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My gp wont wont prescribe me a medication -THAT WORKS- and i know that it DOES- because i TRIED IT!

O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
Hello, I'm curious as to whether or not anyone else can relate to this predicament.
This is where I think I'm at with regards to my condition:
Personality disorder
Cluster 'B'
Borderline personality disorder
Sub group ' self destructing.
I wasn't aware of my condition until my mid-thirties.
When I approached my doctors for help ,every time all they would do was have a look in their drug bible (mims) and just pull one out at random and tell me "see how you get on with this"...
PROZAC-MIRTAZAPINE-SEROXAT-CITALOPRAM and a whole host of other "snake-oils"..

Disillusioned with this and constantly feeling worse, usually accompanied by feeling nauseous and tired , with an added 'chemical hangover ', i became more hopeless. which accentuated my predicament in an obviously negative manner.
Fast forward 10-15 years, I started to look into serotonin and dopamine levels- because I've used "recreational drugs " on and off, since about 8years old.
And apparently certain drugs I.e. cocaine and other's can actually Deplete the supplies of dopamine etc in your brain, so you 'run-out' of your feel good happy medicine. Permanently.
Turns out I was barking up the wrong chemical trees , so to speak.
This is where an unlikely source of 'saviour has come into play '
Ladies and gentlemen, (accompanied by drum-rolls), let me introduce you to!:
GABAPENTINE (cheers,whistling and general hat tossing ensues from me !)
Yes I know this is a pharmacutical company brand name, and there are other pharmacological variants etc but I mention GABAPENTINE, as it's the one I tried.

Within less than an hour I felt transformed.
I felt almost human. I remember saying out loud to my self " so this is what normal feels like!" In a state of shock and elation- then broke down in tears and cried,briefly.
I think they were tears of joy. The normal route for me is a barrage of persistent and relentless emotionally charged triggers that get me past the point of no return, then I crack, and bawl uncontrollably like a strung out toddler.
So on the strength of my medical revelation I went to see my doctor.
She was not even willing to hear me out.
Her tone was patronising-stigmatic ( she told me 'they have a high street value')
I didn't want to sell them-they were to make me better.
She also stated in these exact words
"This is what I've never got about you Jason- you never seem to help yourself!"
This was her reply to my question about re-referal to the local drug and addiction centre.
I missed the original appointment due to mentally and physically at the time ,not being happy enough in my head to leave my house, let alone travelling a round trip of 10 miles on public transport, to said appointment.
A rage kicked in and I said " that was NOT the right thing to say to me!"
With that she started fidgeting under her desk, I'd obviously rattled her with my response and I left ,feeling worse than when I'd first entered with a hope of some positive outcome.
I later thought back about the drug appointment and came to the conclusion that
What she was ACTUALLY doing UNDER the desk was trying to locate the PANIC BUTTON.
any thoughts or suggestions about this, preferably positive would be greatly appreciated.
J
 
W

WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
267
Location
UK
A few points here that you may not want to hear but I will try the best I can! I will not fragilise you and tell you how awful she was, I wasn't there.

Firstly (at least in the UK) doctors must adhere to strict guidelines on what they can and cannot prescribe. I do not believe there is an indication for gabapentin with BPD and the doctor can only prescribe if there is an indication. The fact is whilst it may work for you, there is not a strong evidence base that it has efficacy with BPD people. I have worked with many psychiatrists over the years who wouldn't even consider gabapentin as a treatment for BPD. It simply doesn't happen that way. I imagine she didn't handle the conversation particularly effectively and this lead to feelings that were intense. That is definitely something she needs to work on but we also own our own emotional response to people not doing as we want.

How did you get hold of gabapentin in the first place? If someone came to me and said they had tried a drug and it was great for them I would first be asking this question. This type of behaviour inevitably leads doctors to raise an eyebrow.

Your behaviour wasn't acceptable and I won't validate that at all. If you want something that works for you then you need to explain why you think it would be helpful. If someone doesn't want to hear it then you find other ways to move through it. I can see you are frustrated and can understand why you would be. That said, grasping for a drug to cure your ills is unlikely to be all that helpful - just moving from a non-prescribed medication to a prescribed one doesn't solve the problem. It just dampens it down.

