My girlfriend broke up with me because of depression

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Sunshine33

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
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2
Location
Canada
Hi all,

My girlfriend who I have known for a while but have been seriously dating for three month just broke up with me. Her primary reason for the break up was the relapse of her eating disorder. She said that she can’t date someone unless she is fully recovered. But as we talked more for days, I realized that it’s way more than an eating disorder.

Before the breakup, she won’t stop telling me how much she loves me. That she wants to be with me. That she misses me. We were planning our future together. She wanted to move in with me.

But suddenly, it changed. She now says that she doesn’t feel the love anymore. That she is depressed and lonely. I am having a really hard time understanding what happened. How can she go from all loving to not feeling it like that in a day? I really developed feelings for her and it’s now breaking me. Is mental illness and depression an explanation for this?

She wants me to be her friend. Says she is lonely, depressed and needs someone to talk to. I was there for her as her partner offering her all the love and support but she doesn’t want to date me anymore. She pushed me away. She actually doesn’t wanna date anyone. I can’t see her in distress and pain as it hurts me. I don’t know how to handle that.

Will appreciate any advice.
 
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Pollypop

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Jul 23, 2015
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1,023
Location
England. Derbyshire
Hi sunshine,
I think it possibly is her depression and relapse that has
caused this.
She is possibly feeling worthless and maybe a burden to you.
and very confused about her life..

She still wants you around so I don’t think you have done
anything wrong.
It’s hard to know what to do when mental illness sets in.

I suggest you stick around and support her but don’t try to
push for explanations unless she wants to try to confide in you.

You clearly love her and I hope the relationship returns when
she starts to recover and she feel worthy of love again.

Best wishes
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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May 29, 2019
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London
Seriously dating for 3 months ? Is that a joke ? It was still in its infantsy i dont want to say this no one wants to hear but it was Not Meant To Be. Depressiom sucks i can relate maybe a relationship is the last thing you need right now with your depression just a thought
 
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Pollypop

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Jul 23, 2015
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1,023
Location
England. Derbyshire
As I read it sunshine, you were friends before the relationship started,
so you probably know quite a lot about each other

Also that she is the one with depression, not you ?
 
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Sunshine33

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Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
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Location
Canada
Thanks Pollypop,

Yes, she is the one who has depression, not me.

As I am reading more on the internet, it seems that depression makes one loose touch with emotions and they can't feel anything. What you are saying seems correct that its her depression causing this. I am just so confused how it happened suddenly. How she went from loving me so much to not feeling it.

In the context of her eating disorder, she has mentioned that she will be a burden on me and I should find someone who doesn't have a mental illness. But I don't feel that way.

She seems confused about all this as she doesn't have an answer to why she feels like that. She started saying that we might not be right for each other. I ask her why? what changed as you loved me and were planning your future with me a week ago and she doesn't have an answer for that too.

I can't see her depressed as I care about her a lot, so I will do what I can. I am torn between moving on or staying for her, none of which is going to be easy.

Thanks for you wishes.
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
211
Location
new zealand
Hey @Sunshine33,

I'm sorry for your heartbreak, my friend. It's very tough especially when you feel you had fallen in love. I've been there myself, I think three times.

At the end of the day, though, if the lady says it's over, then, unfortunately, that's the thing that needs to be respected. She's given you her reasons, now, whether those reasons make sense to you or not is, to my mind, secondary to the fact that she wishes to break up.

Heartbreak is very, very painful, yes, (((Hugs))) but just be a friend to her now. That's all she wants. She trusts you.
 
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