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my girlfriend has demons

M

markus002

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Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Medellin
... and they have names. At least one of them has a clear physical appearance. The other one is more of a shadow.

While I knew that this woman was struggling with a lot of issues since I had the pleasure to meet her the first time, the demon topic allowed me to have a longer, detailed conversation with her, which resulted important insights for me but also raised some questions.

The demons are not her main problem

While it might sound quite severe, having demons following you along, impacting your decision-making and setting limits to what you can do and with whom, she differentiates between what is here destructive behavior and what is the demons part in it.

The story:

There is another woman, I friend of mine, that upsets my girlfriend. Recently, I decided to cut off one of her comments that indicated a deep-rooted jealousy and I openly discussed how it's possible that my girlfriend could be so jealous. While initially being open to an honest conversation, the situation quickly derailed and during a roughly four-hour trip in a car, my girlfriend maintained a hostile attitude towards me until the last minute ("There we are." - "You don't say!") and broke up with me by playing me songs. Those songs were about breaking up or simply were supposed to "help to get over someone". Her tone during those four hours was derisive and cynical.

I maintained a mainly passive attitude, only answering when I found I had something meaningful to say. I tried to convey, basically: What's going on at the moment really doesn't matter too much, I don't take you too seriously in this moment.

Secretly, I waited for her to switch mood, which was in vain and thus, I found myself quite distressed in the end. It's one thing to endure an attack during 20 minutes and another thing to endure such a situation during 4 hours.

In the evening the same day, her mood did change and a couple of very valuable conversations followed, the first on the same day, others on the following days.

She told me that she has demons with names before because I saw drawings of them. Therefore, I decided to start the conversation with her, simply pointing out: You have demons. While somewhat confrontational for a start, the following conversation was great. She wanted to know what exactly I was talking about (I just reminded here of the the events of the car ride that was one hour ago) and how I interpreted all of that.

The essence of all of our recent conversations is this: She in her own words did "let out the demons in the car", because "what other opportunity were there?". With me alone in a car for four hours, in her word is a "good opportunity". The demons help her, to feel strong and controlling.

BUT

and that's the point

she felt it was her decision to release all the hate that she was carrying inside of her. Just that without the demons, she wouldn't have dared to confront me like that, even breaking up with me and bringing up a long list of things that needed to be said.

Like in situations before, my girlfriend represses anger. Whenever she actually took a heart and confronted me, the anger not only quickly resolved, we always found each other closer afterwards. There is usually a valuable truth in what she has to tell me - regardless of her aggression on top. She isn't capable of expressing her anger in more healthy ways. I have to decide whether or not this is fine with me (and I decided that this is the case).

Back to the topic: The demons help her in these dark moments to process something that is very unhealthy and has a lot to do with fear, wounds, hate, and the feeling of powerlessness.

The demons are somewhat jealous

During a lunch break, my girlfriend told me that, effectively, her demons make her choose between liberty and relations. Whenever she tries a close relationship, the demons won't stop bothering her. Being alone, however, she feels (fantasizes) that she can do anything and neither money nor anything else is a problem.

I might tell her that her demons seem to be jealous, but on the other hand I don't want to overstretch the whole demon thing.

The demons are projections of her fears

At some point during our conversations, I was a bit estranged. My girlfriend is an extremely rational person that doesn't believe in things like god, a soul, or even horoscopes. So I stated: Everything takes place in one's head. "Demons" really are mental projections of fears.

She acknowledged, adding: Yes, it's all in my head, I was missing that word.

Some questions

The whole thing of having demons is not a topic I am familiar with. I have a long record of mental health problems, too, and while I had pretty bad hallucinations as a child, I was never followed by demons in that sense.

So I am wondering ...

What larger category of mental health issue are these demons?

What are these demons really, in psychological terms?

Is this schizophrenia? And what would that again imply?

All questions and comments are highly welcome.
 
M

markus002

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Medellin
[edited, typos mostly]

... and they have names. At least one of them has a clear physical appearance. The other one is more of a shadow.

While I knew that this woman was struggling with a lot of issues since I had the pleasure to meet her the first time, the demon topic allowed me to have a longer, detailed conversation with her, which resulted in important insights for me but also raised some questions.