I am intrigued as to why you asked for "positive" responses. Is it that you can't tolerate being told you are wrong? Is it because other people are bowled over by your behaviour in daily life and you are used to behaving in this way to get your needs met? I am not making any assumptions here. I will say that if you want positivity you are unlikely to learn and move forward and subsequently feel better. If you want people to say how awful you must feel then that is fine too, but that doesn't make you change and change is what makes things more tolerable.

The fact is there is no known medication that has a proven efficacy for BPD. You may treat comorbidities with medications but the fact is DBT, MBT or Compassion Focused Therapy are the main treatment options for BPD. Not medications.

As always I hope you take my comments in good faith.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,202
Location
London, ON
Dude - it's an anti-seizure drug, and BPD doesn't come with seizures. Plus, it can act as an euphoric, so of course you felt better - you were stoned.

I'd be pretty happy with life if I had access to euphorics as well.

I agree with Whysoserious, GABAPENTINE isn't something you should be taking.

Basically - this is just another self-destructive behaviour you've tried to justify because "it's a cure".

Rather than looking for a magic drug that makes you happy, you need to learn better self-control.
 
O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
A few points here that you may not want to hear but I will try the best I can! I will not fragilise you and tell you how awful she was, I wasn't there.

Firstly (at least in the UK) doctors must adhere to strict guidelines on what they can and cannot prescribe. I do not believe there is an indication for gabapentin with BPD and the doctor can only prescribe if there is an indication. The fact is whilst it may work for you, there is not a strong evidence base that it has efficacy with BPD people. I have worked with many psychiatrists over the years who wouldn't even consider gabapentin as a treatment for BPD. It simply doesn't happen that way. I imagine she didn't handle the conversation particularly effectively and this lead to feelings that were intense. That is definitely something she needs to work on but we also own our own emotional response to people not doing as we want.

How did you get hold of gabapentin in the first place? If someone came to me and said they had tried a drug and it was great for them I would first be asking this question. This type of behaviour inevitably leads doctors to raise an eyebrow.

Your behaviour wasn't acceptable and I won't validate that at all. If you want something that works for you then you need to explain why you think it would be helpful. If someone doesn't want to hear it then you find other ways to move through it. I can see you are frustrated and can understand why you would be. That said, grasping for a drug to cure your ills is unlikely to be all that helpful - just moving from a non-prescribed medication to a prescribed one doesn't solve the problem. It just dampens it down.

I am intrigued as to why you asked for "positive" responses. Is it that you can't tolerate being told you are wrong? Is it because other people are bowled over by your behaviour in daily life and you are used to behaving in this way to get your needs met? I am not making any assumptions here. I will say that if you want positivity you are unlikely to learn and move forward and subsequently feel better. If you want people to say how awful you must feel then that is fine too, but that doesn't make you change and change is what makes things more tolerable.

The fact is there is no known medication that has a proven efficacy for BPD. You may treat comorbidities with medications but the fact is DBT, MBT or Compassion Focused Therapy are the main treatment options for BPD. Not medications.

As always I hope you take my comments in good faith.
To clarify. Yes it is an anti-seizure medication.
And it is and has been prescribed by GPS " off label " to help alleviate- NOT CURE certain SYMPTOMS I.e. IMPULSIVITY. by dampening down and possibly MOMENTARILY DELAYING the way the Neuro receptors / transmitters fire off.
I have had CBT, was doing ok,then they shut down the hospital.
Started DBT, but couldn't bond or trust the therapist, which in order to have ANY benefit from therapy, predominantly talking therapies is essential from the onset. I even paid privately, for hypnotherapy, which was worth every penny of the £65 an hour price tag.
Then after a redundancy and a drop in wage of close to £700 Per month, I simply couldn't afford it.
With regards to classification in the UK.
It's been reclassified in America as a z list drug- because of its enhancing effects when taken with opiates. I.e. HEROIN.
Addicts cottoned onto this and now it's a red flag drug in certain circles, due to the abuse.
I do not claim to hold any qualifications etc or fully understand how certain drugs work for some and not for other's.
Even so called professional's don't fully understand how it helps ( the gaba amino acid). They don't even know how it's absorbed in the body,as in BBB route or absorbed through a gastric synthesis.
The fact that I take amphetamine and have actively sought help for help leads me to this
Why would I ask for something that on the drug scale is the total polar opposite of opiates, as in uppers and downers?
Sleeping to much, but never getting proper sleep, just a diluted version of it has been linked to part of the issues with personality disorders..fact.
Gaba helps to promote quality, battery charging sleep.
I hope that clarifies my point.
 
