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My girlfriend did me so dirty

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AGomez27

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Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
24
Location
Dearborn
So this is the follow up story from my first on what happened after the month break with my girlfriend. You can check on my last post to be fully updated , I never got to find out if my girl was actually diagnosed with BPD. Despite her therapist saying she strongly believes she has and and myself seeing it after doing lots of research. Anyway I went to her house knocked on the door saw one of her cars was gone I thought she’d be home because her therapy appointments were done at 11 am unless something changed so I called once no answer. I texted a couple hours later saying hey it’s been a month can we meet up and talk. She calls back eventually we say hi and I said can we meet up and she pauses for at least a minute and then says I don’t wanna see you I say why she goes I just don’t wanna see and I’m saying there’s gotta be a reason she said there isn’t I just don’t. So then she tells me how she got a new job and she wouldn’t tell me when I asked afraid that I’ll judge her. I end up asking are we still together like what’s going on ? She says I feel at peace now no more stress and arguing and being put down and she defines being put down when we had arguments of misunderstanding or me pointing out something she did that I didn’t like expecting her to take accountability and be empathetic but everything got flipped back on me or ignored simple normal couple arguments fighting period and going through it and not wanting her to run away caused me to get told your putting me down. Back to the story so she then says I feel like myself again she said she lost 15 pounds like I wanted , I didn’t want it we just had a genuine heart to heart conversation at one point and she asked me how much could she lose and I said calmly and nicely with a soft tone about 15 at most but I mentioned she didn’t need to and it backfired on me and she never stopped bringing it up. So then she tells me your selfish Alex I don’t need your toxic love but it’s more her that was toxic because of all the splitting and constant blocking when she’d get serially triggered with me and many other things. She also said she felt like she couldn’t change with me. So when I asked again is it over she says yes and I said your seriously giving up on us like that then she went into complaining about how she always felt she loved me more than I loved her that I never appreciated her she never felt the love despite us nearly being together for 2 years and the crazy love we had before we started fighting a lot and me figuring her out. She then tells me there was things going on that I didn’t know about I said what are you talking about. She then tells me she called me twice drunk on the phone and said how’s you not know and blames me I didn’t realize it and to inform everyone when we first met she never drank alcohol never was that person so if I never seen it from her I’m not going to pick it up I’m aware of what it kinda sounds like but she wasn’t acting out of ordinary or strange. She also blamed me because one time she said she wasn’t acting normal with feeling wise and I didn’t notice but wouldn’t care to tell me context of the situation she wouldn’t back it up with the story when I asked. Keep in mind she knows how I feel about drinking I don’t date women who drink alcohol she knew from the get go before we started talking she told me she wouldn’t talk to me if I did so it worked out. But she comes to tell me and says she’s been drinking since September , behind my back so she lied to me she lied to my face about drinking at this Halloween party when I saw pictures I just out of anger said you were probably drinking but I didn’t believe she was but in the picture I saw it was alcohol I thought water. She lied straight to my face when I confronted her about it back in November. She’s gotten drunk a couple times blacked out so this is all a nightmare for me I don’t go for this kinda stuff she knows this. But while we’re talking about is still she says she still loves me and says idk I just don’t think I can love you the same my heart is tired and when I said your just gonna give up she said you say it like it’s a bad thing sometimes things just don’t work out. Also then blamed me because a month ago when we last talked