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My dilemma

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broken1

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Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
104
Location
U.S.
So I haven't been here in a really long time. I've honestly been spending a majority of my time trying to reinvent myself and my life. Third divorce a year and a half ago. Changed my career. Single and celibate for the entire time.
I have been seeing my psych nurse less and less. It has not been an easy journey but I have seen some improvement over this past year.
After my divorce, I reconnected with a casual friend (a man) and we have become incredibly great friends. He is a true gentleman, a Godly man, respectful and supportive...yes he knows about my mental state...and I am falling for him like never before. The difference is...I have always jumped into relationships with a vengeance. If given the opportunity, I'd want to go slow and steady with this guy.
I know this is short notice but y'all have to give me some advice.I don't do well with holidays being alone. My friend is insisting I spend Christmas with him and his family. I have met his mom, cousin, niece and nephew. I am terrified to meet his sister. She's beautiful and accomplished and I have a feeling her opinion of me is what he's waiting for.
I feel like we are slowly moving forward but I'm not sure. I'm so bad at this. I , like most of us, have trouble accurately deciphering one's feelings and motives. I want to believe he is growing feelings for me, too.
So here I am having panic attacks and my anxiety is out of this world. Part of me wants to go....but most of me wants to just hide and scream and cry.
What is your opinion? I hate social situations, I hate meeting new people, I hate feeling like I'm just someone he pities, and I hate crying and not knowing what to do. Ugh help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Hey broken, please don't listen to the negative thoughts. They are called ANTS; Automatic Negative Thoughts. You have ants in your brain.

The dinner with your friend's family is a wonderful opportunity. Sure, it can feel dangerous. Yes, his sister will have an opinion of you. But all you have to do is be loving and kind. He didn't invite you out of pity. He invited you because he thinks you're worthy of meeting his family.

It would be a shame if you follow old obsolete programs and hide away from this nice event. If you are loving and kind, how can it go wrong ?? Just remember to ask people questions about their own lives; put the interest on them so they can feel you care about them. When they talk, give feedback to let them know you truly listened.

That's all you need; good verbal skills and love and kindness. You'll do great !!
 
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broken1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
104
Location
U.S.
Thank you...very wise words. I will go. :mrgreen:
 
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