O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
Dude - it's an anti-seizure drug, and BPD doesn't come with seizures. Plus, it can act as an euphoric, so of course you felt better - you were stoned.

I'd be pretty happy with life if I had access to euphorics as well.

I agree with Whysoserious, GABAPENTINE isn't something you should be taking.

Basically - this is just another self-destructive behaviour you've tried to justify because "it's a cure".

Rather than looking for a magic drug that makes you happy, you need to learn better self-control.
Dood I don't take drugs to get " off my head". I had a very low dosage reccomended by a nhs site.
I was not floating about or having cups of tea with blue monkeys.
Adderall- Ritalin etc for adhd gets it's pharmaceutical roots from an amphetamine type drug.
I took amphetamine just so I could alleviate social anxiety issues and function.
If I wanted to abuse GABAPENTINE and live in the realms of a opium den
I'd go and score some smack and " MONG OUT".
NO thanks ,not for me. I'm not that way inclined.
Anyways cheers DUUUD.
Misguided preconceptions of people and their motives are what fuels stigma-ignorance as well.
As people say
To assume something makes an ass out of u and me.(ass-u-me.)
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,202
Location
London, ON
You're right - by no means should I have assumed that when you wrote you talked to your GP AFTER trying it and he turned you down, that you weren't taking it supervised.

Why would I ask for something that on the drug scale is the total polar opposite of opiates, as in uppers and downers?
Why wouldn't you? I liked both opiates and coke, yet they are opposites.

Again - its an euphoric, so, yeah, you will feel better. PAinkillers made my depression and anxiety feel better too, even in tiny doses.

More info on it - Gabapentin for Depression, Mania, and Anxiety

I have to ask, if your GP didn't give it to you, how did you get it?
 
O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
Hello
At a reasonable dosage of 600 mg per day, that worked for me.
I'm not interested in 'boshin' handfuls and getting off my face.
It started life in America as a painkiller.
Then they realised it helped with a whole host of other things.
And did have other things going for it for those who like opiates ,as in intensifying the euphoric effects of the h Brown, barbs etc.
Stims are what I take .
They motivate me, and it helps.
I tried it once at 20 - felt sick and tired-never tried it again.
My dad o.d on it when I was 18.
Sort of took part of the appeal away from me .
Cheers.
 
L

Lavendergirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
109
Location
London
A few points here that you may not want to hear but I will try the best I can! I will not fragilise you and tell you how awful she was, I wasn't there.

Firstly (at least in the UK) doctors must adhere to strict guidelines on what they can and cannot prescribe. I do not believe there is an indication for gabapentin with BPD and the doctor can only prescribe if there is an indication. The fact is whilst it may work for you, there is not a strong evidence base that it has efficacy with BPD people. I have worked with many psychiatrists over the years who wouldn't even consider gabapentin as a treatment for BPD. It simply doesn't happen that way. I imagine she didn't handle the conversation particularly effectively and this lead to feelings that were intense. That is definitely something she needs to work on but we also own our own emotional response to people not doing as we want.

How did you get hold of gabapentin in the first place? If someone came to me and said they had tried a drug and it was great for them I would first be asking this question. This type of behaviour inevitably leads doctors to raise an eyebrow.

Your behaviour wasn't acceptable and I won't validate that at all. If you want something that works for you then you need to explain why you think it would be helpful. If someone doesn't want to hear it then you find other ways to move through it. I can see you are frustrated and can understand why you would be. That said, grasping for a drug to cure your ills is unlikely to be all that helpful - just moving from a non-prescribed medication to a prescribed one doesn't solve the problem. It just dampens it down.

