My girlfriend

[Simon-R]

Hey all, this is only my second post, so please be gentle.

My girlfriend of 1 year has just discovered that i cut myself.I'm just wondereing if anyone else out there has got any tips of things that i can tell her. She knows my history, and even came with me to see my doctor, but still doesn't 'get it'.Anyone know anything that might help?

Si

 

[Lion Heart]

it sound to me like she really cares about you mate,i would be as truthfull as i could be with her,this is the best way mate,hide nil & you got nothing to worrie about,my girl no's me inside out & i love it this way

have you told her why you cut & what you get out of it ?

takecare

 

[jemoess]

i agree, honesty is the best thing in this situation. maybe you could write down some things - i found that the hardest part of explaining things to my friends when they found out was that i couldn't get my thoughts in order when i was talking to them. so i had to write everything down that i needed to say.

 

[Neferakhet]

Hey all, this is only my second post, so please be gentle.

My girlfriend of 1 year has just discovered that i cut myself.I'm just wondereing if anyone else out there has got any tips of things that i can tell her. She knows my history, and even came with me to see my doctor, but still doesn't 'get it'.Anyone know anything that might help?

Si

I would advise against telling the truth to her.The reason is such acts are looked down upon by society and unfortunately by lots of girls as well.Some(girls) get scared and arguably rightfully so that in the long run her boyfriend may hurt her as well,and think of dumping them.

If you do care about your girlfriend you should try to hide those type of things as much as you can.Don't try to explain why you did it.It will not yield any result rest assured.

Sorry to tell but it's a mistake that you let her see your doc,as well as being truthful to her.That is a risk my friend,and honestly can end certain things while lies can save them.Just tell her that you are perfectly ok and normal,that cutting yourself was just a childish and silly thing to do and promise her that it won't happen again.

 

[jemoess]

I disagree, girls (generally speaking) know when their guy has put any kind of wall between them. Once she senses it, if she cares about you, she will either want to know why it is there, or it will hurt her so much that she will leave. Girls also hate to be lied to.

Never promise her something you do not know that you can keep. Ever. When she finds out not only will it hurt you, it will hurt her, too.

If you don't know how to explain it, you could get her onto a forum like Written On The Body (http://www.scar-tissue.net/wotb/index.php) which is a forum for people who are not self-harmers but care about someone who does. There are other partners and friends of self-harmers on there, as well as a couple of self-harmers. Any questions she has can be answered there, and she will be encouraged to talk to you about some of those. She'll also get help in coping with it.

There are also plenty of websites about self harm, ReachOut has some great stories and fact sheets about self harm: http://au.reachout.com/find/issues/mental-health-difficulties/deliberate-self-harm

Letting her come to the doctors with you shows a lot of trust in her. Yeah, it's scary. Yeah, she's likely going to want more now. But if you're in the relationship for the long run, then it was definitely a good thing.

 

[Lion Heart]

tell her the whole stroy & get it off your chest for good

 

[Wendy]

I,agree with you nomoreweed,I think you should say the truth and hopefully she will stick with you.
Wendy x

 

[Lion Heart]

yes wendy i think you have hit the nail on the head,if she still stays with you after you have told her the full story,then she is the one for you,this is a very good way of finding out if you really are ment to be together.i no this is a very hard thing to do because i have been there before,but once you get it off your chest & share your problems with your girl,then things really do get better between the to of you,thats if you was ment to be in the first place

this is my opinion anyway,i wish you good luck & happyness with what ever way you go about it

 

[carukia]

Hey all, this is only my second post, so please be gentle.

My girlfriend of 1 year has just discovered that i cut myself.I'm just wondereing if anyone else out there has got any tips of things that i can tell her. She knows my history, and even came with me to see my doctor, but still doesn't 'get it'.Anyone know anything that might help?

Si

I've got a similar problem with the relationship I'm in. I've come to realise though that unless someone has gone through similar experiences it's impossible for them to really understand. The fact that she's stuck by you shows that she's a compassionate person who cares about you.
Ultimately, I think the kind of things you've been through can't be understood by being told about them. They have to be lived.
I know it's frustrating when you have someone who wants to understand. Good luck

-c

 

[Neferakhet]

MY girl friend cheat with me and she says i don't care about this.............

Dump her immediately.