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My best friend has signs of Psychosis. What should I do ?

S

Sunflowerbun

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Aug 15, 2020
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8
Location
UK
In 2019 September, my best friend began acting weirdly. She would accuse me of being an evil witch who wants to ruin her life and that I'm the cause of the voices in her head. She would start talking in a completely different accent and tell people her name is 'Jessica' which is completely different from her own name. She would also accuse me of posting nude pictures and video of her on a child pornography website despite no such photo exist. No evidence or logic was able to 'wake her up' from all the things she chooses to believe. She would say one thing to me but yet deny saying to another despite the other party clearly hearing her said it to me previously. Then she would ask her 'Who told you that ? Did XXX(me) tell you that about me?"

We knew she is unwell and is experiencing psychosis symptoms. As she was living with me at that time I had to bit the bullet and called the police in to bring her to the Mental Health Institute for a psychiatric assessment. There they immediately admitted her and diagnosed her with Schizophrenia. During her stay there, I visited her multiple times but my concern is rejected by her because she believes I intentionally sent her there as 'I was jealous of her beauty'. Inside the hospital during her stay, she would share with the doctors of her North Korean boyfriend named Logan whom she describes as incredibly dashing and chivalrous. He was in love with her and so was his twin brother, Loren. She also shared how he wants to kidnap her to North Korea and she was very willing to follow him as his wife. After many attempts to visit her, I decided that when she wants to see me she would and that I trusted the genuine love I have for her all those years would come back to her when she's well again. Her parents were contacted and she went back with them after she was discharged a month later.

Around two months after her discharge one day, I receive a text message from her. That's when we reconnected with each other again. Our friendship was just like before and she apologized for all the mean things she said to me. She shared with me she didn't know why she did what she did and how ridiculous her delusions were. She was very determined to get treated and even told me that if it ever happens again she would have never believed anything her voices and delusions were making her feel. She regularly takes medication and is seeing the doctor every month. Her parents were financially supporting her medical treatments but are not very involved in the recovery process as they lacked the knowledge of mental health.

However, a month ago, she began going missing. She would use dizziness as an excuse to not reply to her text messages and phone calls. She started skipping work under the excuse that she's sick. When I look up for her at her parent's home, I start to see early psychosis warning signs. She would tell me that she heard the mind of the social worker who is in charge of her and how she is talking bad about her. I was worried and so I updated her doctors and they gave her a change of medication. However, despite the change of medication, there is no signs of improvement but instead a declination. The next time I saw her again, she began questioning me as to why I sent her to a psychiatric hospital the very first time. It was so odd to me because I always thought it had been discussed and concluded upon. She said that why I wanted to send her there would always be a question mark in her life and she wonders what intentions I had. She also told my brother that her father told her that I was a horrible person who likes to send all the female friends I have in my life and manipulate the doctors to diagnose them with Schizophrenia. She also believes she has no Schizophrenia and that she does not need treatment. After clarifying with her father, we realized her father said no such thing. Her father then told me she had told him that I've been borrowing money from her and not to let me in the house when I visit her the next time. When I asked her about it, she blatantly denied that she ever said that. It became clear to me that rather than hallucinating that her father was telling her things about me, she was blatantly lying. She became very suspicious at even the slightest things when she used to not question me regarding it. She even told a mutual friend she believes I have been taking nude photos of the doctor to blackmail him into diagnosing her with Schizophrenia.

When I ask her why she thinks she needs no treatment when she is the one that shared with me and her group of doctors about the experiences about the delusions. I even took out the paper in which she wrote down all her delusions regarding the two North Korean soldiers whom she says is in love with her. She then blatantly denies everything she ever said even when there were many people as witnesses to her statements. We know she is in need of urgent treatment but when we spoke to her father regarding it, he refuses to send her in due to the social stigma and he would brush it aside as she's fine and that she just needs to rest. The social workers and doctors are unable to do anything or admit her into the hospital without the permission of her father due to the law and unless she is hurting herself or others. Nothing can be done and we'll have to just wait for a possible right time to find an excuse to admit her against her will. I'm very worried about her and impatient having to wait for her to finally seek the treatment she needs.

Anyone with experiences with psychosis or help someone with psychosis, can you please give me advice on how to deal with this situation and what are the possible stages to come after her current stage. As she is currently not saying anything that insinuates self-harm, violence, or self-harming actions, everyone around her is helpless. She is currently just lying in bed all day and staring at the ceiling blankly doing nothing. As unusual as it may sound, I wonder what the next stage of her psychosis will be like and how we can finally get her to receive the treatments needed.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Nashua NH
I know you care deeply about your friend but it is not your responsibility to ensure that she gets care. That is up to her, her family and the police or mental health crisis team to determine and navigate. Your involvement in this has only lead to your friend to become confused with and angry at you. I would detach yourself from any expectation or hope that she will be able to obtain treatment for awhile. Do you still want to be friends with her if she is not well? Since she is not well now and may not be well for awhile to you want to stick around to wait until she is well again? This family needs it’s right to manage this situation in their own way and in their own time. You in turn deserve not to be subject to constant bizarre accusations and to be able to enjoy some peace of mind. I hope this is helpful. xo, j
 
S

Sunflowerbun

Member
Joined
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Messages
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Location
UK
I know you care deeply about your friend but it is not your responsibility to ensure that she gets care. That is up to her, her family and the police or mental health crisis team to determine and navigate. Your involvement in this has only lead to your friend to become confused with and angry at you. I would detach yourself from any expectation or hope that she will be able to obtain treatment for awhile. Do you still want to be friends with her if she is not well? Since she is not well now and may not be well for awhile to you want to stick around to wait until she is well again? This family needs it’s right to manage this situation in their own way and in their own time. You in turn deserve not to be subject to constant bizarre accusations and to be able to enjoy some peace of mind. I hope this is helpful. xo, j
Of course, I would want to be her friend but I also want the best for her. I would like to walk with her on this journey. There is no possibility of me leaving her. We've known each other since young and it breaks my heart to watch her behave this way. I would want her to lead a fulfilling life. The reason why I'm sharing this because I would like to further understand how will her psychosis develop further as time goes by because the previous time she was being sent it, she is already at the current stage she is in so it was being controlled in time.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Like it's her fault?

