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My fate to die?

BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

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Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,160
Therapist talking referral to Home Treatment Team, I'm fighting this but not sure I'll win. Terrified! Saw GP (not the one I had booked with as they unilaterally changed who I was seeing without telling me :stomp::stomp:). Anyway, one I saw sent me to hospital for x-ray, will also write to the consultant re symptoms and the she called while I was at the hospital to let me know she'd been looking at my records after I left and she prescribed high dose vit D because she didn't think what I was taking was enough. We'll see what happens.
that's good about the Vitamin D, you will be surprised how much difference it makes to your depression.

I was found to be very low and it wrecked my life, my health etc.

Also I just wanted to say I was in a lot of pain pretty much 24/7 and a brilliant wee GP put me on amitriptyline and now I'm Pain Free and sleeping again :dance:
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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Jan 25, 2012
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Therapist talking referral to Home Treatment Team, I'm fighting this but not sure I'll win. Terrified! Saw GP (not the one I had booked with as they unilaterally changed who I was seeing without telling me :stomp::stomp:). Anyway, one I saw sent me to hospital for x-ray, will also write to the consultant re symptoms and the she called while I was at the hospital to let me know she'd been looking at my records after I left and she prescribed high dose vit D because she didn't think what I was taking was enough. We'll see what happens.
I'm glad the gp took some action about your pain (even if it wasn't the one you'd booked to see :( ), hopefully this will be the start of it being taken more seriously and a solution being found. Hopefully the vitamin D will make a difference, I know it's often said people aren't getting enough vitamin D and don't realise, I can't remember what the downsides are if you're not getting enough?

I'm sorry you're terrified about the possibility of the Home Treatment Team, what is it that you're most worried will happen if they come to see you? I hope if you do get referred that it turns out to be helpful, hopefully it will be a positive thing. I'm glad you're being up front with your therapist about how you're feeling, I realise it's not easy and takes some courage and trust, and I think she's right to be concerned about you and considering whether you might need input from other people.

Stay safe Wave, I hope the weekend is kind to you, and remember to be kind to yourself too :hug: x
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Dec 21, 2012
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Another planet
Just wanted to say thankyou very much for your support. I know you are fighting your own battles. Hope you get through safely and better times come xx
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
Messages
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Just wanted to say thankyou very much for your support. I know you are fighting your own battles. Hope you get through safely and better times come xx
Thanks ScaredCat, I wish I could offer more support.
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
Messages
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I'm glad the gp took some action about your pain (even if it wasn't the one you'd booked to see :( ), hopefully this will be the start of it being taken more seriously and a solution being found. Hopefully the vitamin D will make a difference, I know it's often said people aren't getting enough vitamin D and don't realise, I can't remember what the downsides are if you're not getting enough?

I'm sorry you're terrified about the possibility of the Home Treatment Team, what is it that you're most worried will happen if they come to see you? I hope if you do get referred that it turns out to be helpful, hopefully it will be a positive thing. I'm glad you're being up front with your therapist about how you're feeling, I realise it's not easy and takes some courage and trust, and I think she's right to be concerned about you and considering whether you might need input from other people.

Stay safe Wave, I hope the weekend is kind to you, and remember to be kind to yourself too :hug: x
The pain could actually be a symptom of low Vit D. I think that's why the gp called me after I'd left to say she prescribed a "rapid correction dose". Thing is, I was taking vit d and I haven't been tested since then so I hope this doesn't push the levels too high as I believe that's also bad for you.

Re the HTT - just hear so many nightmare stories. But mostly, I'm afraid of judgement I guess. Also don't want to see/ speak to a different person each time. I'm better when I can build a relationship with someone and the system doesn't allow that. Also scared of hospital and being forced onto meds. I do understand my therapists concern and realise I've put her in a difficult position. That doesn't mean I want to enter the system. I feel like I will be going to the next sesssion and putting my head on the chopping block. It will be make or break and potentially my last session so I get her anxiety. I wish I could reasssure her but just can't make that promise at the moment. Don't know anymore.
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Joined
Oct 21, 2014
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2,090
Location
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Hi wave

Just looked in and checked your thread.

Sorry about pain, glad GP is looking into things.

Vit D - mine was v low, told GP I was worried about taking high dose, he said even after taking for a year it is not likely to be too high! Can check at intervals anyway.

Re HTT and hospital - does help many people (don't go by my example). Worth a try, could make all the difference. If it doesn't you haven't lost anything. You can stop drugs if they start you on something and it doesn't help.

I hope you do get some help, and find kind people. With HTT you can say you would like to see the same small group (with some teams, anyway). If you do go to hospital, you can always find some kind ward staff. Also ask to continue psychological input on the ward.

Thinking of you xxx hugs xxx Sarah
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
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Thanks SarahD. I think I'm happy taking the vit d, it seems to have helped the pain already so gp was probably right.

I've been on meds before, they didn't help and I don't want to be forced to take them now. I think this would happen in hospital. But also, I think I would see hospital as the end for me if I went in.

HTT- just don't like the system. Dont want some rushed person ticking a box for 5 minutes. Guess we will see what happens.
 
A

amialone

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Feb 13, 2017
Messages
17
I feel like I'm going to die too, but it doesn't have to be so dark. Life is how you make it I feel completely trapped or check mated by someone in my life. humans are so tiny in this world, its hard to make a difference if you talk to the people you think love you it will just bring them down, I live with my mom and step dad. And if it wasn't for them I'd probably be homeless, and I feel like I'm never going to win. no matter what I try to do I feel like I'm going to lose. I don't feel special at all, and its hard for people to connect now a days cause they don't want relationships or friend ships cause they have been hurt so many times before, they have trust issues. And I don't blame them truth is I'm afraid too, and just know that your not alone in this world. There is people out there exactly like you and are going threw similar problems. I was bullied my whole life, and people think I'm a little slow. And some people don't really understand Mental Illness. But some people do, and then some people just don't care. If any one on here wants to connect with me, I'm open to conversation and will actually care about people. As I feel alone aswell.
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
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Feel like tomorrow will be important as my therapist will make a decision about the HTT referral. Feeling very anxious and trapped. Don't want to go but know that will make it worse.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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I'm glad to hear the Vit D is making a difference already.

I can understand you being afraid of judgement, and of getting drawn into the system, and feeling like you're part of a box ticking exercise. I wouldn't like different people coming each time either, but as Sarah says, hopefully you would get some kind ones.

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious and trapped about your therapy session today, will be thinking of you. I hope it goes ok, and you can feel your views are taken into account by your therapist on what you want to happen, and what will keep you safe :hug:
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
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The pain is still there and has increased towards the end of this week. I'm due my next large dose of vit d tomorrow so hopefully it will help. Not sure if this is the cause (of some of it at least).

No referral to HTT but therapist spoke to GP. I'm supposed to call and make an appointment with the GP. For someone who struggles to use the phone and in particular when it comes to speaking with reception at the surgery (they're usually just rude), that is so not going to happen.

Feeling more than useless and a failure now. So low, feel I may as well just follow the plan.
 
W

Waverunner

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Feb 1, 2015
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Why do I do this to myself? I know it's going to hurt yet I come back for more.
 
AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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I'm sorry you're feeling so low Wave. It's been a very tough day for you. Hope you can hang in there :hug: x
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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Dec 21, 2012
Messages
8,319
Location
Another planet
Hope vit d does help. I started taking it but then stopped . Have started again now so hopefully it will help. Will gp ring you if you don't make appt? Wish you felt better xx
 
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