• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

My biggest regret

M

MrWIlliams

New member
Joined
May 1, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Here
***TRIGGER WARNING - discusses romantic relationship with a minor, non-sexual***

To start this off, I just want to say that I am not a smart person, I am actually a very stupid one at least.
Back in 2016 I did something which I wish I have never done in the first place, I know most of you guys are going to hate me for it after reading this post because I still think I deserve to be hated.

On a Discord server, I met a girl who was 10 years old and I was 15 at that time. Now I'm going to admit, I did not know what pedophilia actually meant at that time. We made friends, and then I unknowingly started posting heart emotes and "i love you" with her in her Direct Messages. A few days later she finally broke up with me, and I saw how uncomfortable she felt. Everyone in the server started hating me for what I did, and they stated that they will never forget what I did.

Some years passed and when I returned to the Discord server, I was reminded of the event, and I finally apologized to the user I affected back then. However even though it was years ago, I really hate myself for what I did and I feel that I am one of the most disgusting people in the world who deserves to rot in hell.

In the past few weeks I cried, I did things to hurt or kill myself, I deleted my Discord server, and I quit most of the internet communities I was in for good. I really want to change myself for the better, but even though what I did was years ago, I still think I deserve to die and be hated on.


Guys, I need help on how to improve to become a better person, because I find it very hard to with what I did in the past. Also If I posted this in the wrong thread, I am very sorry for that and everything I've done.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,261
Location
India
Jeez, you make it sound like you had sex with a minor. If all you did was text the girl, you didn't do anything wrong. BTW, this pales in comparison to the stupid things I did when I was 15 and continue to do today.
 
M

MrWIlliams

New member
Joined
May 1, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Here
Jeez, you make it sound like you had sex with a minor. If all you did was text the girl, you didn't do anything wrong. BTW, this pales in comparison to the stupid things I did when I was 15 and continue to do today.
All I did was direct message her "i love you" and heart emojis, but this is still wrong and I still hate myself for this.
Every time I think of that memory I get the want to do something drastic.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
5,999
Location
Nashua NH
It sounds like you are catastrophizing. You made a bad judgement call that you regret now. Live and learn.
 

Similar threads

Top