My friend self harms and i don't know what to do

[vengeance.love]

I found out about 7 months ago that my best friend self harms. i found out on accident, but when i asked her about it she wasn't mad or anything. she talks to me about it a lot and i'm glad she trusts me, but it's gotten a lot worse since and i don't really know how to help her. i just tell her that she shouldn't hate herself like she does. she's also struggling with depression and i let her vent about stuff and occasionally she'll take out her frustration on me. she doesn't realize she does it, but i don't point it out. maybe that's dumb. but i just don't want her to think that the only person who seems to care about her is pissed off. which i'm not. she doesn't feel comfortable going to anybody (parents, therapist, etc.), but she really needs help. she wants to stop but she can't and i feel so helpless becuase there's nothing i can do except watch her self destruct....i just really don't know...

 

[maudikie]

Maudikie

You should try very hard to persuade her to see her G.P.. She is obviously very troubled, and not well. Has there been any incident in her life which could have sparked off her self harm? She does need professional help, so do your best to persuade her.

 

[lozza]

Hi hun, thats sounds quite a hard place to be. But its good that she trusts you . As far as what you can do just keep supporting her maybe giving her other ways like if she has urges to distract herself; reading, having a bath, watching a dvd, going for a walk, seeing you, mates , going shopping etc.

I am not sure were you live etc but if your in the UK and she is over 16 she can go to her gp and her parents wont be told as she is 16. If she is not keen on going to her GP maybe you could go with her to support her?

hope that helps
Lauren xx

 

[lehcar24]

Hi xx

this is a tricky one, why not see if she will write down her feelings and problems and the both of you could go to a doctor and hand over the note.. that way she wont have to say it out loud herself and you will be there with her seeing as she already trusts you ..

also.. if your struggling with it and u dont know how to help her.. maybe u could go to the doctor yourself and get some advise on what you can do to help her.. its all confidential so think about it..

you sound like a really good friend, i wish i had someone back when i really struggled.. but u have to look after yourself too and if she is lettin it out on you maybe u can twist this around into a reason why she should get help.. ?

hope it works out for you xx

 

[starlitskie]

im not saying this would have a happy ending as it did for me but i had a friend who did this. I went straight to the school counseller and they sent her in with me in the room. she didnt hate me for it, and a small something good came out of it, but she never went back to counselling. it did stop her though (til the end of school) and although she still struggles with this and bullimia i am glad that the bad cutting stage stopped.

it could go the opposite and she could hate you for it -- never want to talk to you again -- but for me i knew it was too big for me to deal with and she knew deep down i was getting help. If i was really scared about them then i wouldnt wait with the possibility of me wondering why i never told anyone, did more...