No. They don't. The stupidity of the parents should not be the ruin of the child.
It is inappropriate for a friend to meddle in the psychiatric wellness of their friend to the extent that they are calling their friends doctor to have their meds changed. These are adults and they have their own will and volition. If an adult wishes not to seek help and their family does not press it with them for outside audiences, which this op represents, there is not much they can do.
 
L

Lizaje

Guest
It is inappropriate for a friend to meddle in the psychiatric wellness of their friend to the extent that they are calling their friends doctor to have their meds changed. These are adults and they have their own will and volition. If an adult wishes not to seek help and their family does not press it with them for outside audiences, which this op represents, there is not much they can do.
I'm surprised they did change the medication, but that in itself says something. Namely, that it was possible and they made the change — who knows if they found it inappropriate?

Parents who refuse their child proper mental health treatment are dangerous. I have nothing good to say about them acting on their prejudice without bothering to educate themselves. The worst is precisely that other people go, "it's not our business. Let them handle it." what you mean is 'let the child suffer because I'm not sure what to do' or at worst '..because I'm a coward'.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I'm surprised they did change the medication, but that in itself says something. Namely, that it was possible and they made the change — who knows if they found it inappropriate?

Parents who refuse their child proper mental health treatment are dangerous. I have nothing good to say about them acting on their prejudice without bothering to educate themselves. The worst is precisely that other people go, "it's not our business. Let them handle it." what you mean is 'let the child suffer because I'm not sure what to do' or at worst '..because I'm a coward'.
It’s more about acknowledging your own place in things and not breaching the role of the family or the (presumably adult) child. Especially if both are starting to signal that the op is not welcome. Hope for the best for the friend but stay out of peoples medical issues. That is the best that anyone can do.
 
S

Sunflowerbun

Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2020
Messages
8
Location
UK
It’s more about acknowledging your own place in things and not breaching the role of the family or the (presumably adult) child. Especially if both are starting to signal that the op is not welcome. Hope for the best for the friend but stay out of people's medical issues. That is the best that anyone can do.
Well... for a 'friend' there is so little that we can do. We cannot enforce anything on the family or the patient. We could only respond to the doctors when they ask questions regarding the patient. Things like their daily behaviour and all. It becomes an issue when it interferes with my well being. Example, aggression or violence that's unwelcomed especially when it's on me. I think I do reserve my rights of calling the police if she does act on any of her delusions.

Sometimes it's easy to say goodbye and leave the friend alone if you don't really care about them. But it does break my heart when she could live a much more fulfilling life instead of getting treated. I would not want her to do something she would possibly regret years to come. It's because of many who chose not to stand up or take action, it led to many regrets and uncalled conclusions.
 
S

Sunflowerbun

Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2020
Messages
8
Location
UK
I'm surprised they did change the medication, but that in itself says something. Namely, that it was possible and they made the change — who knows if they found it inappropriate?

Parents who refuse their child's proper mental health treatment are dangerous. I have nothing good to say about them acting on their prejudice without bothering to educate themselves. The worst is precisely that other people go, "it's not our business. Let them handle it." what you mean is 'let the child suffer because I'm not sure what to do' or at worst '..because I'm a coward'.
The doctors did not change the medication just cause I said so but because of gather from their own observations and her inconsistencies that medication needed to be changed. It's not because I said so. As for me hoping she gets the treatment she deserves, I do understand that it's not my place to force treatment on her but as a friend who loves her I really do hope she leads a fulfilling life. Sadly to say, if even I ignore the fact she needs to be treated she would be left alone in this battle. Maybe to many, it's not right for a friend to be interfering but for me, there's a difference of what's right and what's good for her. I still stand by the fact I do think she needs to get treated but am I enforcing it on her? If her parents call me one day and ask me what my stand is I would still say the same but would I force them to get her treated? That's their responsibility to bear as to how their daughter turns out? I am still going to lead an amazing life, get married, have children, and lead a fulfilling life. However, they are the ones having to face a daughter who is 31 years old, cannot hold a stable job, and needs them to feed her. The biggest problem is instead of getting appropriate treatment for her, they call me every other day to complain about her asking money from them all the time.
 
L

linus

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Well... for a 'friend' there is so little that we can do. We cannot enforce anything on the family or the patient. We could only respond to the doctors when they ask questions regarding the patient. Things like their daily behaviour and all. It becomes an issue when it interferes with my well being. Example, aggression or violence that's unwelcomed especially when it's on me. I think I do reserve my rights of calling the police if she does act on any of her delusions.

Sometimes it's easy to say goodbye and leave the friend alone if you don't really care about them. But it does break my heart when she could live a much more fulfilling life instead of getting treated. I would not want her to do something she would possibly regret years to come. It's because of many who chose not to stand up or take action, it led to many regrets and uncalled conclusions.
You are doing the right thing, if you can do it, just help as much as possible
 
L

Lizaje

Guest
would I force them to get her treated?
Well, you can't force them. You could pressure them, but the choice is theirs.
The biggest problem is instead of getting appropriate treatment for her, they call me every other day to complain about her asking money from them all the time.
How does that help?

Can you contact social services? I.e. could it perhaps help? Imo, they don't seem fit guardians for her.
 
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