My ED & me.

RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
2,374
Location
A city in a country.
#1
Why is it, that it only takes one tiny little thing to make me go mental & feel like crap.
The only stable thing who hasn't hurt me in my life is my ED.
Why do people want me to get better & move on when it's the one thing that has never let me down and always been there for me.
She's helped me.
I went shopping with my friends the other day & they said 'I hate being so fat, I wish I was skinny like you.' SKINNY, I got called skinny!!!!!! I have never been called that. I felt bad that my friend's had to go to the bigger section to get a size 20 and I was buying size 10 but I have never been called that ever.
So my ED had helped me, why should I get rid of her?

What the hell is wrong with me? Last night I was fine & now I feel like crap :(
 
J

jaxie40

Guest
#2
Hey RedRose. Hunni, your ED IS hurting you both physically and mentally. She's controlling you, though you probably feel like you're the one in control. She's fooling you, and when you're ready, you will look back and see that.

:grouphug:
 
L

LeeMarie

Well-known member
Joined
May 17, 2012
Messages
805
Location
U.S.
#3
Hi RedRoseBeauty - I think you know that your ED has not helped you. The hardest part of breaking free is the illusion and ED creates in your mind. Even in the midst of my own struggle, I know deep down it's destructive. My brain would be able to think much clearer without my ED. But, that's the vicious cycle - we use our EDs to cope with the depression and the depression cannot get better without breaking free of the ED. I hope you feel better soon! - Lee
 
RedRoseBeauty

RedRoseBeauty

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
2,374
Location
A city in a country.
#4
Thank you both!
I guess I know it is slowly destroying every aspect of my life.
Relationships, friendships my own sanity but like I said when everyone else has turned their back on me she has been there.
If I let her go I will have nobody when everyone gets sick of that girl who is never happy.
I've wrecked my family & I wrecked that just by being born.
My ED is just another aspect for me to wreck everything.
 
J

jaxie40

Guest
#5
Please stop giving yourself such a hard time RedRose. I know it's easy for me to say, but I understand. I don't have a great relationship with my parents, and sometimes wonder why they ever kept. me. I was a mistake. I'm not the daughter they want me to be, and I never will be.

Just keep posting on here, hun :hug: