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My first post - feeling lonley and depressed.

P

Peter H

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Dorset, England
Hi,

So as the title says this is my first post - I have never done this type of thing before and in a way feel kind of embarrassed even sharing my problems online.

Anyway my name is Peter and im 36 years old - and basically I am feeling extremely lonely and somewhat depressed. I recently (6 days ago) asked my girlfriend of 5 years to leave our home (which she did). I cared for her greatly but felt that our relationship was not something I wanted to be a part of in the long term, I believe she also felt the same way as it took very little convincing for her to go - I do feel that splitting up was the right thing to do.

The issue I have now is that I am feeling extremely lonely - I mean I am waking up and almost instantly feeling down, tearing up over the slightest thing - for example I called the Samaritans for the first time ever earlier today and as soon as the lady on the phone said, "you are struggling" I could not help but burst into tears. I can feel myslef welling up as I write this - all these feelings are overwhelming. I am not a person whom usually cries or feels sad - these strong depressive feeelings are very hard to deal with.

I am living alone in our house now, I live in Dorset, England and am in a very isolated location... I cant even get to the shops and have to rely on my father to take me (I have recently been banned from driving). I am looking to move to a flat of my own but in the interim I cannot escape these feelings.

I dont know what I am looking for from posting this - I just need cheering up I suppose.

For anyone else experiencing these kind lows I sympathise with you - it truly is very hard to deal with.

Pete
 
R

R2Y5A0N2

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 7, 2015
Messages
233
Location
London
Things can and will get better. You should talk to your GP asap and explain how you feel openly and honestly and they should listen and take you seriously. Try self-referring for counselling if you feel that might be supportive. You are not alone even though it can be lonely and dark. Talk to someone you feel comfortable with and can trust, for example; a family member or close friend. I wish you all the best and hope things get better for you soon x
 
L

Laudanum

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
92
Location
Surrey
Hi Peter, sorry you're feeling down.

It's not really surprising you are feeling down after what has happened. It's probable you are feeling the inevitable sadness after your break up.

Cognitive therapists tell us that depression comes from distorted cognitions (thoughts), which are rarely true, such as 'I'll never get over this' or 'this always happens to me'. These cognitions can usually be challenged, and depression won't lift until they are successfully challenged.

However, healthy sadness is a natural result of loss, and comes from realistic thoughts, such as 'I will miss her', and will heal in time.

It sounds like you are thinking rationally and need some support. Do you have any close friends/family you could confide in?
 
A

Abdn

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2019
Messages
61
Location
Aberdeen
Hi Peter,

I know how you are feeling as I have had a similar experience recently as well. It’s worse if you are alone and feeling lonely too. You’ve done the right thing by writing how you feel.
 
P

Peter H

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Dorset, England
Hi, thanks for the replies - I appeciate you taking the time. I dont really have any people to speak to about my feelings, hence why I posted on here... I did call the Samaritans (which I have never done before) but really I did not find them very useful.

I am considering seeing a GP - I feel like I may get fobbed off somewhat but then I guess I should not be presumptuous.

I think I need to move and quickly - being in such a remote locations is not condusive to positive thought I think.

Thanks again for your replies guys.
 
P

Peter H

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
6
Location
Dorset, England
Telling people how I feel - on here I mean does feel cathartic... I have other issues going on too... some drug abuse problems that I am concerned will worsen (I thought asking me girlfriend to leave would help ((she also had issues)) but now I am worried it may have the opposite effect)... I know I need to seek help for this issue.
 
T

Trekster33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
134
Location
South West UK
There are some mental health services that treat what's called 'dual diagnosis' ie drug or alcohol problems with poor mental health. Look up "dual diagnosis" + "(your county)" to see if there's any in your area.
 
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