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My car broke down and Agorpahobia is getting worse

P

Phil8888

New member
Joined
Apr 10, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Northampton, England
Hi everyone.

I am a 38yo man from England. I have had agoraphobia since I was 20yo. It has steadily become worse and worse and my world and freedom shrinks by the day.

this illness has now cost me my marriage of 21 years and I have lost all my friends. I even struggle to look after my daughter when she comes for the weekends. I am so consumed by panic it is nearly obsessive.

But I was still trying to get out the home every day. Each day I would drive somewhere local and stay there, like a park, for an hour or so, or go to the local shops to keep myself getting out the house and avoid becoming housebound.

But....

I was out yesterday at a park which is about 4 miles from my home. I managed to walk partly around the park and was feeling a little bit happy about it. I got back to my car and went to start it and nothing was happening. I started to worry. So I did all the basic checks and nope, it was not starting.

I started to panic real bad knowing I could no longer get home. Although I do have breakdown cover I was in too much of a state and didn't want to be seen behaving like this. I was pacing up and down the pavement getting more and more anxious. I had no one that could pick me up and no one to call. It was too far for me to walk as my legs where shaking so badly and they had turned to jelly. I couldn't breathe. I started throwing up on to the pavement with people taking a wide birth walking by.

So I called a taxi. This made me even more anxious as I didn't want to get in a taxi having a massive panic attack and it caused me even worse feelings.

the panic kept on increasing and I was panicking more and more. I was in a hell of a bad state.

The taxi took 35 minutes to get to me (which was annoying as I was basically in town centre of a large town). Every second ticked by like a year in time.

When the taxi finally arrived I was in no better state. At one point I had to get the taxi to pull over for me to be sick out of. The driver kept trying to talk to me but I could not think straight.


So hear I am. My car now still in Town centre and me at home.

How on earth am I ever going to get out again? My mental health was already very very fragile, and I was just keeping my head above water.

I am going to struggle ever getting out again now I am going to be panicking my car will break down all the time.


Does anyone else have problems with cars for this reason? Do other people struggle along these lines? Any advice?
 
Desire less

Desire less

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 7, 2021
Messages
239
Location
Holland
I understand your situation, feel sorry you had to go trough this.
When i bought a motorcycle last year i completly panicked about everything which can go wrong.
I forced myself to buy it anway feeling only anxiety driving it.
Made a plan for when it broke down and how i could solve it.
In your case i think your starter motor broke down and someone needs to push it to get the engine going again.
Usually there are always people nearby willing to help you push, but i understand in your situation that was impossible.
In the worst case you can call a garage and explain the problem and hope they find a cheap solution.
 
V

Vampire333

Active member
Joined
Dec 18, 2020
Messages
28
Location
Uk
Hi everyone.

I am a 38yo man from England. I have had agoraphobia since I was 20yo. It has steadily become worse and worse and my world and freedom shrinks by the day.

this illness has now cost me my marriage of 21 years and I have lost all my friends. I even struggle to look after my daughter when she comes for the weekends. I am so consumed by panic it is nearly obsessive.

But I was still trying to get out the home every day. Each day I would drive somewhere local and stay there, like a park, for an hour or so, or go to the local shops to keep myself getting out the house and avoid becoming housebound.

But....

I was out yesterday at a park which is about 4 miles from my home. I managed to walk partly around the park and was feeling a little bit happy about it. I got back to my car and went to start it and nothing was happening. I started to worry. So I did all the basic checks and nope, it was not starting.

I started to panic real bad knowing I could no longer get home. Although I do have breakdown cover I was in too much of a state and didn't want to be seen behaving like this. I was pacing up and down the pavement getting more and more anxious. I had no one that could pick me up and no one to call. It was too far for me to walk as my legs where shaking so badly and they had turned to jelly. I couldn't breathe. I started throwing up on to the pavement with people taking a wide birth walking by.

