My experience in the mental health system

H

HappeningNow

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2015
Messages
3
I'm here to discuss my experiences in mental hospitals and such and hopefully get some feedback from it. Anyways, the first time I went to the mental hospital was when I was 17-18yrs old after temporarily dropping out of high school and it was a scary and downhill moment for me. I had got sent there for binging on my parent's alcohol and was acting really drunk. Without me knowing, my parents had come home and I was still drunk and acting crazy, but before I knew it they were in my room and I just couldn't control myself. They had decided to send me to the emergency room for some reason and then from there a day later they transferred me to a place called Kingwood Pines in Kingwood, Texas.

Now I had been drinking like this on and off since I was 13 yrs old, but the difference was that they thought I had been doing this too much so now they decided to do something about it. At the hospital I was in AA and also diagnosed with depression. I was there for about 2 weeks I think and was in the minimum security section of the hospital. I met some nice kids/adults who really didn't seem mentally ill or anything like it in the process and they had really interesting personalities and were also real intelligent.
Anyways, the doctors had put me on an antidepressant(lexapro), antipsychotic(seroquel) and a sleeping pill which I can't remember the name of, but that was only for the first few days I was there. After a while I had got bored of being there and really wanted to go, but it was confusing figuring out how to call my parents and setup the leaving arrangements. I think my parents wanted me to stay there for months at a time, but I can't remember tbh(probably from the memory deficits that a year of antipsychotic use has caused to my memory). So this was the first time I had been sent to the mental hospital and it wasn't too bad, but really the worst part of being in the mental health system IMO is having to discuss things with your psychiatrist since they just do not negotiate things real well.
After this happened I went to outpatient for a couple of days, but decided to stop going since I decided I did not need to do this anymore. I was still out of high school my senior for about 1 year until the second incident that brought me to a different private behavioral hospital had happened. It was an incident with my parents again and this time there was no alcohol involved. It had to do with me hurting my mom in the face a couple of times and chasing her out of the house because she didn't listen to me about removing the junk food from the house and also it was from kempt up rage about her not respecting me enough or never listening to me.
Prior to this, when I was dropped out of school I would fly into fits of rage about my situation in life(I had done badly in school since 9th grade and didn't have friends and didn't really do much besides go to school) and hit the wall. I was immature and didn't understand what it meant to work and pay for something yet so I just thought I could do whatever I wanted and get away with it since I was just barely considered an adult. This was also the case with my mom because for some reason I hated her and just wanted to pulverize her to vent out all of my steamy emotions towards her. Anyways, after I had done that the police were called and I was taken to jail which I stayed in for about 2 weeks.

In there it was so extremely boring and stressful because the inmates were unpredictable. I was being held in a tank full of grown men upwards in their 50's and twice two men were beaten badly for some miniscule reason about bread being stolen or something like that. There was no toilet paper or soap and we had to shower two at a time in front of each other. On top of this, the guy sleeping on the bunk below me was an ex neo-nazi I think and was a real asshole. He would constantly kick the bottom of my bed and ask what I was doing all night long until he fell asleep. He also at point asked me to give him oral sex, but I couldn't really tell if he was being serious. He was really tall and big so it was kind of frightening to think this guy could potentially rape or humiliate me in front of all the other inmates which could make things harder in the time to come. This same guy beat the other two inmates I spoke of earlier so bad that and they had to be transferred to another tank. He of course just got a slap on the wrist.
Anyways after jail I was transferred to another private mental hospital on terms of the bond. This time they gave me a heavy dose of seroquel to put me to sleep and some prozac. The antipsychotic made me lose feelings in my feet and hands and I was scared about what it was doing to my mind and body. I also saw some really screwed up people in there who were like highly mentally-disabled or something like that, there were no longer any interesting people to hang out with.
After the time here I was diagnosed with Bipolar with psychotic features and was expected to take antipsychotics for the rest of my life. I wasn't convicted of a crime thankfully because of the lawyer that my dad paid for was really good and expensive. So I took the drugs for about 6 months after switching psychiatrists and being allowed to get off of them and this was a real blessing. I had gained 30lbs on the drugs and started to see signs of tardive dyskinesia which scared me again. The drugs didn't make feel good and I felt so disappoitned in how my life turned out again. I couldn't respond to pleasurable activities real well and had almost no sexual feelings. It was hell on earth. I knew my future was going to be compromised If I continued to take these drugs, I would be in a whole host of health problems I never before could envision myself as having If I continued this path on for the rest of my miserable life.
So after this it was about another year until I decided without any real incident of trouble to go back to the mental hospital because of my parents pressuring me to. This time I had taken the drugs again and the tardive dyskinesia got worse. My relationship with my mother has improved and we no longer fight and I would dare not hurt her in any way. I feel sick about what I did off the drugs and wish I never did that and had to experience the hell that was the consequences of my immature and stupid actions. I now work and go to college with the goal of moving out in the next year or two at the age of 22 yrs old. Hopefully I do sustain any long-term damage to my brain or body from the drugs I took and hopefully I live a happy, prosperous life in the years to come without any engagement with mental-health hospitals or drugs.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Nikita

Nikita

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
4,931
Hello HappeningNow:welcome:

I don't think you should ever have been admitted to a mental hospital due to drinking alcohol and it doesn't sound to me that the behavior you displayed as described anywhere in your post above is due to mental illness.
I don't think you hitting your mum was down to mental illness.
I am sorry you were placed in mental hospitals and especially that you were taken to jail with the neo nazi.
I have had to put up with neo nazis in mental hospitals too cos unfortunately a lot of them are criminally insane and they are put with us non offenders in the same hospitals in the UK.
Also I don't think they should have given you psychiatric drugs and especially I am sorry about the side effect tardsive dykensia,it is a worry for everyone on drugs what they do to our physical health.
I am glad you are turning things around,going to college and aiming to get your own place.I hope all goes well for you.I wish your parents had had the sense not to send you to mental hospitals but found you appropriate help outside that system for your drinking and behavioral issues.
I hope you stay here on the forum and find us supportive.
All the best.Nikitax
 
H

HappeningNow

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2015
Messages
3
Ok so I didn't mean to say I wanted to be damaged by the drugs at the end of my story. I meant to say I didn't want to be damaged by them long-term. Also, thanks Nikita for your reply. I agree wholly with what you said and that is my opinion too, verbatim. That is why I need to move out because after all these years they still completely are on the side of psychiatry with no qualms about it and don't really consider my feelings or experiences.
 
Top