- Apr 11, 2019
My soulmate, love of 5 years, passed away on Friday/Saturday morning. I miss her so much, I want to kill myself to be next to her. She was gorgeous, sexual, kind, but was in so much pain, her feelings were razor blades. I moved to Austin to get us away form Washington DC, but I had to go alone first. I was not with her when she died, and I feel terrible. She missed a flight I had booked for her two weeks ago, instead of being angry I should have been scared for her. I had been in touch with the DEA, police, and FBI for months prior trying to get her dealer arrested. In truth, her friend was the proxy that kept supplying her, I threatened her months ago, she allegedly destroyed evidence the morning of and deleted texts from K.....y's phone. I want to be close to her through others on this forum who are borderline. Love, pain, abandonment, splitting, pushing and pulling and suicidal thoughts, I am here to talk. I am having a hard time wanting to live but this is day 5.