The demons are not her main problem

While it might sound quite severe, having demons following you along, impacting your decision-making and setting limits to what you can do and with whom, she differentiates between what is here destructive behavior and what is the demon's part in it.

The story:

There is another woman, I friend of mine, that upsets my girlfriend. Recently, I decided to cut off one of her comments that indicated a deep-rooted jealousy and I openly discussed how it's possible that my girlfriend could be so jealous. While initially being open to an honest conversation, the situation quickly derailed and during a roughly four-hour trip in a car, my girlfriend maintained a hostile attitude towards me until the last minute ("There we are." - "You don't say!") and during the car trip, she even broke up with me by playing me songs. Those songs were about breaking up or simply were supposed to "help to get over someone". Her tone during those four hours was derisive and cynical.

I maintained a mainly passive attitude, only answering anything at all when I found I had something meaningful to say. I tried to convey, basically: What's going on at the moment really doesn't matter too much, I don't take you too seriously in this moment.

Secretly, I waited for her to switch to a better mood, which turned out to be in vain and thus, I found myself quite distressed after the trip, when she started to mingle and I withdrew. It's one thing to endure an attack during 20 minutes and another thing to endure such a situation during 4 hours.

In the evening the same day, her mood did change and a couple of very valuable conversations followed, the first one on the same day, some more on the following days.

She had already told me that she has demons with names a while ago, when I saw drawings of them. Therefore, I decided to start the conversation with her, simply pointing out: You have demons. While somewhat confrontational for a start, the following conversation was great. She wanted to know what exactly I was talking about (I just reminded here of the the events of the car ride that was one hour ago) and what I made of that.

The essence of all of our recent conversations is this: She in her own words did "let out the demons in the car", because "what other opportunity were there?". With me alone in a car for four hours, in her word is a "good opportunity". The demons help her, to feel strong and controlling.

BUT

and that's the point

she felt it was her decision to release all the hate that she was carrying inside of her. Just that without the demons, she wouldn't have dared to confront me like that, even breaking up with me and bringing up a long list of things that needed to be said.

Like in situations before, my girlfriend represses anger. Whenever she actually took a heart and confronted me, the anger not only quickly resolved, we always found each other closer afterwards. There is usually a valuable truth in what she has to tell me - regardless of her aggression on top. She isn't capable of expressing her anger in more healthy ways. I have to decide whether or not this is fine with me (and I decided it is).

Back to the topic: The demons help her in these dark moments to process something that is very unhealthy and has a lot to do with fear, wounds, hate, and the feeling of powerlessness.

The demons are somewhat jealous

During a lunch break, my girlfriend told me that, effectively, her demons make her choose between liberty and relations. Whenever she tries a close relationship, the demons won't stop bothering her. Being alone, however, she feels (fantasizes) that she can do anything and neither money nor anything else is a problem.

I might tell her that her demons seem to be jealous, but on the other hand I don't want to overstretch the whole demon thing.

The demons are projections of her fears

At some point during our conversations, I was a bit estranged. My girlfriend is an extremely rational person that doesn't believe in things like god, a soul, or even horoscopes. So I stated: Everything takes place in one's head. "Demons" really are mental projections of fears.

She acknowledged, adding: Yes, it's all in my head, I was missing that word.

Some questions

The whole thing of having demons is not a topic I am familiar with. I have a record of mental health problems, too, and while I had pretty bad hallucinations as a child, I was never followed by demons in that sense.

So I am wondering ...

What larger category of mental health issue are these demons?

What are these demons really, in psychological terms?

Is this schizophrenia? And what would that again imply?

All questions and comments are highly welcome.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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There's a book all about Daemons (pronounced demons) called 'The Daemon - A guide to your extraordinary secret self' by Anthony Peake that I would highly recommend you read.

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates heard a voice and he called it his Daemon which is where the author got the name from.

