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My BPD boyfriend broke up with me because he'd met a girl for two hours.

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Emation

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Hi,

I'm hoping I can just have someone tell me that this isn't anything to do with me, he has Borderline Personality Disorder and I just need to let him go.

Our relationship has been rocky, but lately really positive and he's been really sweet and affectionate. Then yesterday he went out because he's joining scouts and there was a girl there who he found pretty and he broke up with me that night saying he hasn't wanted to be with me for a long time, doesn't love me and feels I haven't loved him or wanted to be with him either.

I generally believe given this sudden change its because he met this girl. But he only knew her for two hours and I just can't believe I've been disgarded for someone he doesn't even know.

He's toxic I know.
 
American Boy

American Boy

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I'll just be blunt... there are two sides to every story and you said that y'all had a bad relationship. I doubt that he broke up with you just because he started speaking to a girl at the scouts. It dosen't mean his toxic it just means you two had a bad relationship.
 
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Emation

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No, our only issue at the moment was his paranoia and him hearing voices.

This is the only fact that is different. His behaviour completely changed, like he just no longer cared about me.
 
F

Flameheart

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Maybe meeting that girl made him realise he was missing something from the relationship or it's just a coincidence that he decides to break up with you now after going to scouts
 
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Emation

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After meeting someone for two hours? I'm not sure that's a huge amount of time, while among other people, to really see that surely?
 
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Emation

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The day before he was singing me love songs planning camping trips with me and his friends. That afternoon he'd called me after work saying he missed me.
Then that night tells me he doesn't want me.
 
F

Flameheart

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He may have said and done it impulsively to see if you'd care, which may sound silly, but a lot of people who suffer with BPD push people away as a test, has he done anything like this before?
 
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Emation

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Yes he's done this before and eventually we got back together - he's also sexted other girls while in our relationship and literally ended our relationship the same way when he's been flirting with other girls.
I think the reason it hasn't been an issue for a while is because he didn't have a prospect of another girl and now he does he doesn't feel the need to stay with him and he can pursue this.
I imagine if this girl rejects him he'll come running back.
 
aspieguy1984

aspieguy1984

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Hi, i don't know about your BF(X). But that happens to me, i get infatuated with someone and everything else gets tossed to the wayside. Its ruined lots of good things i had going for me.
 
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Emation

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I'm finding it hard to not take it personally, but it's knocking me down. Like if only I was prettier and skinnier and more interesting this wouldn't be happening. Kind of why I've posted this.
 
F

Flameheart

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Yes he's done this before and eventually we got back together - he's also sexted other girls while in our relationship and literally ended our relationship the same way when he's been flirting with other girls.
I think the reason it hasn't been an issue for a while is because he didn't have a prospect of another girl and now he does he doesn't feel the need to stay with him and he can pursue this.
I imagine if this girl rejects him he'll come running back.
Then it sounds as if you deserve better, he only runs back to you because other girls reject him and you continue letting him use you, there comes a point where his BPD or whatever is causing this can no longer be an excuse

I don't know the different types of BPD, although I have it myself, I cross the line at cheating on someone
 
aspieguy1984

aspieguy1984

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Its hard on the people on the other side no doubt. Im autistic, bipolar type 1, schizophrenic and have BPD.
For me it has nothing to do with looks, personality or anything of the sort. It totally has to do with the mystery of the new person. As it were
 
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Emation

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Thank you for everyone's replies so far. It's been a lot harder knowing it's because of someone he has known for two hours.
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

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At this point, is it really relevant that he has BPD?
You don't have to endure everything he is doing to you. Having BPD doesn't mean it's okay to hurt you like that.
 
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Emation

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Just more so I blame myself less - not because I intend on blaming it on his bpd and forgiving his behaviour.
 
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