• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

My bf's ex has bipolar, please help...

L

Larnies

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2014
Messages
2
Hello, I am here to ask for advice.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about six months. His ex-girlfriend has bipolar, when I met my boyfriend his ex was in a relationship. Her boyfriend broke up with her in December. That is when the difficulties started.

They text each other often, she has made it clear that she wants him back. If I am honest he is giving her the wrong impression with his responses. She has told him that he is the only person in the world that she can talk to, he is the only person that understands. I think that he is being kind to her because he once loved her (maybe he still does).

I would like to treat this girl with the utmost respect, taking into account her mental illness. I have nothing to do with their relationship, he won't let me in. It is impacting on our relationship and I am finding it difficult to clearly see what is the right thing to do here.

What is the best thing myself and my boyfriend can do for his ex?
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
40,672
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,that's really difficult ,I think he needs maybe to encourage her to reach out to other sources of support.
I understand he feels the need to help her because of their history but it really isn't fair to you
if its having a negative impact on your relationship I think you need to tell your BF you find his contact with her uncomfortable and ask him to encourage her to reach out to others for support and not feel so dependent on him
x
and :welcome:
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
I can understand your boyfriend wanting to offer her support, however there need to be some clear boundries if your relationship is going to work. I think that you need to decide what is acceptable for you and what you need from the relationship and have an honest discussion with you. He then needs to set some boundaries with her for example when she can and can't phone him. If he's not willing to do this then you need to ask yourself if you can continue with the relationship.

Another thing to consider, is she unwell at the moment or just upset about her break up?
 
L

Larnies

New member
Joined
Apr 1, 2014
Messages
2
She is unwell at the moment, I have seen mention of hearing voices in her head etc x
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
That does make it harder for him. I still think that you need to establish some clear boundries though.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
M Need advice! Relationship with girl who has BPD and bipolar disorder. Long post. People 4
W Dad has cancer People 7
P A friend, I've not spoke to in years, has been diagnosed with non curable cancer.. Advice please People 4
R My life has proven yesterday to be a dead end and things will never get better, I can’t stand it. People 0
J Do you believe in the claim that everyone has good in them? People 6
L Need advise partner has anxiety, depression&paranoia People 2
J My girlfriend has Bdp People 16
Y Please help - boyfriend has depression People 3
G My girlfriend has been abused and mistreated in the past and no longer feels emotions People 1
F Friendship has become very stressful People 1
J My brother has issues...I have issues. People 4
SpiritHeart Family has brought me down... once again... People 2
K My boyfriend has depression People 1
A Husband has schizoaffective and I think it's starting to affect me People 1
A Has anyone dealt with infatuation like this? People 4
blueMandM90 Friend has removed me of social media People 4
D My girlfriend has ended our relationship. People 29
L Relationship anxiety - Has anyone been in a similar situation?? People 2
O my sister has an undiagnosed mental illness, please help? People 5
Foxjo My doctor has died and I'm devastated People 9
T I think someone has been using my Mac People 15
J My girlfriend has depression.......what can i do People 5
J Lying is has ruined my relationship People 3
T My mother has cancer... ;( People 6
J Friend has suddenly deserted me People 5
L I deal with hearing a family has Cancer? People 5
RainbowHeartz mum has a bunion People 3
J Has any one every use no longer lonely dating site? People 8
RainbowHeartz worried mum has cancer People 6
Davey Blueeyes Has anyone heard from BAGGPUSS? People 17
H Sabotaging the future because the past has been bad People 3
L On and off separation has taken it's toll People 4
L boyfriend of a year has depression and s.a.d. wants to be single..for 2nd time.. help People 2
RainbowHeartz Nan has cancer People 12
SomersetScorpio *trigger warning* He has photos of me when I was little... People 12
N wife has anger/aggression issues - need to vent! People 17
Cazcat My fiance's paranoia has just turned our world upsidedown People 4
Q I think my stepdad has a mental illness People 5
M Wife has 0 ambition People 18
D Has anyone else never been in a couple in the usual long term sense of the word? People 1
A would like close friends and relationship - not sure this post has any point People 9
S Relationship has ended.. People 1
H Worried about friend - Bipolar, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression People 1
B Rapid cycling bipolar 1 fiance victim of 10 year relationship with covert narcissist People 2
C BiPolar Relationship Help. Please. People 1
T bipolar mother-in-law... I feel so lonely, please help People 13
M Should I keep up my long-distance relationship with a suicidal bipolar person (whom I no longer love)? People 3
Poopy Doll Outed as bipolar on public forum People 2
B Advice please! People 2
PsychoBumby93 Can someone please explain to me what in the world just happened? People 1

Similar threads

Top