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My anxiety ruined my relationship

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xxmisstiffxx

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Nov 10, 2014
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:low:

My boyfriend broke it off with me a few weeks ago after 11 months of being together. I am in so much pain and miss him terribly. I have severe anxiety and trust issues and would get upset at him for the dumbest reasons. He hung in there and really tried to make it work, but finally had enough. I didn't know what to do or how to fix why I was reacting to him the way I did and we got stuck in the same pattern. Now it's too late and he's gone. I'm so disappointed in myself for letting it get to this point. He really cared for me and loved me and said when we first met that he thought I was the one but I sabotaged the relationship with my stupid irrational and false thoughts.

I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about him or if he's met some one else yet. It's to the point where I'm checking his facebook to see if he's added new girls, seeing him have fun and going out makes me feel horrible, but I only do it to myself. I want to talk to him so much but am scared to contact him, since I said I wouldn't. I know I need to work on myself, which I am. I am just in so much pain. I will never meet some one like him again. Please help. I don't know what to do I want him back in my life. I feel like my world is just a dark, lonely place now without his light.

I am so afraid that he will meet someone else, and I will always regret what I did and how I acted. I'll never get over that another woman would now have his love and kindness, everything that he gave to me, even though I didn't deserve it sometimes and that I will never forgive myself for ruining the best relationship I've ever had. I am so miserable I don't know how to cope. My therapist says to keep busy, but there is only so much I can do.
 
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worried111

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Nov 14, 2014
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I can't offer much help but I just wanted to say I'm going through the EXACT same thing. Mine was a 2 year relationship that ended 2 weeks ago. It's so hard to deal with, especially when they wanted to be with you but couldn't handle the anxiety. But it's not our fault either because we didn't ask for the disorder and when you're mind is messing with you, it's even harder to solve the problem. I'm sure that like me, you tried your hardest to be a good girlfriend. Just know that you're not alone in your pain.
 
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xxmisstiffxx

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Nov 10, 2014
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Thank you worried and I am sorry for your pain as well. It sucks that when we were together we were so great, but the minute we were apart my fears, anxiety, and jealousy took over.
 
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worried111

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Nov 14, 2014
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I know the feeling. I started getting jealous for no reason too, and I knew it was irrational but it kept happening. I can't stop beating myself up for this. Have you found any ways to cope yet?
 
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xxmisstiffxx

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Nov 10, 2014
Messages
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No, unfortunately I haven't. I am just trying to get through each day without him without breaking down. Everyone says it's not my fault, but I know it is. I drove him away and that just kills me. I wish I had some magic cure for the both of us to get over it, or better yet get them back, but right now seems impossible.
 
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worried111

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Nov 14, 2014
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Same...no one's words are comforting because I know I'm to blame. Life would be easier if people were more compassionate and patient with mental health issues in relationships. They wouldn't leave us if we had a broken leg and needed a little more attention. This shouldn't be any different.
 
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stella

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Oct 13, 2014
Messages
255
I had the same problem but with my friends, they just gave up on me and my anxiety + depression. I finally realised the world doesnt end in them, I love them so much but I wont be there hurting them, now im just gonna focus on myself, on my recovery. If you really want to talk to him do it, don't let the "what if..." bring you down, you have nothing to loose. You're not alone, you can always post here in the forum and we'll give you strength :hug:, I hope you clear things soon, with or without him

pm me if you want ♥
 
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