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my dad

Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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im so conflicted
his dementia is getting worse
im finding it hard
it makes it so much worse remembering how he treated me and mummy and sister so badly

its starting to make me feel unwell xxx
 
Zig Zag

Zig Zag

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Hi Fairy Lu It is hard for you try to remember the Good times too I will be thinking of you Keep Posting. :havingfun: :cheers:
 
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natalie

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Hi Lu,

Your health is so vitally important as well I would either ring your surgery for an appointment, thoiugh I remember you commenting once before that they said you were phoning in too much; or better still get hold of crisis team, via the cmht - meaning community mental health team, or ring for an out of hours on call duty doctor; youi do need urgent mental h ealth attention for your self, apart from also concerned for your dad, yes I do remember slightly how your dad treated you two, in the later on years, certainly whilst I have been registerd and physically a member of this forum site.

Do please seek u rgent assistance, Lu, it's Monday tomorrow, so I would give the mental he alth services department a phone call, you might have to be reassessed again, then at least in the main, you'll recieve the extra mental healht support attention, hopefully now onwards.


I do wish you well in this,


Best regards,


Natalie.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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social services said he needs to be in a home but he refuses
a conversation with him is hell ,I get so confused

I feel like hurting myself im not coping :low:
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

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If he is considered to have capacity then there is very little that can be done, until he is deemed not to have it. In which case, for his safety he will need to go into a home.

My late Dad had dementia, albeit it was still mild at the time he passed.

At the time I was his appointee and dealt with all the various duments/letters/payments etc.

In your case you need to speak to your CPN and explain the burden this puts on you, hopefully, she can speak to social services and explain your situation.

On a slightly separate issue, with regards to his future care etc, is the house you live in in his name also?? I know your mother lived there, but is your dads name on the deeds? Obviously you`ve no need to answer, I was wondering, with your dad, if he goes into a home, the house may be used to pay for his care, IF, he is down on the deeds???
 
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Zoe1

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so sorry Fairy
n yeah speak to cpn
I would decide on some pretty firm boundaries
around what you will or will not do for him
considering you have bad memories of him
which it seems are triggering for you

if there are other family members helping
you can discuss it with them,
try to stick to what you feel able to do
not what they expect you to do
if you are more ill than them

I would be looking at something
like a 2 hour visit once a week

:loveshower::loveshower::loveshower:
 
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