- Jun 3, 2018
I’m 20 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. Things have been good until recently when my best friend, Cara and I stopped talking. I loved our adventures and goofy talks, she was basically me except she was very high maintanance and it was hard to keep up with all of her drama. We got in a small fight, she blocked me on social media, and we haven’t spoken for months now. My boyfriend and I are good together, however after losing Cara I find myself mad at him all the time... whenever he hangs out with his group of friends I get so frustrated and sad and I don’t know why. I want him to have fun with his friends but I can’t help but getting so angry when he’s having fun with them and not me. I’m always crying and apologizing and generally acting like a crazy asshole because I can’t be a part of their fun. It doesn’t help that he always shoots down my ideas for dates that he would more than likely have gone on with his friends, and we haven’t really hung out alone outside of his apartment all summer. His 21st birthday is coming up soon and I’m not invited to his party. I find myself not wanting to be around him anymore because I never go home satisfied with the amount of attention or love I feel from him compared to what he shows his friends. He’s sensitive to the fact that I don’t have my own people to hang out with but never does anything about it... I don’t even know what I want him to do about it. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do either. I have trouble falling asleep and waking up, I don’t have much of an appetite and I’m always worried about all of this shit. It’s not healthy and I know that but there aren’t many people around my home town who I’d like to hang out with and hardly anywhere social to go. I might go away to college this fall to finish my last two years but I’m hesitant to leave him and my mom. I feel like there’s nothing I can say to him that I haven’t said already to try and make this easier for myself. Breaking up with him doesn’t seem like an option or I’d be completely alone (besides my mom and family). Any advice?