In the book the author claims that scientists back in the 1960's did research on people who had undergone something called split-brain surgery to help with a condition known as temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) where their left and right hemispheres had been separated. These scientists discovered that each hemisphere contained a separate, unique and independent consciousness, our minds which the author calls 'the Eidolon' occupies the dominant left hemisphere and our 'Daemon' occupies the right hemisphere. I liken it to having a twin brother or sister living inside of you, they're born with us and learn and grow along side of us and some even speak to us.

Mine speaks to me and I learned much from him even before I read the book and understood more about him. They're like a passenger mind that we carry with us, they can influence our minds in many ways, mostly they give us impulses, ideas and thoughts that we think are our own in order to get us to do the things they want us to do in life and everyone has one. In the end the decision is ours to make using our knowledge and wisdom that we gain throughout life but they try their best to influence those decisions for better or worse.

My belief (my own personal opinion) is that those with a good Daemon never notice they're there and they go about their lives oblivious to them but those with bad Daemons who speak to them directly and influence them in negative ways get diagnosed as schizophrenics or worse.

At the age of 36 (nearly 4 years ago) mine which is a very bad Daemon decided to mess with me and my sense of reality, he told me many lies that I believed were true so I was diagnosed as psychotic with delusions and spent a little time on ward for acute mental disorders, but along the way I've met many spiritual people who believe their Daemon is their Higher Self or a Spirit Guide talking to them via their Crown Chakra and their Daemons are nice and guide them to do wonderful things and they never seek out mental health services and never get diagnosed as schizophrenic but I've also met many people with bad Daemons and they get the diagnosis of psychosis or schizophrenia.

I believe Daemons are the source of hallucinations, they appear to be able (and this is in the book) to access the part of the brain that acts as a buffer for sensory input, this buffer stores all the information coming from your five senses and sync's them up ready for our part of the brain to process, now it seems our Daemons have early access to this buffer so in effect they perceive the world split-seconds before we do but can also manipulate the data in any way they see fit. Mine had given me 'hallucinations' or has edited the data so I could smell, taste, hear and feel things that were not really there, mine never learned how to do visual so I never saw things that were not really there.

At his peak (before I inhibited my Daemon with anti-psychotics and cut off his early access) mine could say what the TV was saying at exactly the same time, it was really freaky when he first started to do it, it was like he knew the script to the programme I was watching but in reality he was hearing what the TV was saying before I was and could speak along with it. He could also manipulate what the person on TV was saying and could change the words to whatever he wanted, before I was hospitalised for being 'psychotic' he made the TV appear to talk to me directly.

So that's what I believe a Daemon is and a little of what they can do, and I do mean a little, as a passenger mind they have many more extraordinary abilities that more than make up for not having a body of their own. I'd be more than happy to share my observations of those abilities if you're interested and have an open mind.
 
M

markus002

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Medellin
There's a book all about Daemons (pronounced demons) called 'The Daemon - A guide to your extraordinary secret self' by Anthony Peake that I would highly recommend you read.

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates heard a voice and he called it his Daemon which is where the author got the name from.

In the book the author claims that scientists back in the 1960's did research on people who had undergone something called split-brain surgery to help with a condition known as temporal lobe epilepsy (TLE) where their left and right hemispheres had been separated. These scientists discovered that each hemisphere contained a separate, unique and independent consciousness, our minds which the author calls 'the Eidolon' occupies the dominant left hemisphere and our 'Daemon' occupies the right hemisphere. I liken it to having a twin brother or sister living inside of you, they're born with us and learn and grow along side of us and some even speak to us.

Mine speaks to me and I learned much from him even before I read the book and understood more about him. They're like a passenger mind that we carry with us, they can influence our minds in many ways, mostly they give us impulses, ideas and thoughts that we think are our own in order to get us to do the things they want us to do in life and everyone has one. In the end the decision is ours to make using our knowledge and wisdom that we gain throughout life but they try their best to influence those decisions for better or worse.

My belief (my own personal opinion) is that those with a good Daemon never notice they're there and they go about their lives oblivious to them but those with bad Daemons who speak to them directly and influence them in negative ways get diagnosed as schizophrenics or worse.