So I called a taxi. This made me even more anxious as I didn't want to get in a taxi having a massive panic attack and it caused me even worse feelings.

the panic kept on increasing and I was panicking more and more. I was in a hell of a bad state.

The taxi took 35 minutes to get to me (which was annoying as I was basically in town centre of a large town). Every second ticked by like a year in time.

When the taxi finally arrived I was in no better state. At one point I had to get the taxi to pull over for me to be sick out of. The driver kept trying to talk to me but I could not think straight.


So hear I am. My car now still in Town centre and me at home.

How on earth am I ever going to get out again? My mental health was already very very fragile, and I was just keeping my head above water.

I am going to struggle ever getting out again now I am going to be panicking my car will break down all the time.


Does anyone else have problems with cars for this reason? Do other people struggle along these lines? Any advice?
Hey Phil. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. It must of been unbearable. But you managed it. Try not to keep reliving it and beaten yourself up about how you handled it (if you are). You did really well to get through it.

I can relate to you a lot. I’m 32 and have been suffering with agoraphobia from about 17. Agoraphobia has also cost me past relationships and I lost all my friends. This illness really does rob us of a lot.

Your doing so well to of been able to drive and go to the park. Please try not to let this get you down and don’t stop doing what you can do. It only makes things worse. Your stronger than you think with having to deal with what we deal with.

I’ve had an episode like you. When I was able to go out in the car with my ex. It would always take me ages to build myself up to leave the house and go because I’d do her head in asking her if the cars ok and trying to be reassured that we weren’t going to break down. She drove us to kfc and we was eating in the car park but left the lights on. When she came to start the car it wouldn’t start. My heart sank and a feeling of doom came over me. Basically... I was f’d. I was so terrified and felt so helpless. I thought we would have to ring up people to sort the car. Which made me go off on an even bigger panic attack. In the end. We managed to push the car a little and jump start it. Lucky this was at night and hardly no one was around. I am managed to get out of the car and push (cause I had to). Even getting out the car is a lot for me. So yeah, I can imagine how you felt. And you managed to do it all on your own and get in a taxi. That’s brilliant

Don’t let this set you back
 
C

candycane

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
226
Location
Online
Hi everyone.

I am a 38yo man from England. I have had agoraphobia since I was 20yo. It has steadily become worse and worse and my world and freedom shrinks by the day.

this illness has now cost me my marriage of 21 years and I have lost all my friends. I even struggle to look after my daughter when she comes for the weekends. I am so consumed by panic it is nearly obsessive.

But I was still trying to get out the home every day. Each day I would drive somewhere local and stay there, like a park, for an hour or so, or go to the local shops to keep myself getting out the house and avoid becoming housebound.

But....

I was out yesterday at a park which is about 4 miles from my home. I managed to walk partly around the park and was feeling a little bit happy about it. I got back to my car and went to start it and nothing was happening. I started to worry. So I did all the basic checks and nope, it was not starting.

I started to panic real bad knowing I could no longer get home. Although I do have breakdown cover I was in too much of a state and didn't want to be seen behaving like this. I was pacing up and down the pavement getting more and more anxious. I had no one that could pick me up and no one to call. It was too far for me to walk as my legs where shaking so badly and they had turned to jelly. I couldn't breathe. I started throwing up on to the pavement with people taking a wide birth walking by.

So I called a taxi. This made me even more anxious as I didn't want to get in a taxi having a massive panic attack and it caused me even worse feelings.

the panic kept on increasing and I was panicking more and more. I was in a hell of a bad state.

The taxi took 35 minutes to get to me (which was annoying as I was basically in town centre of a large town). Every second ticked by like a year in time.

When the taxi finally arrived I was in no better state. At one point I had to get the taxi to pull over for me to be sick out of. The driver kept trying to talk to me but I could not think straight.


So hear I am. My car now still in Town centre and me at home.

