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My ex boyfriend needs some help

B

Becc

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
4
Hey there,

A few months ago I finished with my boyfriend of two years because of a number of things.

- He had a serious lack of motivation, and eventually became quite neglectful and I didnt feel that he was interested anymore. He stopped going to university and eventually got withdrawn, he didn't work, didnt' clean, didn't take care of himself like wash regularly and get his hair cut and didnt eat properly. He became so unfit and was tired all the time. I was doing a lot for him. I was also working really hard to get into art college, so i was very busy.

-he has had a history with obsession, with other girls before me.

- when I started to become a bit depressed and started to hint that i was going to leave, he used a lot of emotional blackmail. He went crazy, wrecked things, yelled and roared at himself and said he was going to commit suicide.

so I stayed.

- I discovered hoards of various kinds of very perverted porn. He knew porn was a touchy thing with me. But there was a lot of sexual fantasies he kept hidden from me and this hurt me a lot.

so I left. The night I left he went to go and kill himself. But he didnt, that was lucky.

Now, he is not doing too well at all. And we were just talking there and he just admitted that he thinks he has another personality, like an angry self and a normal self. And sometimes the angry self separates from him and makes him do and think very strange things about sex. He is also generally very angry and has a lot of rage.

Another thing he added was that he is unsure about what is "real". That "with the technology of today, we could be living in a simulation and this could be all make believe"

... sorry for the essay, but what can I do!? This is all so odd. I know the people he knows and he doesnt know many people. I think i am the only person that listens to him.

How should he go about contacting someone to talk to? Are there any signs in the things I have described?

Thanks.
x
 
B

Becc

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
4
oh and i forgot to add.

He also hurt himself by scratching his chest with a knife lots of times. And he banged his face against a door when I hinted about leaving.

...yeah.
 
companion

companion

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
124
Location
Manchester, UK
Hi,

Sounds like a very difficult position you are in. I think from what you have said that your ex-boyfriend would benefit from discussing his feelings with a professional such as a GP. It must be tough on you, but you are being remarkably strong by supporting him at this difficult time. Its good that he feels that he can talk to you about how he is really feeling and why. I am sure your ex-boyfriend is probably feeling pretty scared right now.

I hope that this helps a little. The GP would be the best starting point, but just remember your needs in all this too. Good luck.

Regards,

Companion
 
B

Becc

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
4
Yeah I told him to go to his GP. But he doesnt know HOW TO.

I said phone his gp, or go in after work since he finishes at 3pm. And make an appointment. But he stupidly asked his mum and dad about opening and closing times of the clinics. As if he couldnt find that out himself :S Now they're on his back asking him questions. He seriously lacks common sense when it comes to doing normal things like booking appointments. He said he had to tell his mum, and he'll need to ask her for the number for the clinic, so he said he'd wait till he moves to another city, which will be happening this month. But... it'll be the same!! He'll STILL have to go about making the appointment in the SAME WAY there as he would where he is now!! But he is avoiding it.

I am his ex-girlfriend now.. so to some extent I feel that I really shouldnt have to be doing this, but I do care about him. I am seeing another guy, it was a guy we both knew during our relationship, but me and this guy only became romantically involved about a week ago.. he found out and started calling me a whore and giving me all sorts of abuse. He isnt over me.. so I dont know if me being there for him will hurt him cause I am seeing someone else, and he is vulnerable to going mad at me at times.

thanks
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
I would suggest a couple of things. Firstly keep yourself safe if there is any risk to you from him. Secondly if he is agreeable you could ring the GP yourself and talk to him about your concerns and ask that he makes contact with him. Sometimes if you are mentally unwell it is that first step to get help that is the hardest.
Also if he is becoming very unwell he may need support from his mum and family and its more their responsibility than yours. Hope this helps I'm sure other people will have some suggestions as well.
Take care. KP
 
Last edited:
W

White Dragon

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
141
Location
Norwich
I wish you well. And like KP said, make sure your safety comes first.
 
dollylama

dollylama

Active member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
43
Maybe you should try to find out more about his childhood? He sounds like he was molested or even physically abused or something.:unsure: Does he get along well with his family or is he from a dysfunctional one?
 
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