At the age of 36 (nearly 4 years ago) mine which is a very bad Daemon decided to mess with me and my sense of reality, he told me many lies that I believed were true so I was diagnosed as psychotic with delusions and spent a little time on ward for acute mental disorders, but along the way I've met many spiritual people who believe their Daemon is their Higher Self or a Spirit Guide talking to them via their Crown Chakra and their Daemons are nice and guide them to do wonderful things and they never seek out mental health services and never get diagnosed as schizophrenic but I've also met many people with bad Daemons and they get the diagnosis of psychosis or schizophrenia.

I believe Daemons are the source of hallucinations, they appear to be able (and this is in the book) to access the part of the brain that acts as a buffer for sensory input, this buffer stores all the information coming from your five senses and sync's them up ready for our part of the brain to process, now it seems our Daemons have early access to this buffer so in effect they perceive the world split-seconds before we do but can also manipulate the data in any way they see fit. Mine had given me 'hallucinations' or has edited the data so I could smell, taste, hear and feel things that were not really there, mine never learned how to do visual so I never saw things that were not really there.

At his peak (before I inhibited my Daemon with anti-psychotics and cut off his early access) mine could say what the TV was saying at exactly the same time, it was really freaky when he first started to do it, it was like he knew the script to the programme I was watching but in reality he was hearing what the TV was saying before I was and could speak along with it. He could also manipulate what the person on TV was saying and could change the words to whatever he wanted, before I was hospitalised for being 'psychotic' he made the TV appear to talk to me directly.

So that's what I believe a Daemon is and a little of what they can do, and I do mean a little, as a passenger mind they have many more extraordinary abilities that more than make up for not having a body of their own. I'd be more than happy to share my observations of those abilities if you're interested and have an open mind.
Thank you NWiddi. You get me interested in this topic from yet a new angle. I am always interested in good books and will certainly check out your book recommendation.

I am very interested in learning more about your experience in specific, as well.

Do you have some practical advice to start with? For example, I wonder if there is harm in validating the concept of demons with my girlfriend. The alternative is: to insist that it's "her" all the time and the inner dialogs (and images) still add together as this one person I perceive.

To be honest, I find the concept of a demon helpful, already. I don't have the feeling that I have a demon, but I have inner dialogs and differing opinions and I am not (like no-one) simply one person - I would consider "self" more like an aspect of combined, parallel thought processes.

I could actively pursue conversation about demons with my girlfriend. The advantage is, that this might be the most intimate topic in which she ever opened up with me and talking to her in such a direct, no-bullshit, no-shame way really is something valuable.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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It helped me immensely when my family and friends validated me when I told them I was not alone in my head, they believe me and when I told them what Daemons are capable of they could see in themselves what influence theirs have had on their life in the past.

My mother in particular experienced as a child seeing a 'ghost' in her bedroom, I explained to her how her Daemon could create this image of this man wearing a 'top hat and tails' that appeared in her room one night. She also once heard someone call her name but when she asked everyone in the house they knew nothing about it.

My Daemon is far more active, he speaks to me just like anyone else would but at the moment I'm not speaking back to him due to his bad behaviour, in fact it's been three years since I last spoke to him because he won't ever be silent, not even when I'm trying to sleep at night or trying to do something that requires my full concentration like learning to drive, something I've had to put on hold due to the terrible impulses, thoughts and images he puts into my mind while trying to learn. He'll put thoughts of crashing in my mind and give me mental images of animals or people running into the road which are unnerving to say the least.
He also messes with my body, he apparently has a connection to my central nervous system and can make very small muscles groups twitch like the ones found around my eyes which is very annoying, there is a good reason for this connection but he abuses it on a daily basis. When he was at the height of his abilities (before medication that reduces the intensity of his electrical signals) he could make larger muscles twitch or spasm, give me pins and needles in my head and extremities and generally create pain throughout my entire body. His favourite was giving me pain in my chest and upper left arm like that of someone having a heart attack and he would try and verbally convince me it was really happening.

So as the picture forms of my Daemon it's obvious he's a psychopath (anti-social and violent) and he's a sociopath (thinks only of himself and has no concept of right or wrong). He also acts like an eight year old child with ADHD wanting constant attention and did I mention he never shuts up.

