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My family doesn't understand (potentially triggering -sorry)

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LittleMissNameless

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
48
Location
canada
I was hospitalized around 7 months ago after I tried to kill myself and while I was there I lost my place and had to move in with my estranged grandmother and mother and they know now that I self harm.
Before they knew I was the most responsible most respectable most independent person in my family everyone came to me to take care of them and now they're micromanaging my life
Doing ridiculous stuff like locking up knives and not letting me use scissors alone.
It's ridiculous and it just makes me want to self harm more because I feel have stolen a huge piece of my independence I've had my whole life.
Maybe if they had been better parents and support systems when I was being raped at 6 years old or hadn't of left me with my dad who kicked the crap out of me throughout high school I wouldn't be here.
I dont need them micromanaging my life, because of them I've been on my own my whole life and the only good thing that came out of it was he freedom they're stealing from me.
 
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Roseessa

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
98
Location
Nottingham
Hi,
First of all just because you self harmed doesn't mean you are no longer those things, you are.
Have you tried talking to them? Telling them how them doing those things just makes you want to do it more?
Have you spoken to them or have YOU even dealt with the other stuff that happened to you, the rape and the beatings?
 
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LittleMissNameless

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
48
Location
canada
Hi,
First of all just because you self harmed doesn't mean you are no longer those things, you are.
Have you tried talking to them? Telling them how them doing those things just makes you want to do it more?
Have you spoken to them or have YOU even dealt with the other stuff that happened to you, the rape and the beatings?
Yes I have but they don't believe me. They also don't believe in mental health drugs so they tell me not to take my meds.
I didn't mean to go off in this post but I have dealt with a lot of the trauma 5 years of therapy I still have more to do but I just got mad for a minute about the injustice of it all.
 
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Roseessa

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
98
Location
Nottingham
It's okay, you can go off all you want. Vent and let it all out, it might help you.
If you feel meds help then take them. Ignore what they say, you have to do what is best for you.
I hope you are feeling better.
 
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LittleMissNameless

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
48
Location
canada
It's okay, you can go off all you want. Vent and let it all out, it might help you.
If you feel meds help then take them. Ignore what they say, you have to do what is best for you.
I hope you are feeling better.
Thanks for he support, on good days I know that it doesn't matter what they say -they just don't understand and I've been to counselling and established that I have to have realistic expectations of them. They're never Gunna be what I wish they could be but on bad days the things they tell me feed my fears and disorders and it sucks but I'm feeling better today.
 
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Ell

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Mexico
Almost same situation there was no one there when I was raped at the age of 4 but now that I'm 17 I got a baby monitor and can't go anywhere alone
 
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dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,015
They are trying to protect you, in the way they once failed to.
Maybe trying to go back in time. And undo what was done.
Maybe they can't accept it's too late to change the past.
But YOU can change your future.
YOU can live in the present.
You have been through a lot.
I feel that you have been through a lot of pain, a lot of pain.
If you want to, I believe you can overcome this.
You're in the right place, you're supported here.
You can move forward
xxx
 
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dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,015
Sending you love and compassion xx
 
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