My fate to die?

AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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So sorry Wave :hug:

Glad you could share here. It's early days, but maybe talking more about your loss will help, if/when you feel ok with that? People don't always know what to say when you tell them (I mean the person you've told), so it doesn't always help with the feelings in the moment, but maybe in time it will :hug: As for what to do for the best, be gentle with yourself if you can, you've had an 'injury', a deeply felt emotional one, you need rest, recuperation and gentle treatment from yourself to feel a bit better. Treat yourself well & look after yourself as much as you can, I know it's so painful to lose someone you loved, and the hurt doesn't heal easily or quickly, or ever really fully, but in time it becomes less raw I think xx
 
W

Waverunner

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So sorry Wave :hug:

Glad you could share here. It's early days, but maybe talking more about your loss will help, if/when you feel ok with that? People don't always know what to say when you tell them (I mean the person you've told), so it doesn't always help with the feelings in the moment, but maybe in time it will :hug: As for what to do for the best, be gentle with yourself if you can, you've had an 'injury', a deeply felt emotional one, you need rest, recuperation and gentle treatment from yourself to feel a bit better. Treat yourself well & look after yourself as much as you can, I know it's so painful to lose someone you loved, and the hurt doesn't heal easily or quickly, or ever really fully, but in time it becomes less raw I think xx
Thanks for the wise words Alice. Sadly I'm not very good at being gentle with myself or caring for myself. I'm feeling lost and directionless, like a yacht with no rudder on stormy seas.
 
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Jules5

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It is awful to lose someone you cared about. I believe in an afterlife and I know the ones that go before us are watching us this very second. I always see a dragonfly when I am really down and out about life and this reminds me of a dear friend who committed suicide. Her favorites thing was dragonflies so she is always with me and cheering me on on my dark lonely days. So hang on to something from that person and you will see it again whatever it might be, Love and hugs
 
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Waverunner

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Thanks Midnight and Jules, appreciate the kind words.

Thanks Alice. I'm struggling. It is the funeral today. In another country and I can't be there.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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Oh that's hard that you can't go. Did you/will you mark it some other way by yourself? When someone I loved died, I went to the beach and burnt joss paper with memories written on, and drank a toast. Alternative funeral ceremonies of sorts. Last time I couldn't go to a funeral I ate a relevant meal in my friend's memory (sounds trivial but it meant something to me, it felt important and right to do, a mark of respect). Would something like that help? It needn't be outdoors, at home alone would be the same.

How are you with feeling lost and directionless? It's very early days, so it would be normal to, and bereavement brings up all sorts of other sorrows and losses. Sorry, I know you know that :hug: I know it's hard to be kind and caring with yourself, but try to allow your feelings as valid if you can. Feel however you want to feel/do feel, nothing is 'not allowed' or 'wrong' when it comes to grief :hug: xx
 
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Waverunner

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Thanks Alice. I did mark the funeral in my own way. Still hard not being there.

Still struggling. Feel very alone with it all.
 
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