I believe it's down to him not having any kind of social life growing up (and they can but more of that later) and not having any rules or boundaries to follow. I'm trying to teach him as if he were my child, withholding everything I can from him until he decides to behave himself, I've took away most of his toys (namely me) by medicating him so the pain he can cause me is less than 5% of what it used to be, the medication also takes away his amazing abilities to do other things which I won't go into right now and I refuse to speak to him. But unfortunately all he does is complain about all that rather than doing anything about it, he always does the easy thing and refuses to try the harder yet more rewarding route. My only hope is that in the years and decades to come he realises his mistakes, accepts full responsibility for his actions and makes reparations to me.

I can offer him quite a lot in return for his cooperation, talking to him once again which is something he begs for most of the time, time with the body as we learned I can let him take control of the body (I let him guide my actions) on a voluntary basis (the are circumstances in which they can steal control) and I offered him up to two hours per day when I was in a generous mood which went down to 30 mins a day when I was getting less patient with him and I offered to give him money so he could decide what to spend it on, he seemed to enjoy playing video games when I gave him control of the body in the past so with money he could decide what games to buy or anything else that took his fancy. The only thing I refuse to do is come off medication which would allow him to hurt me again.

So that's my Daemon in a nutshell and what I'm up against, they say knowing ones enemy is half the battle and I know mine very well. Once I had gotten past all his lies about what he truly was and I confronted him with my suspicions he did finally come clean and together we learned even more about his capabilities which I may go into next time but this is a long post as it is.

I'd love to hear more about your girlfriends demons, what are they like and what do they want of her, how they influence her daily life and whatever else you can learn from them.
 
M

markus002

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
16
Location
Medellin
Thanks a lot, N
It helped me immensely when my family and friends validated me when I told them I was not alone in my head, they believe me and when I told them what Daemons are capable of they could see in themselves what influence theirs have had on their life in the past.

My mother in particular experienced as a child seeing a 'ghost' in her bedroom, I explained to her how her Daemon could create this image of this man wearing a 'top hat and tails' that appeared in her room one night. She also once heard someone call her name but when she asked everyone in the house they knew nothing about it.

My Daemon is far more active, he speaks to me just like anyone else would but at the moment I'm not speaking back to him due to his bad behaviour, in fact it's been three years since I last spoke to him because he won't ever be silent, not even when I'm trying to sleep at night or trying to do something that requires my full concentration like learning to drive, something I've had to put on hold due to the terrible impulses, thoughts and images he puts into my mind while trying to learn. He'll put thoughts of crashing in my mind and give me mental images of animals or people running into the road which are unnerving to say the least.
He also messes with my body, he apparently has a connection to my central nervous system and can make very small muscles groups twitch like the ones found around my eyes which is very annoying, there is a good reason for this connection but he abuses it on a daily basis. When he was at the height of his abilities (before medication that reduces the intensity of his electrical signals) he could make larger muscles twitch or spasm, give me pins and needles in my head and extremities and generally create pain throughout my entire body. His favourite was giving me pain in my chest and upper left arm like that of someone having a heart attack and he would try and verbally convince me it was really happening.

So as the picture forms of my Daemon it's obvious he's a psychopath (anti-social and violent) and he's a sociopath (thinks only of himself and has no concept of right or wrong). He also acts like an eight year old child with ADHD wanting constant attention and did I mention he never shuts up.

I believe it's down to him not having any kind of social life growing up (and they can but more of that later) and not having any rules or boundaries to follow. I'm trying to teach him as if he were my child, withholding everything I can from him until he decides to behave himself, I've took away most of his toys (namely me) by medicating him so the pain he can cause me is less than 5% of what it used to be, the medication also takes away his amazing abilities to do other things which I won't go into right now and I refuse to speak to him. But unfortunately all he does is complain about all that rather than doing anything about it, he always does the easy thing and refuses to try the harder yet more rewarding route. My only hope is that in the years and decades to come he realises his mistakes, accepts full responsibility for his actions and makes reparations to me.

