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my anxiety. just a vent. tw-self harm

S

sagelibra

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Australia
as long as i can remember i’ve had anxiety, but now it’s getting worse.

i have emetaphobia and that is the main reason for my anxiety, if you don’t know what it is, look it up because i can’t explain it because when i do it causes me anxiety .

i’ll describe my anxiety attacks to you. i’ll explain it in two kinds: emetaphobia attacks and stress attacks ( these can be both at times )

emetaphobia attack : i feel nauseous, sick and scared. i start shaking and i can hardly move, but i want to run at the same time. i just want it to stop and all i can think about it how my stomach feels. nothing else. nothing can help me at that time except for me calming down on my own. i clear my throat as a habit excessively and sometimes get acid reflux and indigestion which makes the anxiety worse. a lot of the time it feels like the only thing that can help these attacks is pain ( self harming), but i can also calm down by getting fresh air and breathing but it takes longer. i know i shouldn’t result to self harm but a lot of the time i do and i can’t help it.

stress attack: these have been more recent, happening a lot. usually happens when something stressful happens or when someone screams or shouts too loud, or when i’m in public and something just gets too overwhelming. i can hear my parents fighting and screaming in my head and my mum and dad screaming at me. i can also hear myself screaming it me. a lot of the time i’ll block my ears and start hysterically pleading it to stop and start crying. at these times i want to escape from my body. i’m sensitive to any noise. i feel dizzy and faint as well. a lot of the time this will happen with anger, before or after i get extremely angry. usually after these stress attacks i might self harm.

just wanted to see some of y’all’s inside on this and if this is normal because my psychiatrist has said that i probably have bpd, but i’m a minor so he can’t really do much about it.
 
C

Comfort23

Active member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
27
Location
Miami, Florida USA
Thank you for your courage in reaching out. It's good to talk about these things rather than keeping it all inside. You mentioned sensitivity to noise. Are you sensitive to anything else like the texture of clothing or bright lights? There's a psychologist - Dr. Elaine Aron - who coined the term "the highly sensitive person" (also referred to as sensory processing sensitivity). It's an evolutionary trait in 15-20% of the population where the nervous system takes in more information. It's not a mental disorder and it can be a gift but it can also lead to feeling overwhelmed by sensory input. There are online tests to determine if you might be an HSP and a psychologist/therapist familiar with HSP may be able to help as well. If you have this, it can help to find ways to minimize the sensory overload whenever possible.

Do your parents know you're struggling with emotional pain and self harm? Are there any other adults you trust? I've self harmed a few times and find TIPP skills (Temperature (cold water/ice pack, intense exercise, paced breathing, progressive muscle relaxation) to be helpful. Using an ice pack or cold water on my face helps trigger the dive reflex and helps me get into a less emotional state of mind. Maybe you've tried that?

There's a book I've been reading on Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills that has a lot of DBT Exercises to help people with overwhelming emotions. Whether or not you have BPD, dialectical behavioral therapy may help with overwhelming emotions. This book is called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. If a psychiatrist can't diagnose you with BPD due to being a minor, perhaps you would find some relief from working through the skills taught to people with BPD on your own? You might even be able to find DBT books for free at your library. I've also been finding a lot of useful information on coping with anxiety in online videos. There are a lot of licensed therapists that provide really useful free content.

I do believe there is hope and we can get better. So, please keep trying. If you have a setback, it's okay. We're only human. Just use it as another opportunity to get back up and try again.
 
stygianiron222

stygianiron222

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2021
Messages
229
Location
the underworld
what can our psychiatrist do? i dont know a lot, but im sure you can get therapy/meds when youre a minor. i think it will realy help to get some meds because it sounds like youre going through a really hard time. have you tried breathing excersises to calm down?
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
1,957
Location
Southern USA
Your breathing exercises are awesome! Good job! Keep it up.
Best luck.
 
S

Snowfall 62

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
65
Location
22630
The other people who have shared with you are much more knowledgeable than me. I hope their replies help you. As a mother my heart breaks for you...you need hugs, support and safety in sharing your pain.
Please don't hurt yourself...you are not at fault so please don't punish yourself.
I know that's easier said than done but I just wanted you to know I care and so do many other people in this forum.
 
S

sagelibra

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Australia
what can our psychiatrist do? i dont know a lot, but im sure you can get therapy/meds when youre a minor. i think it will realy help to get some meds because it sounds like youre going through a really hard time. have you tried breathing excersises to calm down?
yes, i have tried breathing excersises and it works to a certain extent, but when i’m in a state i feel as though i need to break out of my own body, and i can’t do anything to stop it
 
S

sagelibra

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Australia
what can our psychiatrist do? i dont know a lot, but im sure you can get therapy/meds when youre a minor. i think it will realy help to get some meds because it sounds like youre going through a really hard time. have you tried breathing excersises to calm down?
i already do have meds for anxiety and depression and from what i’ve heard bpd can’t be diagnosed until your 18 or older
 
S

sagelibra

Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
9
Location
Australia
Thank you for your courage in reaching out. It's good to talk about these things rather than keeping it all inside. You mentioned sensitivity to noise. Are you sensitive to anything else like the texture of clothing or bright lights? There's a psychologist - Dr. Elaine Aron - who coined the term "the highly sensitive person" (also referred to as sensory processing sensitivity). It's an evolutionary trait in 15-20% of the population where the nervous system takes in more information. It's not a mental disorder and it can be a gift but it can also lead to feeling overwhelmed by sensory input. There are online tests to determine if you might be an HSP and a psychologist/therapist familiar with HSP may be able to help as well. If you have this, it can help to find ways to minimize the sensory overload whenever possible.

Do your parents know you're struggling with emotional pain and self harm? Are there any other adults you trust? I've self harmed a few times and find TIPP skills (Temperature (cold water/ice pack, intense exercise, paced breathing, progressive muscle relaxation) to be helpful. Using an ice pack or cold water on my face helps trigger the dive reflex and helps me get into a less emotional state of mind. Maybe you've tried that?

There's a book I've been reading on Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills that has a lot of DBT Exercises to help people with overwhelming emotions. Whether or not you have BPD, dialectical behavioral therapy may help with overwhelming emotions. This book is called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. If a psychiatrist can't diagnose you with BPD due to being a minor, perhaps you would find some relief from working through the skills taught to people with BPD on your own? You might even be able to find DBT books for free at your library. I've also been finding a lot of useful information on coping with anxiety in online videos. There are a lot of licensed therapists that provide really useful free content.

I do believe there is hope and we can get better. So, please keep trying. If you have a setback, it's okay. We're only human. Just use it as another opportunity to get back up and try again.
thanks for the support, i do have a lot of people who love me and have helped me, i have a psychiatrist and psychologist and also medications, at one point i was on about 5 at the same time.

my parents also know about self harm but my dad has never been very understanding of that stuff. i was misdiagnosed as bipolar a year ago, but they said it was wrong. my mum did have bipolar and severe depression at one point and she knows what i’m going through but her depression wasn’t the same as mine so she still doesn’t understand when i tell her that i can’t clean my room because she never ate when she was down, when i do
 
S

Snowfall 62

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 2, 2021
Messages
65
Location
22630
Everyone's pain is so different from others. It's difficult to explain and make someone understand what's going on inside your head... I feel the same way too when it comes to no one really being able to understand what I am going through mentally and emotionally. It's a lonely feeling but I'm so glad to hear you do have some support and people who genuinely care about you.
 
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