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My biggest problem socializing.

Hello513

Hello513

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I have had trouble accepting kindness, and I am working on it. I would be a liar if I said I did not want kindness shown to me. This leads me to not be as kind as I want to be to others. I was bullied a lot as a kid so that is probably the root of it I get very defensive at times because of that.

I wonder if this has contributed to my bi polar or vice versa
 
Zana

Zana

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I know how you feel. Like it can make you suspicious when someone is nice for no apparent reason. The way to beat this is to be kind and helpful to others regardless, even if it means going out of your way a bit. The more positivity you put into the world, the more positive you'll feel and the more open to accepting it in return you'll become. It's not always possible but a neat little trick.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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I'm like that too. For me I think its because of my mom in childhood. She was offended (then gets angry) if I had a smile that wasn't because of her. She would find ways to upset me if I was happy. She would act like the only person who could provide for me was her.

It screwed me up a lot more than she realizes. I hate it when people give me things. I have learned to have a monotone expression on my face because of her.
 
LunaBloodmist

LunaBloodmist

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Sometimes I think I just don't know how to respond to people. Then my kindness feels fake, like was I on robot mode because I didn't know how to handle the interaction?? I tend to keep to myself. Maybe it's an issue with regulating emotions?
 
Hello513

Hello513

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My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
I know how you feel. Like it can make you suspicious when someone is nice for no apparent reason. The way to beat this is to be kind and helpful to others regardless, even if it means going out of your way a bit. The more positivity you put into the world, the more positive you'll feel and the more open to accepting it in return you'll become. It's not always possible but a neat little trick.
Ya I get suspciious when people are kind to me for no reason, but I used to do it all the time before my symptoms became psychosis. Also I am trying to get back to being more like the person I used to be instead of the miserable wreck I became.

I had a lot more friends back then, and I am finding I am making more friends this way then being bitter at the universe all the time like I was for awhile.

Sigh I also have anger issues *breathe in Breathe out*
 
LunaBloodmist

LunaBloodmist

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Funny I have been talking to people all day for the first time in awhile, and now I feel alone that its over.

I guess I did not know how much I missed social interaction.
It's such a relief to talk to people that care, especially when your perception of social interaction has been thrown off, or you know the ones around you are just sick of hearing it. I'm just now realizing why people tend to distance themselves from me 😅 but it's okay. We will make our way in our own time.
 
Hello513

Hello513

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It's such a relief to talk to people that care, especially when your perception of social interaction has been thrown off, or you know the ones around you are just sick of hearing it. I'm just now realizing why people tend to distance themselves from me 😅 but it's okay. We will make our way in our own time.
I just took my first day program its funny how easy it is to relate and be kind when you are all in the same boat and this facade of having it all together just drops away.

I found my first day enlightening
 
LunaBloodmist

LunaBloodmist

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I just took my first day program its funny how easy it is to relate and be kind when you are all in the same boat and this facade of having it all together just drops away.

I found my first day enlightening
Yes!! I am so glad you had a good day. Today was the first day I was completely honest with a therapist. And it was strangely relieving. She quickly put together a plan for me, and now I feel more positive about getting help, instead of just thinking about it. Everyone likes to act so tough and put you down because you may be "sensitive". Screw that, if you can't handle that, you don't deserve to see the awesome side of me.
 
Hello513

Hello513

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Yes!! Today was the first day I was completely honest with a therapist. And it was strangely relieving. She quickly put together a plan for me, and now I feel more positive about getting help, instead of just thinking about it. Everyone likes to act so tough and put you down because you may be "sensitive". Screw that, if you can't handle that, you don't deserve to see the awesome side of me.

I like that attitude.
 
Zana

Zana

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Ya I get suspciious when people are kind to me for no reason, but I used to do it all the time before my symptoms became psychosis. Also I am trying to get back to being more like the person I used to be instead of the miserable wreck I became.

I had a lot more friends back then, and I am finding I am making more friends this way then being bitter at the universe all the time like I was for awhile.

Sigh I also have anger issues *breathe in Breathe out*
Sounds like you are making progress. I don't think any of us should aim to be how we used to be, because experiences change us. Rather we can aim to be the best person we can with what we now know. Easier said than done of course; I'm still trying to figure this sh!t out after two bad manic episodes in the past two years. My friends network collapsed completely and I don't know where to start rebuilding it!
 
Hello513

Hello513

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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
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My billion dollar high tech malibu mansion
Sounds like you are making progress. I don't think any of us should aim to be how we used to be, because experiences change us. Rather we can aim to be the best person we can with what we now know. Easier said than done of course; I'm still trying to figure this sh!t out after two bad manic episodes in the past two years. My friends network collapsed completely and I don't know where to start rebuilding it!

I got lucky my new friends kind of found me. I think the best way is to go out and keep busy and meet new people rather than stay home
 

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