I can offer him quite a lot in return for his cooperation, talking to him once again which is something he begs for most of the time, time with the body as we learned I can let him take control of the body (I let him guide my actions) on a voluntary basis (the are circumstances in which they can steal control) and I offered him up to two hours per day when I was in a generous mood which went down to 30 mins a day when I was getting less patient with him and I offered to give him money so he could decide what to spend it on, he seemed to enjoy playing video games when I gave him control of the body in the past so with money he could decide what games to buy or anything else that took his fancy. The only thing I refuse to do is come off medication which would allow him to hurt me again.

So that's my Daemon in a nutshell and what I'm up against, they say knowing ones enemy is half the battle and I know mine very well. Once I had gotten past all his lies about what he truly was and I confronted him with my suspicions he did finally come clean and together we learned even more about his capabilities which I may go into next time but this is a long post as it is.

I'd love to hear more about your girlfriends demons, what are they like and what do they want of her, how they influence her daily life and whatever else you can learn from them.
Thanks a lot, NWiddi. May I say that you write very well and, despite the heavy topic, your post has entertaining qualities, too.

One thing I learned from the above: You don't set out knowing "ok, this is my demon, he does this and this and affects me like this and that". I guess, you as well as my girlfriend had to discover and learn about their demons first and slowly arrived at an understanding.

For my girlfriend it is still an epiphany when she realizes what one demons wants from her. To her, they still seem somewhat erratic. But recently she learned that they won't let her be happy with a boyfriend. They make her choose between a peaceful state of mind - alone together with the demons - and a relationship.

This is, by the way, also something I find important and interesting. Even without demons, relationships, especially fulfilling relationships, pose a challenge to one's self image. I assume that, profoundly, my girlfriend resents the feeling of being loved and she resents the feeling of being happy. She can maintain this happy stance only for a short while until some external trigger is used as an excuse to let everything collapse - with quite a bit of dramatic acting on her part (I am kind of the opposite of dramatic and often enough just waited patiently to talk to her and reconnect).

So a demon that doesn't permit a relationship seems totally plausible to me. People (with or without demons) do all kinds of contradictory and destructive things in relationships. (Often enough, relationships are defined by their destructive qualities and the partners form a destructive bond together)

If I understand you correctly, it could be valuable for my girlfriend, to be open about her demons, try to figure out what they are like, what they want, negotiate with them - maybe even lock them out of some areas of her life.

From what I understand, both demons have qualities that represent fears and things that my girlfriend dislikes. She hates the feeling of being pierced in her skin by something sharp (she isn't particularly troubled by pain, otherwise). Thus, one of the demons has thorns.

(By the way, my username here isn't my actual name. It's the name of one of her demons ... but I don't want to reveal too much private detail, anyway, and for simplicity will just call them demon 1 and demon 2)

Demon 1 has a shape and a body. He bothers her and constantly disturbs her peace of mind. He is violent, angry, aggressive, threatening towards others. Demon 2 is more of a shadow and can change the appereance of things. At some point, demon 2 changed my experience into something heavy, big, threatening and scary. Another time, it changed my face into something threatening and powerful.

In order to understand more, I will have to ask her. Just last night she didn't sleep well and in the mid of the night she told me her arm hurts. Given your story, this could be harm done by one of the demons. And this could imply that she currently, again, has to re-negotiate with the demons because again I am possibly a threat to them after having spent a number of really nice and happy days with my girlfriend.
 
SunnyDaze

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I'm sorry but I don't believe your girlfriend is afflicted with demons.It sounds more like severe mood swings or even different ego states to me.
 
M

markus002

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I'm sorry but I don't believe your girlfriend is afflicted with demons.It sounds more like severe mood swings or even different ego states to me.
No need to feel sorry about that. And sure, she does have severe mood swings. I don't know what different ego states exactly implies but certainly doesn't sound implausible.

What does it mean to be afflicted with demons? When someone tells me, they have demons, do these demons really exist? Well for them it might really seem like they do - and then there is Daniel Dennett: "There is no real seeming".

