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My head is playing games with me...

DiddyKong

DiddyKong

Active member
Joined
Feb 9, 2015
Messages
39
Location
Brisbane, Australia
Tonight she came knocking… She presented me with unwanted thoughts and as I felt an onslaught of various negativity clouding the clear and bright sky of my mind, I knew that this was a test… My mind was trying to take over, attempting to shackle me in the dark dungeon of depression, being derogatory, diminishing and dismissive, I knew I couldn't let her take over… Her shear beauty of helplessness, the reassuring need to be rescued alongside the simplicity of giving up, all such magnificent models of her structure that now lays inside my brain...

This is how I felt last night, I'm trying a few things to keep my mind at ease and distracted at the moment... Mainly self talk and paying attention to one task at a time... I feel like I'm slowly being dragged down though, it feels inevitable, yet I know otherwise... My mind has taken logic and flipped it, I know what is real, but my mind wants to tell me otherwise... I feel like lying down, going to sleep and forgetting everything, but I know that wont help... Why my mind has me a state of turmoil, I do not know, whether or not I can beat this, I do not know... I want someone to talk to, to tell me everything is going to be alright, but my mind tells me it's a sign of weakness... My mind says one thing, then logic takes over, after the fight logic triumphs doesn't it? Does the truth always reveal itself in the end? Until then my head will just keep fighting right? Although I try to take control, I lose the hold and can't help but fold... :cry:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Hey, how are things now?
I don't think it's weak to want someone to talk to at all. :hug:
I think it's human to want that comfort of someone being there for us and reassurance that things will right themselves in the end.
Do you have people in real life that you could talk to but your thoughts are stopping you, or are you genuinely in a position where you don't have anybody to reach out to?
 
DiddyKong

DiddyKong

Active member
Joined
Feb 9, 2015
Messages
39
Location
Brisbane, Australia
Thanks Somerset...

I was able to overcome my racing thoughts eventually.
I reached out to a friend who was super comforting, she even rang me later on at night to make sure I was doing alright...
Although my head smashes me with unwarranted thoughts about others, which makes it difficult to even write on this forum, I managed...
I'm lucky to have a network that I can reach out to, I know there are so many people out there that don't have that or find it even harder to reach out... (I feel for them all)...
You're right though, people do need that reassurance from time to time, we all look for that affirmation of how everything will be alright or that we are doing a good job etc...

Thanks again Somerset...
 
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