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My boyfriend is my only friend.

D

Daydreamer01

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
1
Hi All,
I am 21 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years.
Over the course of our relationship I have lost all my friends including my best friend from high school who I loved.
Now the only person I have is my boyfriend and he makes me miserable.
He doesn't allow me to talk to any males, mean while he frequently goes to the club and there he talks to girls and uses the excuse that they are 'friends of friends' or 'old work mates.'
He is constantly unemployed and so I have to pay for everything. I even have to give him allowance and pay for his debts. To date, he owes me over $10,000.
But because he is the only friend I have, I am too scared to end our relationship. I'm posting in this forum not for sympathy. I'm just looking for some words of encouragement and hopefully a new friend.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,750
Location
Europe
Sounds like he is controlling, manipulative, parasitical and just generally bottom feeding. I'm not surprised your thinking of ending the relationship if he doesn't make you happy. There have been other examples of this kind of behaviour on the forums, you can probably find them, with a long chorus of female members encouraging more 'stand up for yourself' kinds of behaviour... Which I'm generally in favour of. A healthy relationship is a two way street, especially if one of the two is unemployed.

Big hugs sweetie, take good care of yourself ;)
 
BlueBerry

BlueBerry

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
1,261
Location
Edinburgh
I know bugger all about relationships so take this with a bucket of salt, but your only friend doesn't sound like much of a friend.
Its obviously up to you if you want to stay with him or not but you shouldn't let him stop you from talking to other people.

If you do eventually give him the boot, please remember that its better to be alone than being forced to be with someone who makes you unhappy. My sister had a nasty problem with this kind of thing before. To this day she hates being single and gets very lonely, so she often clings on to terrible boyfriends a lot longer than she should.

I hope things turn out okay for you and just know you can make lots of friends on this forum if you want :hug:
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
4,861
I hope you can pick up the courage to get rid of him. You deserve much better than that! Why should you work to pay for him to go out and have fun with other girls? He obviously doesn't want you to go near men cause you'll realise there are nice ones out there that won't leech off you and belittle you. I know its scary but you're young and you'll easily meet new people! It sounds like he is the one whose preventing you from having friends and a life! Good luck :)
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum.
It sounds like you have invested so much into this relationship, it's understandable that you're scared and reluctant to end it.
But it seems that a part of you knows in your heart of hearts that this isn't a loving relationship where you are equals, but a situation in which you are being taken advantage of.
Nobody deserves to be exploited in any way. I think you know that a relationship with someone who doesn't value you is probably no real relationship at all.

If/when you decide to leave him, you must remember that you can have friends again.
It may be that you can build bridges with your old friends, or find new ones. Either way, it is possible to be happy without him. x
 
V

voyager

Guest
Just a short answer, get rid now. You can't spend the rest of your life with him if he's like this. Take care :hug1:
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I agree with the others here and haven't anything to add that hasn't already been said but welcome to the forum and I hope you manage to make the right decision and start leading the life you deserve.
 
rubyrose

rubyrose

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
Messages
1,323
Location
Where flowers bloom
First off, welcome to the forum.

I understand that you're afraid to end the relationship but I honestly think you'd be much better off alone than with this guy. You admit he makes you miserable. He sounds very controlling, insecure, and selfish. You can't talk to guys but he's free to go out to the club and chat with ladies anytime he wants? And he expects you to take care of him financially? Is he even being faithful to you? I say it's time to tell this dude to take a hike and it's time for you to take back your life. He will continue to treat you this way as long as you continue to accept such treatment. I know it's hard to let go, but it must be done if you want to be happy. Best wishes :hug1:
 
*autumn*

*autumn*

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 1, 2014
Messages
3,652
Location
here
:hi: daydreamer1 and welcome to the forum.
I don't want to put words in your mouth but it doesn't feel that you are happy at all.
Obviously you know deep down the right answer.
If you are unhappy then something can be done.
There's a lot of support for you and very good advice.
Take care and I really hope things change for the better for you. ♥:hug:
 
C

clyde

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
43
He's controlling you and he's unfair. He should let you have friends and to talk with somebody and he's should seek for a work to pay for his own debts.
 
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