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My friend claims to be bipolar. What do I do?

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Patpat

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Me and my friend have known each other for a while now. Everything was fine when we met, but at some point they started to get annoyed with me for no reason... They go crazy about anything I do or say and I feel like I can't deal with it anymore. They said they were bipolar. I'm not a psychologist and I don't know if that's what affects the way they act towards me. I tried to talk to them about it but they refused to tell me anything about their mental health issues and since they don't want to help me understand them, I don't. We used to be able to talk about anything and now I feel like I need to watch my every word... I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. When I met my friend, I felt like I finally had somebody who understood me. I don't want to lose them but sometimes, when I hear all those painful things they say while being angry, I just want to leave.
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

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Not having anyone else to turn to is not a good reason to stick with someone if the relationship isn't positive, its actually the worst reason that there is because it will make you tolerate things you shouldn't.

I don't have the slightest clue of what your friend may suffer from or not but from what you say the friendship doesn't sound too healthy.

When you have mental issues or are in a rough place in life you may get the feeling that anyone who's willing to stick with you is better than nothing but that's rarely the case, if anything being around negative or toxic people is likely to just make it worse for you.
 
Bosse

Bosse

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You write «they»- are there several friends around you acting like that, and excusing their behaviour by saying they have bipolar? In that case I would seek out for new friends!
If there is only one friend you are writing about, I would be more curious. I can only speak for myself, I tend to easily get annoyed with people when I am down. I have the ability to keep it to myself most of the time tho, and I tend to protect both myself and my sorroundings by toning down on social activities. Anyway bipolar is no excuse to treat people bad. Bipolar doesn’t affect common curtisy by it self. Bad manners do!
I would say to this person that you might not meet when she/he feels like that, and rather contact you when the individual is rational.
Have you ever met this person when in the opposit state than when he/she is rude to you?
 
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BlueWater

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Spectacular English. Maybe you didn't supply your friend with something they badly needed when they were in dire straits and this person is having trouble letting it go despite your apologies. Some things take time. The beautiful thing about this particular forum is that you don't have to have bipolar or think you do to find common ground with and assistance from so many lovely people in this forum.
 
Amazingly

Amazingly

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Having a mental illness is not an excuse for bad behavior.
If this person is becoming toxic to you maybe it’s time to take a break from them for a while.
 
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Patpat

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You write «they»- are there several friends around you acting like that, and excusing their behaviour by saying they have bipolar? In that case I would seek out for new friends!
If there is only one friend you are writing about, I would be more curious. I can only speak for myself, I tend to easily get annoyed with people when I am down. I have the ability to keep it to myself most of the time tho, and I tend to protect both myself and my sorroundings by toning down on social activities. Anyway bipolar is no excuse to treat people bad. Bipolar doesn’t affect common curtisy by it self. Bad manners do!
I would say to this person that you might not meet when she/he feels like that, and rather contact you when the individual is rational.
Have you ever met this person when in the opposit state than when he/she is rude to you?

I was talking about one person. I just didn't want to reveal their gender :) Have I ever met this person on the opposite state than when they're rude to me? Yes. They used to be kind and supportive but it was a long time ago... Thank you for your answer! :)
 
Wishbone

Wishbone

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The only thing you can do is try to offer the olive branch and see if they will open up to you about what they have and how they feel. You would have to choose your timing wisely as there are certain times when people will absolutely not want to talk about things and other times when they might be more open to doing so. Be calm, be polite and respectful and just say that you want to be a friend and be there for them if possible, and if they want to talk, then cool. They can then choose to take it or leave it, but don't feel like you have to do this; if they don't want the help and won't change how they are towards you, you are not bound to be their whipping boy/girl.
 
Bosse

Bosse

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I was talking about one person. I just didn't want to reveal their gender :) Have I ever met this person on the opposite state than when they're rude to me? Yes. They used to be kind and supportive but it was a long time ago... Thank you for your answer! :)

Aha! Sorry- my english is limited. I got a bit confused, but has learned something new now. Thank you for that 🤗
If it is a long time since this person has been nice to you, it seems to me that you need to have a talk about it. The situation might dry you out, and definately add burdens on you, and that is contraproductive on your mental health. Hiding behind a diagnosis can be a unsound way to justify simply bad behaviour…
 

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