My girlfriend seriously needs help

[mix1991]

I've know "X" for a while now, we've been seeing each other for over a month. We are both young i'm 16. But shes hinted towards some thing that used to be wrong with her. I didnt want to rush her, and over time ive gained her trust. Shes just told me she has anorexia and has done for a few years. Im the only person who knows though, after a long convosation about that it turns out that she dosnt want to stop it after i suggested we fought it togetter. She said that she has a voice in her head, some kind of duality called "Y".

"Y" apparantly tells her to starv her self, that shes fat, ugly and hopless. I dont know what her condision is, but she dosnt want to lose "Y" shes her friend and apparantly helps her become better looking.

She dosnt want to stop being anorexic, because "Y" would hate her for it. She wants to be skinny, as in the extreme

http://sidaorg.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/anorexia4lp.jpg

As in that! shes not fat, and im not just saying that. She says that she and "Y" both want this, and they would gladly die for it.

I love "X" so much, I will stand by her through this but i really dont know what to do. She hasnt told anybody not even her mum and dad, shes scared they would send her off to be cured which ofcourse she dosnt want.

Ive applyed for this forum in a rush, i really dont know what to do. If there are doctors that help out on this site and that are willing to help i would gladly privatly send them an exact convosation I had with her over an email instant messanger.

she told me all this recently and I dont know this but i feel things will change with us, i really didnt feel like i was talking to "X" it didnt sound like her, i think i was talking to "Y"

please help, what should I do? what has she got? Is there some way I can fight "Y" to get my girlfriend back?

 

[Fedup]

Firstly hello and to MHF.

Your girlfriend needs to see her gp as the first port of call imo.
The link to the piccie you put ............. if your girlfriend looks like that , then i don't understand how her parent's havn,t noticed.

Keep us posted.

 

[honeyquince]

Hi Mix1991 and welcome to the forum.

I do hope that you find the support you need here - we're a friendly bunch of people and there will be people here who are familiar with the difficult situation that you are in.

I've been thinking about your situation - it must be incredibly difficult for you, but well done for staying around, you must really care for your girlfriend. I guess I would say that caring and staying close by are two really good things that you can do for her, being there and ready to listen in a non-judgemental way are both really important. The fact that she's shared this secret with you shows that you're already having an effect upon her so stick with it.

She does however have an illnes and for this I would agree with Fedup that she really needs to go and see her GP. Specialist support can be accessed through her GP so it's always the best first point of contact. How you get her to see that she has an illnes I'm afraid I'm not sure, you always run the risk of alienating her and loosing the person that you love. I guess be honest with her, tell her how you feel about her, how you feel about her illness and what you would like her to do (rather than saying 'you should do this or that').

Beyond this I'm not sure. I'm guessing that there would come a point when she would be taken into care if she is close to risking her life but hopefully with your support she can get the help she needs before this happens.

Does anyone else any ideas or a better insight that can be shared?

The last thing that I'll say is for you - take care of yourself, this sort of situation is incredibly draining and stressful so you need to look after yourself! Take some time out from the situation every now and then just to try and ground yourself again. As I say one of the best things you can do is to be there for her and you can't do this if you are ill yourself.

Take care, we will be thinking about you and do keep posting to let us know how you get on (just posting here can be a good way to defuse any stress you feel so feel free to come and vent!)

Honey, xx,

 

[mix1991]

if your girlfriend looks like that , then i don't understand how her parent's havn,t noticed.

She dosnt look like that, that is what she wants to look like and is apparantly willing to go for no matter what the factors. But thank you, both of you. I'll try to get her to see her GP, chances are she won't though...

 

[sunrise200468]

GP isnt good enough

this is serious.. saying shes willing to die to look anorexic is a sign of danger.
u need to take her to a mental health hospital. look one up, call them tell them the situation NOW. call in the cops to drag her there if u have to. let the parents know the situation. it does not matter now if she doesnt trust and may even hate u for dobbing her in. could u live knowing that u enabled to her to this state? would u be ok if she died? i dont think so. she might hate u now but she will thankyou later on and appreciate that u have given her life back. no one should have to live like this. yourre a smart guy and i can see u care for her so much... u need to take action.
she will spiral out of control, u need to take a step up and do something now. the longer u leave it the worse it will get. she will die.

let us know how she goes

 

[krazy]

get her to some mental health specialist because Y can tell her to kill her self or do something thats not good! do not waste time and get her there!

 

[sweetness]

The problem with eating disorders is that they become a part of you. I know its hard to understand but its like your best/worst friend rolled into one. That special friend who is yours and only yours. Someone to tell you how well your doing and when you need to pick things up. I know eactly what she is going through.

Unfortunately, if she is not ready to recover its going to be incredicbly hard to force her to see anyone about it. The liklihood of her relapsing is huge. I dont want to put a downer onthings. The good thing is that she has told you about it. Eating disorders are a very secret thing on the whole and to share it with someone, especially someone who you dont suspect of haveing an ED is huge.

Maybe you could just try talking to her further about it before doing anything drastic. I doubt that she will appreciate it if she is forced to recover against her will.