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My girlfriend's past brings me depression

J

justinbieber

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I am having an affair with a girl for 7 months. she had an affair with a boy (only a one guy) for 2 and half years. she didnt even let him to touch her. but she has loved him soo much. early days she always reminds about him. they didnt even date a lot, just only few days. but she remeber every single moment. early days it wasnt a problem for me. when the time goes we got soo close. she started loving me alot. i mean alot. :) i feel it. she said she loves me more than she loved him. sometimes i feel it too. i feel her love. i am the first guy who touched her.

now she dont even talk about him. but i think she is still living with that past. i not telling she loves him now. but i hate her memories. she also says memories cant do anything to our love. but some times i am trying to compare how she loved him and how she loves me. and i start overthinking. some times i dont trust her love. but she loves me, i know it. but sometimes i start to question her love. i think she is not loving me like she did to him. but when we date ,she shows her love soooooooooo much, and i feel it so much. but when i get back to home i started thinking some crazy things. sometimes i scold her because of this reason,then she start crying and tel me "why dont u understand, i love u more than i did to him. why are u thinking that past". guys please help me. this problem annoy me sooo much.
she is a very good girl, this mental disorder hurts her alot :low:
 

MarlieeB

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Welcome to the forum.

Can I ask how old you are?

I really don't see what the problem is. Everyone has a past, everyone has memories that we can't change.

Let me understand this a little more. She was with him for 2 and a half years and they went on a few dates right?

She has said to you many times that it is different with her. Is she your first girlfriend?

I would concentrate on the love that she has for you and not worry about the past.
 
J

justinbieber

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i'm 20 years old. ya she is my first girl friend.
 
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

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I don't get it either

Are you saying she has a mental disorder? Or that your being jealous of an ex boyfriend is part of your MH problems?
 
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justinbieber

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no she doesnt hav a mental disorder. I think i do, beacuse,

She had a boyfriend. But he has never even touched her. Beacause she didnt even let him to do it. That affair was about 2 and half years. Beacuse of some reasons it broke up. She has loved him soo much.

Part 2 - after 1 year from that broke up , i asked out from her. She said "i cant luv u because i loved him in the best way i could, so i cant love another boy like that ". But when the time passes she said yes to me. She said she loves me alot. but she didnt stop talking about him. she kept telling me what they did, about their conversations etc. But i didnt think what she is telling those days. I know she loves me, then that memories didnt matter to me. she said she is just telling the past and she said she doesnt hav any love feeling about him now

Part 3 - one day she told me she wants to meet him with me. She didnt say da reason. but she needed to meet him with me. I asked "why da hell do u wanna meet him". She said she wants to love me like she loved him early days.she said this meet will help her to love me like she loved him before. Still i dont know what is the point of it. But that day my heart burnt out. I thought she loved me more than she did to him. But at that day i realized she love me less than she did to him.. i cried alot. Alot. Alot.

Part 4 -but when the time passes, she started to loving me alot. I felt the difference. she couldnt liv without me. She could liv without talking to me. She always needed me. She started to kiss me alot, alot ,alot. She started to hug me alot. i became a part of her body.part of her breath . Part of her life. my love for her increased sooooo much.early days she talked about her ex so much. But now she dOesnt even tel his name. Very very oftenly she says something about him.

But after that my mental disorder came :(
 

MarlieeB

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To me and of course I am not an expert but I think you may have some sort of attachment issue but I can't see how anything you have said says you have mental health issue.
 
Toasted Crumpet

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I think I can see where the confusion arises, sounds to me like she has given you mixed messages, first telling you she can't love you like him, then actually asking to meet him with you - that sounds seriously wierd to me.

And now she tells you she loves you and doesn't mention it at all - hopefully because she does not think about him anymore, but can see why you'd be bothered as she's now gone all quiet when she talked about him all the time?

I am not sure what you mean about mental disorder though. Do you mean because you are upset by the thought of her ex? Or is there some other issue you are experiencing?

IMO, and it is only an opinion as we are not experts, you don't sound like you have a mental disorder to me either, I think her behaviour has led to these feelings.
 
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