• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

My depression has prevented fatherhood

L

Lostsoul49

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2021
Messages
17
Location
Chorley England
The other big area that weighs on my mind other than my loneliness and self esteem issues is this.
All my life I have dreamed of being a dad. I would give up everything in a heartbeat to experience what so many others have.
I only had one partner in my life and she never really wanted to have children. I’ve been single now for 14 years and at 49, it’s unlikely that my wish will be fulfilled.
It upsets me so much that there are many times I have cried inside over this. You often hear of women feeling this way but rarely do you hear about men.
Because of my crippling lack of self esteem I haven’t the confidence to go out there and meet new people. Not that I want a partner just to have a child With! Even a ready made family with step children would give an outlet for the love I’d want to give.
I don’t want to foster or adopt as they just don’t seem right for me but at the same time I feel so upset that I’ve not had the chance to enjoy what parenthood would bring. It’s even harder because I’m a teacher and around children a lot.
Of course, everyone I know has children of their own and I just feel that others think I’m odd or weird. Even I think there’s something wrong with me because of this.
Its just so painful to feel this longing that has lasted for so many years. I know I’d make a brilliant kind and caring dad but it feels like it will never happen.
I really do value any thoughts or ideas for advice on how I can manage these feelings. Thank you for reading.x
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
10,172
Location
England
The other big area that weighs on my mind other than my loneliness and self esteem issues is this.
All my life I have dreamed of being a dad. I would give up everything in a heartbeat to experience what so many others have.
I only had one partner in my life and she never really wanted to have children. I’ve been single now for 14 years and at 49, it’s unlikely that my wish will be fulfilled.
It upsets me so much that there are many times I have cried inside over this. You often hear of women feeling this way but rarely do you hear about men.
Because of my crippling lack of self esteem I haven’t the confidence to go out there and meet new people. Not that I want a partner just to have a child With! Even a ready made family with step children would give an outlet for the love I’d want to give.
I don’t want to foster or adopt as they just don’t seem right for me but at the same time I feel so upset that I’ve not had the chance to enjoy what parenthood would bring. It’s even harder because I’m a teacher and around children a lot.
Of course, everyone I know has children of their own and I just feel that others think I’m odd or weird. Even I think there’s something wrong with me because of this.
Its just so painful to feel this longing that has lasted for so many years. I know I’d make a brilliant kind and caring dad but it feels like it will never happen.
I really do value any thoughts or ideas for advice on how I can manage these feelings. Thank you for reading.x
I completely understand how you feel, i really do.

At 49 there is still time. Many women are looking for a man just like you. I know men who have become fathers at 49 and 51.

Women are not so lucky as their ability to have children runs out.

Have you tried a good dating site? A proper one, where you can say openly you are looking for a wife?
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
3,679
Location
California
Hi Lostsoul, it's not too late. Hope you will be a father one day.💗
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
21,838
Location
England
I'm so sorry Lostsoul, I hope you might become a father. Maybe when covid19 is over, you could think of joining a local group in something that interests you. You might make friends and meet someone.
Or like Tawny said try a good dating site.
 
L

Lostsoul49

Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2021
Messages
17
Location
Chorley England
Thanks for your replies. It is something that’s with me every day and I do hope that one day it might happen.
Who knows what the future might bring. I know I have to somehow find the courage to get out there and try living my life. Whilst I know there’s more to life than being a father, it feels like I’m missing out on so much.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
X Has anyone actually recovered from the emotional numbness part of depression Depression Forum 12
MeAndMyDepression Has anyone tried Ritalin for depression? Depression Forum 14
J Has anyone else experienced this?? (Depression zaps) Depression Forum 4
I My girlfriend has depression and broke up with me Depression Forum 8
P Helping/supporting my girlfriend who has depression Depression Forum 3
D Think my dad has depression (advice needed) Depression Forum 6
MeAndMyDepression Who has concentration/memory problems because of depression? Depression Forum 5
M Girlfriend has depression and has pushed away. Need advice/support Depression Forum 2
J SPRAVATO for Treatment Resistance Depression Has anyone used Spravato? Depression Forum 4
H Husband has depression Depression Forum 3
S My boyfriends depression has become worse and now he’s acting mean? Depression Forum 63
M Depression has turned me into a monster Depression Forum 4
Tawny Depression has put it's slippers on Depression Forum 61
B My girlfriend has depression and is pushing me away. Depression Forum 3
bluestar ocean If a person has one month of chronic depression does that age the face or is that not enough time to do aging damage? Depression Forum 5
D My mom has been struggling with manic depression and psychotic episodes for months. Depression Forum 9
A My Girlfriend (23F) has anxiety, depression, and is suicidal. How can I help her? Depression Forum 6
A Depression Diagnosis has ruined my life forever. I dont want to live anymore. Depression Forum 16
cryinglightning depression has taken over my whole life Trigger warning Depression Forum 5
S I found out my husband cheated now my depression has crept back in Depression Forum 10
L Dealing with two terminally ill relatives but my Friend unsupportive that has depression Depression Forum 8
H My husband has left me because of depression Depression Forum 3
M Ex girlfriend has depression and anxiety Depression Forum 7
B Boyfriend has depression- how do I support him? Depression Forum 4
B My boyfriend has depression and i don't know what to do Depression Forum 1
C My wife has depression and wants a divorce Depression Forum 3
K Being with someone who has depression Depression Forum 6
A I think my boyfriend of 8 months has severe depression that he's tried to keep quiet Depression Forum 1
R Girlfriend with depression has asked for space Depression Forum 6
B My girlfriend has depression and doesn't want help and i don't kow what to do... Depression Forum 2
N My sister who has depression refuses to take medicine Depression Forum 8
S Thinking about leaving my girlfriend who has depression Depression Forum 1
S My Wife has depression, I have no idea how to help. Depression Forum 5
M Depression has turned me into a sociopath. Depression Forum 8
N Does my friend has depression? Depression Forum 6
S Advice for dealing with father who has depression Depression Forum 3
T ex-girl has low-self esteem depression Depression Forum 6
A GF has broken up with me I believe she had depression but failed to notice Depression Forum 1
T Best friend has depression Depression Forum 3
O Has anyone successfully treated their depression long term without medication? Depression Forum 6
J Fiancé has depression and doesn't know if he loves me anymore. HELP Depression Forum 7
M Minor depression has led to bad habits Depression Forum 5
J Has anything genuinely helped you recover from depression? Depression Forum 14
C My Boyfriend has Depression and I really want to help him but he's asked for space. Depression Forum 3
L S/O (now ex) has depression and fell out of love. HELP! Depression Forum 7
R Has anyone tried hypnosis for depression Depression Forum 1
C How has Depression Effected Your Career? Depression Forum 2
U Depression has returned! Go away! Help Depression Forum 1
L My boyfriend has depression Depression Forum 2
N My brother has depression and calls me all the time, if I dont pick up there and then he gets angry Depression Forum 6

Similar threads

Top