My ex-wife talks in her sleep..... and she's a completely different person

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C

Confused and Concerned

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#1
This story may seem outlandish, but it's absolutely the truth.

Several years ago, about 6 or 8 months into my relationship with Cindy (not her real name), i had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and when I laid back down, I leaned over and gave her a little kiss, which to my surprise was returned very passionately. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Like, really good sex. Some of the best we'd had. When it was over, we cuddled up and I went back to sleep.

The next morning is when things became very strange. As we were getting out of bed, she asked me, "Did we have sex last night?" I kind of thought she was kidding at first, but then realized that she was serious. I told her what had happened and she said that she didn't remember any of it. I thought it was pretty odd, but didn't think too much about it.

A week or so later, she had fallen asleep, but I was still awake watching TV. We were lying close together and after a little while, she started getting handsy and I jokingly asked her if she was going to remember it this time, to which she mumbled something and kept going and before I knew it, we were going at it again. When we were through, I asked her again, "Are you going to remember this time", she replied, "She'll probably know something happened".

Now I'm really confused. "Who's 'she'?", I asked. "Cindy. She'll probably know", she said. I asked her who she was, then if she's not Cindy. She told me she didn't have a name. When I started asking more questions, she told me that there are some things she didn't know because she "only knows what she (Cindy) leaves up here".

What she did know was a few things that even Cindy didn't. She repeated word for word conversaions that I'd had on the phone when Cindy had been asleep. Cindy had once told me that when she was 16, a family friend had given her some liquor. After she had taken it home and drank it, she passed out. When she woke up, she was sore and suspected that he had drugged her and came in after she was unconscious and raped her. The "sleeping Cindy" not only confirmed that had indeed been the case, but told me that he had been very rough and that she knew the booze was dosed because, "I couldn't wake her up, and I can usually wake her up".

She would "come out" every so often while we were together, and many times Cindy would wake up feeling like she had been up all night. She also told me not to tell Cindy about her because, "She'll think she's crazy".

After a while, I did everything possible to avoid bringing her out.

We divorced a while later and she moved to Texas. About a year ago, she moved back to the area and recently I've been driving the hour and a half to visit her and our son. In the years that we were apart, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is taking medication for it.

Two weeks ago, I was staying over and I was with her in bed. Our relationship isn't of a sexual nature now, but we sleep in the same bed while I'm there. Anyway, I was lying there as she was sleeping, and, not thinking, I just said, "Damn, I've really missed you". She started to mumble something and I kind of freaked and left the room for a while, not wanting to bring "Sleeping Cindy" out. I really didn't think she was still in there with all the meds she takes, but thay girl is still in there.

Does anyone know what is going on?
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
There is a condition called DID where a person has more than one personality which takes over at times. Its usually created as a result of abuse to "split off" the pain and cope with it. So one part of the person is really in control most of the time, but the other one flares into sight if anything is dangerous or in need of control.

I am not saying that your ex wife has this, no-one can diagnose on a forum, but its just a known condition that might explain things. HOWEVER, I think a lot of us have many different aspects to us which can surface at times. I know that I can cope with things brilliantly if I put my "nurses" hat on and when I don't, I easily get distraught over things.

I don't know the answer to your ex but it doesn't seem to be a concern to her, so don't worry about it I would advise and don't tell her. She doesn't need to know unless she asks.
 
C

Confused and Concerned

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#3
Thank you for your thoughts on the subject. I read a couple of descriptions of DID and it could be some form of it.

As far as I know, that part of her only comes out while she sleeps. Even then, it takes a little coaxing to bring it out completely. Once she
 
C

Confused and Concerned

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#4
Once she's out, she's out, though. I started becoming more concerned when she started wanting to do things like go out. Also, she can't see when she's like that. As curious as I am to talk to her again, I can't because her sex drive is off the charts when that side comes out. As far as I know, that part of her only comes out while she sleeps and I am the only one that she's ever talked to.