How on earth am I ever going to get out again? My mental health was already very very fragile, and I was just keeping my head above water.

I am going to struggle ever getting out again now I am going to be panicking my car will break down all the time.


Does anyone else have problems with cars for this reason? Do other people struggle along these lines? Any advice?
Sorry to here that.
I hope you get your car fixed,soon.
No,I do not,because I do not drive,do to disability.
 
P

Phil8888

New member
Joined
Apr 10, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Northampton, England
Hey Phil. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. It must of been unbearable. But you managed it. Try not to keep reliving it and beaten yourself up about how you handled it (if you are). You did really well to get through it.

I can relate to you a lot. I’m 32 and have been suffering with agoraphobia from about 17. Agoraphobia has also cost me past relationships and I lost all my friends. This illness really does rob us of a lot.

Your doing so well to of been able to drive and go to the park. Please try not to let this get you down and don’t stop doing what you can do. It only makes things worse. Your stronger than you think with having to deal with what we deal with.

I’ve had an episode like you. When I was able to go out in the car with my ex. It would always take me ages to build myself up to leave the house and go because I’d do her head in asking her if the cars ok and trying to be reassured that we weren’t going to break down. She drove us to kfc and we was eating in the car park but left the lights on. When she came to start the car it wouldn’t start. My heart sank and a feeling of doom came over me. Basically... I was f’d. I was so terrified and felt so helpless. I thought we would have to ring up people to sort the car. Which made me go off on an even bigger panic attack. In the end. We managed to push the car a little and jump start it. Lucky this was at night and hardly no one was around. I am managed to get out of the car and push (cause I had to). Even getting out the car is a lot for me. So yeah, I can imagine how you felt. And you managed to do it all on your own and get in a taxi. That’s brilliant

Don’t let this set you back
Thank you for sharing your experience with me and for your kind words. Sounds like you have had a very similar experience.
 
C

candycane

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 15, 2021
Messages
226
Location
Online
Hi everyone.

I am a 38yo man from England. I have had agoraphobia since I was 20yo. It has steadily become worse and worse and my world and freedom shrinks by the day.

this illness has now cost me my marriage of 21 years and I have lost all my friends. I even struggle to look after my daughter when she comes for the weekends. I am so consumed by panic it is nearly obsessive.

But I was still trying to get out the home every day. Each day I would drive somewhere local and stay there, like a park, for an hour or so, or go to the local shops to keep myself getting out the house and avoid becoming housebound.

But....

I was out yesterday at a park which is about 4 miles from my home. I managed to walk partly around the park and was feeling a little bit happy about it. I got back to my car and went to start it and nothing was happening. I started to worry. So I did all the basic checks and nope, it was not starting.

I started to panic real bad knowing I could no longer get home. Although I do have breakdown cover I was in too much of a state and didn't want to be seen behaving like this. I was pacing up and down the pavement getting more and more anxious. I had no one that could pick me up and no one to call. It was too far for me to walk as my legs where shaking so badly and they had turned to jelly. I couldn't breathe. I started throwing up on to the pavement with people taking a wide birth walking by.

So I called a taxi. This made me even more anxious as I didn't want to get in a taxi having a massive panic attack and it caused me even worse feelings.

the panic kept on increasing and I was panicking more and more. I was in a hell of a bad state.

The taxi took 35 minutes to get to me (which was annoying as I was basically in town centre of a large town). Every second ticked by like a year in time.

When the taxi finally arrived I was in no better state. At one point I had to get the taxi to pull over for me to be sick out of. The driver kept trying to talk to me but I could not think straight.


So hear I am. My car now still in Town centre and me at home.

How on earth am I ever going to get out again? My mental health was already very very fragile, and I was just keeping my head above water.

I am going to struggle ever getting out again now I am going to be panicking my car will break down all the time.


Does anyone else have problems with cars for this reason? Do other people struggle along these lines? Any advice?
So sorry to here that.
 
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