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my friend....what can i do next

B

berlioz

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Joined
Sep 15, 2008
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17


Hi i am totally worn out and stressed my self (i take fluoxetine, depression).
My best friend has suffered from SAD and depression for many years and it all came to a head last year when her daughter became pregnent, She took tie off work but came back. At new year she ran out of work and refused to come back.
She then took 6 months off work. She takes citalopram and went to see a psyciatrist.
Things have started to get better for her, but last week she found out her husband was having an affair and she kicked him out.
Im being very supportive. We work together and i have been trying to give her other jobs to do to keep her mind of things. Saturday night between 12 midnight and 1am she sent me txts to tell me she was going to kill herself and i was to look after her kids!!.
I finally got intouch with her but she didnt want to talk to me!!!..
Now people at work are complaining we are having t break together and im letting her do easier jobs,

Im exhausted. Im on fluoextine due to bereavements, a son with special needs, and i don't want to seem selfish but it making me lower and affecting my work!!!!.....do i speak to my manager to expain whats going on and het them to support her, I just cant manage it!!

I need some advise.
Thankyou
:hug:
 
T

Twylight

Guest
You have to draw a line somewhere

I've got a friend who has bi-polar disorder she regularly stops her medication and gets seriously ill - she is in denial
This has been goin on for 7 years
But now I've had enough
The only way I can help her - is not to help her
I don't phone her and she rarely phones me
Enough is Enough
 
KP1

KP1

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Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
If she is seeing a psychiatrist it sounds like she has got support from the mental health team.
With regard to work if you are her manager/supervisor then you may have responsibilities. If you are a peer it is more difficult. I would check any company policies. Work can make an Occupational health referal for her if this is appropriate.
 
B

berlioz

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
17
Thanks for the advise.
She stopped seeing the psychiatrist.
Im only her peer at work, which makes things hard!
Ive decided to let my manager know what has been going on, and see if she can start supporting her with a proper work plan.

I want to say enough is enough but i then start to worry if she has no one to turn to and seriously injure herself.

Thankyou for your replies, it helps to talk!
Thankyou:)
 
rollinat

rollinat

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Just replied to your other thread.

Sounds like a good plan to let your manager know what's going on - you can only do so much to help your friend - perhaps the best thing would be to encourage her to return to her GP and maybe see the psychiatrist again. You need to look after yourself too.

Rollinat
 
B

berlioz

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
17
hi
my manager has just rang and ive made an appointment to speak to her and my supervisor today. just so we dont get interupted.

I hope my friend doesnt think im going behind her back. I want to help and support her but as a friend, outside of work. I can't have it affecting my job.
Carn't believe I sitting here on my morning of, this is how much it is affecting me.

Thanks for reading
berlioz
 
D

Dollit

Guest
You have to remember that while it's good that you want to support your friend you aren't responsible for her. She is responsible for herself. Sending a text like that to you was not a good thing to do. She has to take the treatment and make an effort to get well and she has to understand that you have needs too.

By going to your manager you're doing the right thing. It's called tough love and it's the right thing.
 
B

berlioz

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
17
Hi
I did go and see my manager and she was really supportive. She was worried i wasn't coping.
I feel like it is a weight of my mind and fel so much better. Its great to know I can go to work and just get on with my job. I love chatting to her and meeting for coffee etc after work and i will support her then.

My manager wants to see me once a week to see how i am.

She's also going to try and talk to my friend when she has her return to work.

Thanks for all the advise.

Berloz :)
 
lucid scream

lucid scream

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Jan 22, 2008
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good for you berlioz. no matter how much we love someone theres only so much we can do to help before we begin to hurt ourselves. hurt ourselves enough and we cant help anyone.
bottom line is she has to want it enough to try to get it.

stay well. :)
 
B

berlioz

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
17
Hi to All for you advise and support last week.
My friend had her return to work interview!!..disaplinary hearing and things went GREAT.
I sat in with her and we managed to get a really good work plan going for her.
We decided between the three of us to remove her major responsibilities and just to concentrate on her main job!
She is really pleased with this and i think it will help her a great deal.

Thanks to you all for reading my posts. It's true what they say 'it helps to talk'

Now i have to sort my self out!!!!......

:clap:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Well done - you've given your friend positive support and you've recognized that you have to cater to your own needs - Win, Win, I'd say!
 
B

berlioz

Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
17
Hi all

Everyhting seems to be going ok for my friend now. Work is much easier.
Ive up my 'prozac' just for the time being while i try and get my head together, but only in the short term. :hug:
 

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