I said if you end up taking a month break idk if I could still love I was expressing my fears of anger hurt and resentment for her wanting to take that long away from us I just felt if she did it would effect me badly and put a bigger hole in the relationship. And was hoping we could compromise and give me an exact date because she said maybe a month or a week she didn’t know and if it wasn’t for me reaching out I know it would’ve continued longer. So then she tells me she’s gotta go to work pauses for a minute and I said what ? She goes I wanted to say I’ll call you later but was like idk I’m like so are we done or not seems like your doing fine anyway she reacted by saying ohhh don’t say it like got all upset and ended saying I’ll call you when I get off at 10 we can finish the conversation if you want I said yes I wanna finish it. She never ended up calling me. So I waited by her house in hopes when we talk I can convince and say hey I’m by your house can we please talk In person she saw my new car when she comes home. To her knowledge she didn’t know I just got a new car or what it looks like but I still have the same license plate and she knows it by heart. She drove around the block twice goes in the driveway I gave her 3 minutes. I go in the driveway expecting her to close the gate but she was already inside. I call her no answer waited 25 minutes giving her the benefit of the doubt she’s doing something. No answer so I said fuck it I’m done I got my answer. Her sister then texts me next morning saying I have to stop showing up at her house and filling her around , idk where she got that from I never did she said I’ll have problems her dad will be waiting next time for me and to move on basically then said she’s even thinking about a restraining order. I explained by saying I only went to her house in hopes Of convincing her to see me in person and talk and to get a clear answer if it was over or not she kept going back and forth in the convo about her feelings and it’s over but I love you and complains about her feelings more. Sounds to me like she’s in the middle anyway I also said she told me she’d call me and we could continue the conversation I was just hoping she’d give me the respect to tell straight up if it’s done or not that’s all I wanted to know where we stand. Her sister then tellls me I showed up at her job which I never did that’s a lie then she says now the house after telling me to stop. First off never once told me to stop last Wednesday was the first day we talked in a month period we had no communication at all. And when we did talk on Wednesday she didn’t mention any of those things so there’s some lying going around here somehow. She said her sister was worried and just wanted to let me know. I just re explained the situation and filled her in on everything figured she might not know. She then comes at me and says I was looking out for you that’s fine if you wanna be like that , I didn’t say anything lol just explaining the situation I’m like wtf bro. Last thing I said was I don’t wanna cause any issues I just wanted respect from her and to get answer but she doesn’t have to worry I won’t bother anymore. And told her family to take care and thanks for letting me know. My girl or x ended up texting me couple hours later saying I wanted to call you back but I recognized your plate number and she said she got triggered , scared, upset and she said I told you I don’t wanna see you you always do what you wanna do. Then said she ended up leaving her phone in the car and ran in the house because she was so upset and scared. Then lastly says I respect you but I wasn’t ready to see you. So I know her sister told her what I said. At that one when I saw threat of restraining order I lost all respect for her to treat me like we didn’t nearly date for 2 years a stranger or a stalker. All because I wanted an answer and she told me she’d call me if it’s done fuckimg say it make it clear don’t string me a long. And funny thing is she didn’t mention anything about a restraining order my x so if she’s that scared or worried why would you hit me up to
Even explain what you did last night and why and how you apparently respect me. Somethings not adding up but I just wanna know based on BPD even though I’m not sure if she was diagnosed despite the sign I’ve seen if I’m doing the right thing by letting go and keeping my respect and dignity by moving on and if she’s gonna come back did she really just let go like that not care anymore
 
