similar to this my family called an ambulance and of course the police came out as well to make sure I wasn't going to cause the two men in the ambulance any trouble which is standard procedure as far as I'm aware.

I suppose if I was kicking up a fuss and a threat I'd have been taken to the hospital in the back of the police car instead of the ambulance.

When I got to the hospital I refused to talk to two different women so eventually they put me in a room with three male doctors and they gave me an ultimatum to either volunteer to be on their ward for four days or be sectioned for up to a month. I volunteered but I spent a total of nine days on the ward because they only did assessments once a week on Mondays which they neglected to tell me.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,249
Location
Nashua NH
How can I help him?
The strategies on here are great if you accept you are hearing voices, but what if you don't accept you are hearing them or that there is anything wrong?
What if his behavior is getting erratic but he does not believe it. How can an outsider (family member, wife in my case) help?
Hello Legoland and welcome. Sadly there is not much someone in your position can do to help your loved one. Unless he poses an immediate threat to the safety of himself or others he can refuse treatment if he does not believe that there is a need. I would continue to talk about your concerns with him and possibly call his doctor to describe what is going on and share your concerns with him. But short of that your husband is an adult and considered to be in control of his own welfare. Should he become a harm to himself
or others the police may decide to step in and work to have him committed. But if he is more or less harmless but just very ill at the moment there is not much you or anyone else can do until then. It’s a frustration that you share with many other people with loved ones who are struggling with mental health issues but do not see it. I hope you will find some comfort here. xo, j
 
L

LegoLand

Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Berkshire
Hello Legoland and welcome. Sadly there is not much someone in your position can do to help your loved one. Unless he poses an immediate threat to the safety of himself or others he can refuse treatment if he does not believe that there is a need. I would continue to talk about your concerns with him and possibly call his doctor to describe what is going on and share your concerns with him. But short of that your husband is an adult and considered to be in control of his own welfare. Should he become a harm to himself
or others the police may decide to step in and work to have him committed. But if he is more or less harmless but just very ill at the moment there is not much you or anyone else can do until then. It’s a frustration that you share with many other people with loved ones who are struggling with mental health issues but do not see it. I hope you will find some comfort here. xo, j
Thank you Jess. It is very distressing and the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming and very stressful. I've tried all you have mentioned and the outcome is exactly as you have mentioned. No-one can help....yes he is an adult and so far able to display he is OK to the authorities.
So we sit and wait....unfortunately. Thank you again for your reply
 
L

LegoLand

Member
Joined
Aug 31, 2020
Messages
6
Location
Berkshire
Quoted from your introduction.

If he's a danger to others I don't see why the police won't help you get him sectioned, when I was similar to this my family called an ambulance and of course the police came out as well to make sure I wasn't going to cause the two men in the ambulance any trouble which is standard procedure as far as I'm aware.

I suppose if I was kicking up a fuss and a threat I'd have been taken to the hospital in the back of the police car instead of the ambulance.

When I got to the hospital I refused to talk to two different women so eventually they put me in a room with three male doctors and they gave me an ultimatum to either volunteer to be on their ward for four days or be sectioned for up to a month. I volunteered but I spent a total of nine days on the ward because they only did assessments once a week on Mondays which they neglected to tell me.
Thank you for your reply NWiddi. Following each incident the police are called but my husband has been able to talk himself out of any arrest and doe not show any signs of having any mental health issues or distress. The evidence being gathered to call the police is not enough therefore in a catch 22 situation. Again very distressing for all involved, including him. Thanks again
 
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