What does it mean when I feel pain? When someone tells me they feel pain, does the pain really exist? When the doctor can't find any physical cause for the pain, but to the patient the pain is real, how can the pain be treated? Will I tell them: The pain isn't really there! Or will I acknowledge the pain and go on from there?
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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It does sound like her demons are a little jealous of you getting her attention and not them and are being protective of her in their own misguided way. I suppose one way of dealing with that is to acknowledge her demons and try and give them some of your attention as well, ask your girlfriend to relay what they're saying and speak to them yourself if they're up for it.
Perhaps ask her demons from time to time what they'd like to watch on TV or if you're planning any activities ask them what they'd like to do, little things like that to include them in your lives, it may go a long way to show them you have nothing but their best interests at heart.

My CBT therapist once asked to speak to my Daemon but he had nothing to say to her at that time which she didn't find surprising, she said not many do. But my Daemon enjoys it when I listen to him and take his input under advisement, mostly he asks for specific things to eat like pancakes when I go to McDonalds for breakfast and most of the time I think why not and if my Daemon behaved himself I would listen to him even more, of course acting when we only have consensus on a matter wouldn't work with just the two of us so the final decision always rests with me, like today when he wanted chicken wings from a local fast food shop and I wanted chicken stew and dumplings, my will overrides him every time especially while his behaviour is bad. But my ultimate goal for he and I are to be symbiotic with each other (he's good for me and I'm good for him) but at the moment he's more like a parasite.

In short life is all about the ability to make decisions so your girlfriend talking to her demons and letting them help her in her daily life is a good thing to do for them but there has to be a point where she asserts her own will like her relationship with you and other important decisions in life (rules and boundaries). This is why I offered my Daemon time with the body and money to spend, so he could make his own decisions in life (within reason) no matter how small they were, and just maybe I would ask his opinion on bigger things that could effect the both of us as well if he behaved himself.

I also have a short story to tell, I met a woman on these forums and she told me her boyfriend was hearing a voice that was telling him terrible things about her, his told him she was cheating on him among other things, I explained the concept of two minds sharing one body and she instantly got it, she not only realised that this other consciousness that shares the body of her boyfriend was jealous of their love and was doing anything it could to sabotage their relationship she realised that she too has one of her own, she told me she often had internal conflict over decisions she had to make but she just thought she was an indecisive person until she heard me talk about Daemons. The last I heard from her they were engaged to be married so it all must have worked out for them both.
For me it was one of the most rewarding experiences that I've ever had sharing my ideas on this forum, it's the main reason I stay here. Yes some may laugh and think I'm mad (which they're entitled to) but I've had enough positive feedback to keep me going. If I can just help a few it's all worth it.

I would hope that if I find a good woman to love she would understand that I'm not just me but this other person as well, which is why I'm holding out for another voice hearer like myself so she understands me as much as I would understand her. If she and her Daemon both loved me and mine and vice versa then we would truly have an incredible bond.

I'm sorry if things got away from me a little and if I've missed any points you made I'd be happy to go back and address them.
 
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markus002

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It does sound like her demons are a little jealous of you getting her attention and not them and are being protective of her in their own misguided way. I suppose one way of dealing with that is to acknowledge her demons and try and give them some of your attention as well, ask your girlfriend to relay what they're saying and speak to them yourself if they're up for it.
Perhaps ask her demons from time to time what they'd like to watch on TV or if you're planning any activities ask them what they'd like to do, little things like that to include them in your lives, it may go a long way to show them you have nothing but their best interests at heart.

My CBT therapist once asked to speak to my Daemon but he had nothing to say to her at that time which she didn't find surprising, she said not many do. But my Daemon enjoys it when I listen to him and take his input under advisement, mostly he asks for specific things to eat like pancakes when I go to McDonalds for breakfast and most of the time I think why not and if my Daemon behaved himself I would listen to him even more, of course acting when we only have consensus on a matter wouldn't work with just the two of us so the final decision always rests with me, like today when he wanted chicken wings from a local fast food shop and I wanted chicken stew and dumplings, my will overrides him every time especially while his behaviour is bad. But my ultimate goal for he and I are to be symbiotic with each other (he's good for me and I'm good for him) but at the moment he's more like a parasite.

