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My doctor changed my diagnosis and he told my parents and not me (I'm 24)

static void

static void

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Jun 9, 2018
Messages
259
My doctor changed my diagnosis and he told my parents and not me (I'm 24)

My doctor is two hours away and I can't drive alone to his studio because I'm not used to driving for such long distances. So I go with parents, my father drives because my mom is just as fearful of driving for long periods of time as I am.
Sometimes the doctor asks my parents to come in to the studio, so that he could talk to them alone. I do not oppose it, because I don't see anything wrong with it.
Except one time the doctor told them that I have bipolar as opposed to my initial diagnosis of major depression, and he told them to keep it a secret from me (I only found out because I had to go to the ER and my mother had to speak for me). I don't know why he didn't tell me, but I have a few ideas:
1. he doesn't think it would help (not his call but ok)
2. he's not really sure what to tell me (because he doesn't have a mouth?)
3. he expects the clients to ask what their diagnosis is (I never asked because I was still convinced that I was recovering from MD, so this doesn't make sense).

The thing that bothers is that it all was supposed to unfold behind my back, and it's publicly known that I'm not for not condoning this type of bullshit behaviour.

By doing all that my doctor is either:
1. insulting my intelligence
2. insulting my maturity
3. making decisions that are not up to him, expecially when he doesn't know me or how I could react to news. I'm saying this because when I go there I only explain my physical symptoms, as I feel there's no need to chit chat like I do with my friends.

Let me make a point for why I need to know my diagnosis.
- I want to be able to tell him if the diagnosis is correct ( I don't really talk to him about my personal life, about goes on inside my head, if I have hypomania or mania or I'm just happy because I joked with parents that morning, so I need to talk to him)
-I want to know my diagnosis because of a phrase that's stuck in my head since I was little: "know yourself", so that you can grow as a person. Also knowing my diagnosis would help me to identify the triggers of mania (which I never thought was wrong, I came in for depression not for being happy) to help me better manage this illness.
-I also need to know why I'm taking the medication. When I ask he explains with 4 or 5 words, which I think is really rude. He didn't explain to me what they, or how they work in conjunction, I had to do the reserch on my own. And I could't ask any questions about it because he would dismiss me immediately. The internet is not my doctor, he is.

I want to confront him. If he did something to hurt me I want to hear his apologies or else I will get another psychiatrist. One thing I know for sure is that I'm not gonna live with my mental illness with kind words that skirt the issue- I'm gonna live with it well when I finally stand up to the reality of it, no matter how unpleasant the problem, the doctor, thinks it is.

I only have one problem: I have bad communication skills because I haven't talked at all to people for 8 years. So I'm asking your help. What is an assertive way in which I can aproach the discussion? What words do I say?
 
H

Helena1

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Have you given him permission to discuss your health with your parents?

I would just say something like 'My mother has told me you have diagnosed me with bipolar disorder, is that correct?'
Then 'Why did you tell my parents not to tell me about this new diagnosis? or 'why did you not tell me about this change in diagnosis?'

Sometimes they don't tell you about a diagnosis, if they think knowing would damage your mental health.

when he has said a reason, you can refute it and say you wish to be informed of any changes in your diagnosis in future.
 
static void

static void

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Joined
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Messages
259
When I was 17 I was suicidal and that doctor took me in his care. He had to talk to my parents because when someone plans to hurt themselves or others, the privacy law allows this kind of conduct.
The thing is I haven't been suicidal since, so he shouldn't talk to my parents at all. I signed a contract for gods sake. I let my parents talk to him because I thought that he would reassure them that I'm doing ok and not reveal my diagnosis, which falls under the privacy law. He broke the law because I didnt' tell him to disclose my medical issues with them. That pisses me off too.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Jan 4, 2013
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Location
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Hi,
He didn't have any right telling your parents before you, I'd be really annoyed.
You could send him a letter asking him why.
Maybe your right to want a new psychiatrist.
Hope things will be okay
Take care
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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2,423
I would also be cross about this.

I think writing a letter is a good idea for 2 reasons.

1. If you struggle with verbal communication then you may be able to express yourself better this way.

2. You then have a formal record of your complaint that they should respond to formally.

We had a similar situation which turned out to be a misunderstanding. My husband was sent to hospital for a physical condition by his GP and was given an open letter to take with him stating that he had a diagnosis of personality disorder. This was news to both of us. His CPN also knew nothing about it and his psychiatrist assured us she had never made this diagnosis. When we confronted the GP he told us that his notes from the psychiatrist refered to alcoholic personality disorder (Does that even exist?). It turned out that the GP had misunderstood the psychiatrists letter which refered to alcohol being a triggering factor in my husband's psychosis.
 
Zardos

Zardos

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May 30, 2013
Messages
2,460
My shrink was well cagey about telling me my diagnosis to... But people kept asking me what was up with me and I wouldn't know what to tell them... So in the end I had to bite the bullet and just ask him... He said I was bi-polar and then quickly changed the subject... He didn't elaborate at all...
Come to think about it.. He never really tells me anything at all... Maybe I should start asking more direct questions :scratcheshead:
 
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