I am intrigued as to why you asked for "positive" responses. Is it that you can't tolerate being told you are wrong? Is it because other people are bowled over by your behaviour in daily life and you are used to behaving in this way to get your needs met? I am not making any assumptions here. I will say that if you want positivity you are unlikely to learn and move forward and subsequently feel better. If you want people to say how awful you must feel then that is fine too, but that doesn't make you change and change is what makes things more tolerable.

The fact is there is no known medication that has a proven efficacy for BPD. You may treat comorbidities with medications but the fact is DBT, MBT or Compassion Focused Therapy are the main treatment options for BPD. Not medications.

As always I hope you take my comments in good faith.
Hi just as a matter of interest what are your thoughts on taking pregabalin 300mg twice daily for bpd?
 
O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
Hello after a couple of conversations I've had to date on this site,and knowing that my " moral-compass " is once again under scrutiny, can you give me a little bit of background as to who I'm actually corresponding with?
Cos I'm tired of being viewed as controlling- malicious, manipulative, and throwing my toys around to get what I want.
All my triggers and aggressive outbursts have NEVER involved physical violence on other's. I turn all that inwards.
So yeah, as I don't really want another moral or ethical 'witch-hunt ' at the mo '
A little bit about yourself would be greatly appreciated.
And with my hand on my heart, I WILL NOT BE AS JUDGEMENTAL AS OTHER'S ARE FROM THEIR GRANDIOSE IVORY TOWERS.
Many thanks
J
 
W

WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
267
Location
UK
Hi just as a matter of interest what are your thoughts on taking pregabalin 300mg twice daily for bpd?
For bpd? It's not licensed for it. As an anti anxiety pill it's good but it's also highly addictive which is why it's a controlled drug I'm the UK. It depends what you want, to use a potentially dangerous drug to cope day to day or not. All medications are dangerous and I am not anti prescribed medications IF people know the risk v benefits. I've taken an anti depressant for years and found them helpful. But I know it may have longer term effects like weight gain if I'm not careful.
 
W

WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
267
Location
UK
Hello after a couple of conversations I've had to date on this site,and knowing that my " moral-compass " is once again under scrutiny, can you give me a little bit of background as to who I'm actually corresponding with?
Cos I'm tired of being viewed as controlling- malicious, manipulative, and throwing my toys around to get what I want.
All my triggers and aggressive outbursts have NEVER involved physical violence on other's. I turn all that inwards.
So yeah, as I don't really want another moral or ethical 'witch-hunt ' at the mo '
A little bit about yourself would be greatly appreciated.
And with my hand on my heart, I WILL NOT BE AS JUDGEMENTAL AS OTHER'S ARE FROM THEIR GRANDIOSE IVORY TOWERS.
Many thanks
J
I hope you don't take what I've said as a person attack. I'm just wanting to make sense of what you are saying.

You use terms like 'so called professsionals' and 'ivory tower'. It sounds like this has touched a nerve and you may (dare I suggest it) have some narcissistic tendencies underneath that push these buttons. How dare people not do as I say? How dare they criticise or ask questions? That's the message I am getting but I could be completely wrong.

Your experience w the therapist may be a one off but if you tried tto assert or dominate a DBT therapist you will get blocked and that's likely to be aversive for you. Whilst I agree therapy relies on a good relationship w the therapist, it's proven PD treatments are often interfered w by clients who want to avoid or block any suggestion of change by a therapist. It's why CBT proves fairly mild in efficacy for BPD.

Again I am asking Qs to make sense of what you are saying. I suspect you wanted people tto tell you that the GP was awful to you. If that's what you want then that's OK. But I won't bullshit you. I respect you enough to be honest :)
 
L

Lavendergirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2020
Messages
109
Location
London
For bpd? It's not licensed for it. As an anti anxiety pill it's good but it's also highly addictive which is why it's a controlled drug I'm the UK. It depends what you want, to use a potentially dangerous drug to cope day to day or not. All medications are dangerous and I am not anti prescribed medications IF people know the risk v benefits. I've taken an anti depressant for years and found them helpful. But I know it may have longer term effects like weight gain if I'm not careful.
Thanks for your answer
My daughter has bpd
Pregabalin is the only medication she takes now
As she recently went into crisis after coming off amisulpride
She was then given lamotrigine instead which heightened her anxiety
Eventually she has refused to take any other meds
Apart from the pregabalin
Which she was taking along side the amisulpride
Her phychitrist wanted her to try an antidepressant but sadly at the moment she is in a negative place and refusing any more meds or help
She has asked for the dose of pregabalin to be doubled to 600mg twice day
That concerns me seems a high amount
Also she is worried about more weight gain
Not sure if pregabin is associated with weight gain
We are in UK also
I totally agree with you though and really wish she would investigate dbt therapy
I'm willing to pay a decent therapist it's finding one thats tricky
Her mental health team don't appear to be trained in dealing with bpd which doesn't help
And it's not offered in this trust area
Thanks for responding
Just trying to gain as much info as I can to help her.
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,202
Location
London, ON
Hello after a couple of conversations I've had to date on this site,and knowing that my " moral-compass " is once again under scrutiny, can you give me a little bit of background as to who I'm actually corresponding with?
Cos I'm tired of being viewed as controlling- malicious, manipulative, and throwing my toys around to get what I want.
All my triggers and aggressive outbursts have NEVER involved physical violence on other's. I turn all that inwards.
So yeah, as I don't really want another moral or ethical 'witch-hunt ' at the mo '
A little bit about yourself would be greatly appreciated.
And with my hand on my heart, I WILL NOT BE AS JUDGEMENTAL AS OTHER'S ARE FROM THEIR GRANDIOSE IVORY TOWERS.
Many thanks
J
I don't recall anybody posting anything that called you manipulative or malicious, or questioned your morals.
 
O

Offkielter

Active member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Devon
Once again, banging on about the moral and ethical implications. Mostly negative. Paracetamol can kill ,two for a headache helps.
When I had a serious motorbike accident they I.v me some liquid morphine or equivalent, the pain melted away... tfl I'd had too much I'd be under the dirt not standing on top of it.
So this attachment might shed some light.
GABAPENTINE, PREGABLIN AND ANYTHING ELSE out in the big wide world all has one thing in common. It works on the gaba neuro transmitters/receptors.
It's an amino acid.
The reason poor old "gaba " is frowned upon, is because junkies abused it.
 
W

WhySoSerious

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2019
Messages
267
Location
UK
Thanks for your answer
My daughter has bpd
Pregabalin is the only medication she takes now
As she recently went into crisis after coming off amisulpride
She was then given lamotrigine instead which heightened her anxiety
Eventually she has refused to take any other meds
Apart from the pregabalin
Which she was taking along side the amisulpride
Her phychitrist wanted her to try an antidepressant but sadly at the moment she is in a negative place and refusing any more meds or help
She has asked for the dose of pregabalin to be doubled to 600mg twice day
That concerns me seems a high amount
Also she is worried about more weight gain
Not sure if pregabin is associated with weight gain
We are in UK also
I totally agree with you though and really wish she would investigate dbt therapy
I'm willing to pay a decent therapist it's finding one thats tricky
Her mental health team don't appear to be trained in dealing with bpd which doesn't help
And it's not offered in this trust area
Thanks for responding
Just trying to gain as much info as I can to help her.
That's OK.

DBT is actually quite expensive as you must do individual an hour a week plus a group each week which is 2 hours. It's a team approach so a single therapist can't provide dbt on their own.

As for pregabalin it's max dose for anxiety is (IIRC) 600mg split across 24hs. Most people don't understand how much of a bitch it is to get off.

Generic CMHTs do understand BPD but unless you have DBT therapists they provide generic support w no real specialism. Unfortunately they see so many ppl with BPD that they have to target to thhe most extreme cases. Psychiatrists will often throw pills at people but that's often to quieten them down. In our area you can't get DBT without very significant repeated self injury as waits are upward of 2years.

Any other Qs you can msg me if that's easier.
 
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