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MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
895
Bro based on what you’re saying how could you not get a clear answer from that? From what you’ve said I could tell it was over a quarter of the way through ...

Also never tell a girl she can lose 15 pounds even if she asks!

Move on bro ... get a new gf and be happy with your life - she defo won’t come back, it’s over.
 
A

AGomez27

Member
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Messages
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Location
Dearborn
Bro based on what you’re saying how could you not get a clear answer from that? From what you’ve said I could tell it was over a quarter of the way through ...

Also never tell a girl she can lose 15 pounds even if she asks!

Move on bro ... get a new gf and be happy with your life - she defo won’t come back, it’s over.
I did nothing wrong though yeah I understand you shouldn’t say that but we were having a heart to heart serious conversation I shouldn’t be crucified for it. I just can’t believe everything I did for this girl I got treated like that I’m the end I was her first love first healthy person she talked to not relationship
 
A

AGomez27

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Messages
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Location
Dearborn
She said way worse things to me I let them go but I relaxed she never let anything go. Idk if that’s a BPD thing or what
 
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MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
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Messages
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I did nothing wrong though yeah I understand you shouldn’t say that but we were having a heart to heart serious conversation I shouldn’t be crucified for it. I just can’t believe everything I did for this girl I got treated like that I’m the end I was her first love first healthy person she talked to not relationship
you shouldn’t have said it though bro regardless like you said you knew that it was a mistake but it’s done. Dude there’s loads of stuff you said in your post that would have triggered her, she’s done stuff wrong you’ve done stuff wrong but it’s over now so you need to forget about her and move on with your life
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
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Messages
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She said way worse things to me I let them go but I relaxed she never let anything go. Idk if that’s a BPD thing or what
yeah that’s bpd, you let them go because you’re not mentally ill she didn’t because she is
 
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AGomez27

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Messages
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Location
Dearborn
you shouldn’t have said it though bro regardless like you said you knew that it was a mistake but it’s done. Dude there’s loads of stuff you said in your post that would have triggered her, she’s done stuff wrong you’ve done stuff wrong but it’s over now so you need to forget about her and move on with your life
Most of the stay I mentioned in the post was things she said. Idk bro I’m forcing myself mainly because she disrespected me so bad with the restraining order thing. Her sister said some things that weren’t even true idk if it’s all a game or scare tactic but wtf I didn’t deserve this I bought a BPD relationship program for us I got a therapist to better understand her and to gets to help us and for me. I did endless hours of research I got on this forum for help. She calls me toxic when she was the one. I don’t understand how she went from saying I love you too much and it’s not over to a month later she’s at peace and feels normal
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

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Messages
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Most of the stay I mentioned in the post was things she said. Idk bro I’m forcing myself mainly because she disrespected me so bad with the restraining order thing. Her sister said some things that weren’t even true idk if it’s all a game or scare tactic but wtf I didn’t deserve this I bought a BPD relationship program for us I got a therapist to better understand her and to gets to help us and for me. I did endless hours of research I got on this forum for help. She calls me toxic when she was the one. I don’t understand how she went from saying I love you too much and it’s not over to a month later she’s at peace and feels normal
let it go or you actually will have a restraining order and her dad.

she won’t change her mind now it’s over so the longer you dwell on it the worse it will be - you gotta just move on ...
 
A

AGomez27

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let it go or you actually will have a restraining order and her dad.

she won’t change her mind now it’s over so the longer you dwell on it the worse it will be - you gotta just move on ...
I already left it alone bro I’m just sharing my feelings and how confused I am. I’m not desperate but thanks anyway
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

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Messages
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I already left it alone bro I’m just sharing my feelings and how confused I am. I’m not desperate but thanks anyway
that’s cool share your feelings that’s good, Im not saying your desperate but you did hang around her house ... which is extreme!
 
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MYTIMEHASCOME

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Why you say she won’t change her mind now
because once people with bpd devalue you it’s over in there eyes so you say you wanted her to say it’s over but it defo is over she won’t say it to you but it is
 
A

AGomez27

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that’s cool share your feelings that’s good, Im not saying your desperate but you did hang around her house ... which is extreme!
Like I said I only did that because she said she’d call me back after work and we’d continue our conversation. I wanted a clear straight honest answer because when we spoke on the phone she kept going back and forth from saying yeah it’s over to complaining about her feelings and blaming me for everything. I just thought if I was by her house when she called or I called I’d try to convince her to talk face to face that’s all
 
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AGomez27

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because once people with bpd devalue you it’s over in there eyes so you say you wanted her to say it’s over but it defo is over she won’t say it to you but it is
She’s been devaluing for a while now though ??
 
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MYTIMEHASCOME

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Like I said I only did that because she said she’d call me back after work and we’d continue our conversation. I wanted a clear straight honest answer because when we spoke on the phone she kept going back and forth from saying yeah it’s over to complaining about her feelings and blaming me for everything. I just thought if I was by her house when she called or I called I’d try to convince her to talk face to face that’s all
dude that sounds controlling though. If someone doesn’t want to talk to me I don’t turn up at their house, if she’s blaming you and complaining about her feelings it’s definitely over, I’m not sure how you couldn’t be sure of it ... like when I read your post it was incredibly obvious it was over
 
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