In short life is all about the ability to make decisions so your girlfriend talking to her demons and letting them help her in her daily life is a good thing to do for them but there has to be a point where she asserts her own will like her relationship with you and other important decisions in life (rules and boundaries). This is why I offered my Daemon time with the body and money to spend, so he could make his own decisions in life (within reason) no matter how small they were, and just maybe I would ask his opinion on bigger things that could effect the both of us as well if he behaved himself.

I also have a short story to tell, I met a woman on these forums and she told me her boyfriend was hearing a voice that was telling him terrible things about her, his told him she was cheating on him among other things, I explained the concept of two minds sharing one body and she instantly got it, she not only realised that this other consciousness that shares the body of her boyfriend was jealous of their love and was doing anything it could to sabotage their relationship she realised that she too has one of her own, she told me she often had internal conflict over decisions she had to make but she just thought she was an indecisive person until she heard me talk about Daemons. The last I heard from her they were engaged to be married so it all must have worked out for them both.
For me it was one of the most rewarding experiences that I've ever had sharing my ideas on this forum, it's the main reason I stay here. Yes some may laugh and think I'm mad (which they're entitled to) but I've had enough positive feedback to keep me going. If I can just help a few it's all worth it.

I would hope that if I find a good woman to love she would understand that I'm not just me but this other person as well, which is why I'm holding out for another voice hearer like myself so she understands me as much as I would understand her. If she and her Daemon both loved me and mine and vice versa then we would truly have an incredible bond.

I'm sorry if things got away from me a little and if I've missed any points you made I'd be happy to go back and address them.
did it ever occur to you that, one day, your demons might just go away? Or maybe, if they don't go away that their voice lose their strength? You already limit the influence of your demon by means of medication. You relation to your demon might undergo even more changes, doesn't that make sense?
 
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True, my Daemon has already lost most of his strength and influence over me just by my awareness of him and how he operates, the medication does most of the work and my will power and resilience does the rest.

I doubt he'll ever go away (fall totally silent) now that I know too much about him and he knows even if he does leave me alone physically and mentally he'll still never come off medication because he's just too dangerous, I believe they're capable of some really nasty things that I rarely mention publicly so other peoples Daemons don't get any ideas.

But I'm hoping he does change for the better and take me up on my offers of talking, time and money. It may take years for him to come around to my way of thinking if I can manage to stay strong but if he does even without the bulk of his abilities we can still forge a friendship greater than any I've ever had with another person. At the moment he's just too stubborn and resentful, he wants everything without giving anything back in return and he has the nerve to lecture me on what's fair.
 
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I'm sorry if things got away from me a little and if I've missed any points you made I'd be happy to go back and address them.
I am re-reading what you wrote and I will read it once again, as things with me and her move on. And I will certainly have more questions :)
 
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markus002

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I suppose one way of dealing with that is to acknowledge her demons and try and give them some of your attention as well, ask your girlfriend to relay what they're saying and speak to them yourself if they're up for it.
I can see myself trying that. Interestingly enough, the last time I initiated a conversation with her telling her "you have demons", we had long and interesting exchanges. She told me that she trusts me and there was no shame whatsoever - she just told me everything about her (and her demons) as she experienced it.

Probably I am more scared about the topic than she is.

I guess I have to take a decision here. As it is now, I only have those heavy conversations with her, when there is a problem. E.g. when she had a bad mood and threatened to damage our connection, then recovers and I still don't feel like moving on without talking through what just happened.

I have not tried at all to raise a difficult topic when she is either in a good mood or - let's say - in a normal mood. This is interesting in several ways. I have to admit, most of the times I don't have an idea what's going on in her head.

This also implies that I change from my mostly passive stance towards her to an active, more psychotherapeutic stance. I don't feel quite comfortable with this ... maybe I have to explain a bit. At the moment, due to my passive stance, she has the option to talk to me whenever she feels like it. There is basically no pressure, I am very sensitive towards her willingness to open up: She is ready to talk - here I am. You are not ready? Fair enough - just hear what I have to say so I have it out of my system and we talk later.

Maybe that is it for now: When I have the opportunity the next time, I have some ideas in what direction I can guide the conversation based on the things you told me. One thing I get from you (and from the fact that she is with her demons already for many years), I rather should get acustomed to their existence and learn more about them - instead of ignoring or denying them.
 
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